Reality's Dream
by kimmikat
Summary: Complete: Even the knowledge that she could never be with Syaoran could not erase the one painful fact that she had kept secret so long. Sakura Kinomoto was in love with her best friend Syaoran Li. For anyone who has loved a friend.
1. Loving a Best Friend

**Reality's Dream**

**Kimmikat**

**Prologue**

A young girl sat in the corner of the cafeteria alone, her vibrant green eyes watching from a safe distance two teens at a nearby table. She did not need to hear what they were saying to see that her dreams were on the verge of being shattered forever. This girl, Sakura Kinomoto, painfully was present to offer support to her best friend since diaperhood Syaoran Li. Sakura watched as he gently teased the raven haired girl beside him. He may have appeared calm and collected but Sakura could see the nervousness in his eyes, the slight pulling at his mouth that betrayed to her his true feelings.

Sakura could feel the knot in her stomach tighten as the girl with eyes like crystallized violets blushed at Syaoran's attention to her, that her being none other than her other best friend Tomoyo Daidoji. Sakura and Syaoran attended the same school till middle school where they went their separate ways, which is where she met Tomoyo. The two grew to be good friends while Sakura continued her friendship with Syaoran outside of school. That is until high school where the two separate friendships collided. She could still remember that fateful day.

(Flashback)

_I knew I was in trouble the moment we started high school_. Changes were bound to occur but who could have predicted that they would be this painful. It was lunch the first day at Cypress High. Tomoyo and Sakura were sitting giggling about how many cute guys were in their classes so far when they heard that voice that never failed to send a shiver down her spine.

"Hey Sakura." Syaoran said.

"Hi." Sakura replied struggling not to blush.

"So you are the infamous Syaoran Li I presume?" Tomoyo asked.

"And you must then be the lovely Tomoyo Daidoiji I hear so much about." He smiled extending his hand out to hers. _And that was the moment, the exact moment I realized he liked her. Syaoran didn't even realize it himself. It took him close to a year for him to admit his feelings for Tomoyo. But I knew right then from how his amber eyes lit up as they lingered on her face and the smile tugging at his lips. My best friend had fallen for my other best friend._ It was like out of a soap opera.

(Present time)

And from that moment on Sakura had had to watch this affection grow and blossom. To be fed by realization and desire to where finally on this random day in junior year when Syaoran had finally decided to take action. How he had begged Sakura to be there. To silently root him on. _If only he knew……_

Something in the scene a few feet away changed almost stilling. It was as if the rest of the cafeteria was blurring away and all the air silence. This was it. This was the moment that made her heart pound in her chest the fear well inside her veins chilling her to the bone. She saw Tomoyo lean over and say something to him. Syaoran's face showed no change in expression. He slowly turned around to face Sakura who was awaiting the news.

And in that look she felt all her hopes shatter like a mirror being dropped to the floor, the pieces scattering to be blown away by the wind. She saw the twinkle in his rich brown eyes and the slightly perceptive nod and her heart filled with sand to weigh her down.

But she was his friend, she reminded herself. She was happy that his dreams had not been crushed. In fact they had come true. He had asked Tomoyo out and she had accepted. So she placed a smile upon her face and giving him a wave of encouragement she watched him turn back to Tomoyo.

The moment his eyes left her she dashed for the exit quick to get out of the suddenly oppressive cafeteria. Sakura let her feet lead her away. It didn't matter where she ended up as long as she escaped the painful image now replaying itself in her mind of her two best friends.

Sakura found herself under the canopy of the cafeteria entrance watching the rain splatter on the pavement from the steel gray clouds looming above. It was as if nature was releasing the torment she could not.

_Who was I kidding?_ She thought bitterly. _Syaoran will always see me as a little sister and see Tomoyo as the gorgeous object to want and love. You knew this would happen so…_ So why couldn't she make her feelings go away? Even the knowledge that she could never be with Syaoran could not erase the one painful fact that she had kept secret so long.

Sakura Kinomoto was in love with her best friend Syaoran Li.


	2. The Request

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 1: The Request**

'Where is he?' Sakura tapped her foot impatiently on the matted floor glancing at the clock. She was at their usual post school training and Syaoran was late. Even since second they had trained together after school in the small back room of the Wo-lan dojo. She knew this room so well, the fading wood panel walls, the hard carpet floor with a slight springiness, the banners floating down by the one large mirror promising luck and health in beautiful characters. 'He's lucky Sensei isn't here today.' Sakura thought remembering how Sensei Ming's eyebrows would twitch when she stumbled in late to practice. On meditation days though, Sakura and Syaoran worked alone. 'For once he is the one late and not me. So unfair that Sensei is not here. Why am I always the one to get lectured? Must be bad luck.' Sakura grumbled.

Sakura heard the squeak of the door and turned to tirade Syaoran to make up for all the times she suffered the glare of Sensei Ming when she felt herself lifted up. Syaoran had caught her in his arms and began to waltz her round the room. Sakura felt her spirit soar as laughter bubbled up from deep inside. The room spun round and round till both landed in a smiling, giggling heap on a mat.

"Hi." Syaoran managed through his heavy breathing, his creamy brown eyes shining.

"Well hello to you too." Sakura smiled. She loved it when Syaoran was so exuberant. Those times when his mask fell away and instinct took over. He acted on feeling and impulse not on thought. It was pure and natural. "Had a good day perhaps?" She teased.

Syaoran felt his smile widen at the reminder. The joy he had felt all day had finally burst through when he had seen Sakura standing before him. All of school he had bottled it up, hiding it away until he could share it with her, his best friend.

The two teens slowly began to pull themselves off the floor as Sakura questioned, "So why were you late?"

"I was helping Tomoyo. Her car wouldn't start so I attached my battery to hers to give it a jump." Syaoran replied. And with that simple and innocent answer Sakura felt reality come crashing back in as the events of the day worked their way into her mind. She had gone through the quite human experience of denial and had pushed it from her thoughts. She had successfully avoided Tomoyo but had not been quite as lucky with Syaoran considering how many of her classes he was in. But she had survived the pain by ignoring it. Now it rose up inside her, a burning ache kindling in her heart.

Sakura merely nodded her head and turned her face away unable to look him in the eye for fear she would give herself away.

"Uhhhh Sakura…" Syaoran began his voice a little hesitant. 'Did he see?' Her mind panicked thinking he had guessed her true feelings. But Sakura was in for a bigger shock. "Could I ask you a favor?"

"Of course you can. You know you never even have to ask. I'll always be there for you." Sakura said stating the truth. No matter how much it could hurt to be near him she would never abandon him.

"Well I was wondering if you could go on my date with Tomoyo."

Sakura whipped around eyes wide trying to comprehend his meaning. 'Maybe I hit my head when we fell to the floor because I could swear I just heard him ask me to go on his date.'

Seeing her confused expression Syaoran elaborated, "I'm kinda hoping you could do the moral support thing again. You know be my wing man in case I screw up."

Sit there on their date watching her love and her best friend make goo goo eyes at one another, hold hands, maybe even ki… Sakura shook the hurtful images from her mind trying to come up with a reasonable excuse to trade in for the real one. "Syaoran don't you think that would be a little awkward. I'd be a third wheel. Hardly romantic. And remember Tomoyo is a romance fanatic." Sakura said thinking of how Tomoyo could go on for hours about heroes and heroines in her romance novels.

"Please Sakura." Syaoran begged. Sakura could feel her resolve breaking at her friend's apparent need. How could she ever say no to him? Sensing defeat in reach he added in, "Besides you could bring someone. That way it would be a square not a triangle. You wouldn't feel alone."

"…"

"Please Sakura." Syaoran whispered as he leaned in closer staring into her emerald eyes. Sakura felt her breath catch in her throat, her heart pounding merely from his closeness. Meekly she nodded her compliance.

"Thank you." Syaoran cheered hugging her quickly before running to the CD player to start some relaxation music before meditation. 'Sure,' Sakura thought, 'What are friends for?'

The two sat down crossed legged slowing their breath and clearing their minds. Sakura struggled with this task but for some reason despite the event of the day Syaoran had no trouble at all.


	3. A Sign For Hope

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 2: A Sign For Hope**

"Sakura, do you mind if we went to my house instead? Mother returned early from her trip in Peru and wants to see you." Syaoran asked as they got into the dark green Explorer in the dojo parking lot

"You know I'd love to see your mom. Besides it will mean Toya will be stuck with dinner duty." Sakura grinned evilly while sliding into the beige interior. She and her brother definitely had an interesting relationship to say the least. And Sakura loved nothing more than to pay him back for all the times he annoyed her.

Syaoran let out a slight chuckle finding the sibling rivalry rather amusing. Though he was glad when Sakura was on the winning side of the feud for the obvious reason, he also was motivated by the instinctual loathing he and Toya shared. Toya did not approve of Sakura's friendship with Syaoran more than any of her other male friendships, but neither could understand why.

As they pulled into the familiar driveway Sakura took in the lush garden that was covered with a light mist from the afternoon rain. One of her favorite things about Syaoran's house, if you could call it a house considering the extreme size of it, was the gardens. In the back was a wonderful display of the finest flowers around filled with stone benches, little swings, and even a little maze with a beautiful pond in the center. It was so serene filled with a soft splendor that Sakura found soothing. The garden was her favorite place to escape when life was getting messy, a place to clear her thoughts.

Wei took their jackets as they went inside. "Mother," Syaoran called, "We're back!"

Down the winding stairs stepped a regal middle aged woman, black hair cascading down from a high pony tail. She gave a quick embrace to her son then went to the girl beside him. "Sakura, I'm glad you could come," as she placed a kiss on Sakura's cheek.

Sakura smiled at the woman who was like a second mother, "I would never pass up on a chance to see you."

All of a sudden a sound like a herd of stampeding elephants filled the room and Sakura was swarmed by four brown haired women shrieking and poking and prodding.

"Oh she's still so cute!"

"Little brother and her were practicing again!"

"You must sleep over tonight!"

All four looked at Sakura expectantly. "Okay. Okay. I'll stay. I'll just need to let Dad know."

Yelan, the mother of Syaoran and the four screaming sisters, nodded to Wei, "Please see that Sakura's room is ready after dinner." Sakura had had a room in this house for years, right next to Syaoran's. It was like a second home; she even kept a separate set of clothes here considering she slept over at least once a week.

"Right away Mistress Li. And the cook would like me to inform you that dinner is ready." Wei said with a bow as he left to perform his mistress's request.

Dinner was filled with talk of Yelan's trip to Peru to scout out new possible excavation sites of the Incan culture. She was the funding behind many of Sakura's fathers trips and Yelan liked to do a little hands on exploration before beginning a project. But throughout the discussion, she couldn't help but noticed her son's slightly more cheerful attitude. But when she questioned Syaoran he merely responded that it had been a good day. Yelan did not miss the small falter in Sakura's expression.

As the two teens began to leave for their rooms Yelan called out, "Sakura would stay for a moment. There's something I have for you."

Glancing quickly at Syaoran he said, "I'll meet you in my room later."

Sakura took a seat next to the older woman noticing a small box in her lap. "When I went to Peru I found something of extreme interest. There was a myth of a young man and women who were in love but were separated by their families. The young woman's family arranged her to be married to another man. The lover told her to have faith, that he had a plan for them to escape and gave her a charm to look at any time she needed to be reminded of his love. This charm had been a symbol of hope, hope for their love."

"That's a beautiful story. But how did it end?" Sakura asked.

"That's the actually beauty of the story. It doesn't have a true ending. The myth is so old that there are so many versions of the fate of the lovers, some happier than others. But that's the meaning of hope, the possibilities before you are both good and bad." Yelan then lifted the tiny box for Sakura to open. Sakura sighed at the contents. Resting inside was a small stone on a leather cord. The stone was a cool blue gray, like the ocean before a storm. And on its smooth surface was etched a swirling design. To Sakura it looked like waves of water pierced by a ray of light.

Sakura reached out to embrace Yelan expressing her gratitude. "I found this and thought of you," Yelan spoke as she rose. Then with her elegant hands she plucked the necklace from the box and fastened it around Sakura's neck. "Always remember to keep hope. Some people just take longer to see what's right in front of them."

Sakura's eyes shot up trying to find the meaning in what was just said but only found mysterious eyes twinkling back. Reiterating her thanks and bidding good night, Sakura headed up the stairs to see Syaoran as Yelan watched thinking, 'Have faith Sakura, my son will see you eventually. Just give him time.'


	4. Wishing for a Sugar Induced Coma

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 3: Wishing for a Sugar Induced Coma**

"Gah! What is Mr. Douran trying to do? Make my brain explode? That quiz was abominable!" Sakura grumbled as she sat down at the cafeteria table across from Syaoran and Tomoyo as Chelsea and Takashi sat alongside her. The recent storm had broken leaving crisp blue skies and weak sunlight that filtered through the windows. "Of course I bet you had no troubles 'Mr. I am a Math Whiz." Sakura directed toward Syaoran who took no notice. At the moment he was gazing at Tomoyo who then shyly looked his way. Their eyes met and little smiles appeared on their faces before they looked away a faint red painted on their cheeks.

Sakura meekly tried again, "Tomoyo how about you?"

Tomoyo shook herself slightly before responding, "About what?" Then she snuck another little glance at the person beside her. Repeating the met gazes and bashful aversion.

"Never mind," Sakura said her voice drained as she pushed herself away from the table. "I'm gonna go get some soda or something," Leaving behind a perplexed table.

Sakura didn't want to be so rude but she had a feeling what the rest of lunch was going to be like and witnessing the budding romance was not on her list of must sees. At the vending machines she turned back to watch her abandoned group, sighing at the sight of Syaoran and Tomoyo flirting even if it wasn't obviously, she knew both too well recognizing every little sign they gave of attraction. How she was going to survive when their relationship grew was a mystery considering how hard it was at this moment. What would she do if they started to hold hands or call each all those lovey dovey nicknames or even god forbid started kissing in front of her?

"It's hard isn't it?" A soothing voice whispered.

Sakura jumped slightly at finding the tall teen beside her. Eriol Hiiragizawa had dark hair that reflected midnight blue in certain lights along with piercing cerulean eyes that had a mischievous twinkle lurking in the corner. "What's hard?" Sakura asked eyes still on the couple in the distance.

"Watching the one you love be with someone else." Eriol stated simply.

Sakura gasped slightly as her eyes snapped to his searching but unsure of what she saw. "You know." She smirked slightly. Did everyone know her feelings except the one who deserved to know?

Eriol merely placed his hand on her shoulder giving it a friendly squeeze.

"Must be tough for you too." Sakura said remembering, "I mean with Tomoyo and all."

"Actually not so much anymore." This surprised Sakura, sparking curiosity. "I had it bad for Tomoyo. But when it became clear she was interested in someone else I kinda gave up on being with her. I grew to accept that it was not meant to be and moved on"

"You must think I'm pretty dumb don't you?" Sakura asked smiling wryly thinking of how long she had harbored these feelings for one who had no idea.

"Not at all." Eriol smiled back. "Actually I quite admire your strength at holding onto hope. Even though the future looks bleak you still keep faith that things could change."

Sakura looked closer at Eriol surprised at his words yet again as they sparked memories of Yelan's words from the previous night. He had been in her life since freshman year, a middle school friend of Syaoran, but somehow he had always faded into the background as her entire vision was engulfed by Syaoran. But now Sakura could see the warm and thoughtful young man and his kind supportive words. How she ached for comfort, for someone to ease the pain. And here was someone, a friend, who understood her situation.

They stood there, smiling in silence as if both realizing in that moment that their lost loves were going to bring them closer, a friendship growing from a common suffering. A promise rose in Sakura's mind, "Eriol I have a favor to ask and I would completely understand if you say no but could you…" She wavered unsure of whether or not to continue.

"If I would come with you to help Syaoran in his little romantic escapades?" Eriol asked as if reading her mind.

"How did you know?" Sakura stuttered absolutely flabbergasted.

"I'm psychic of course." Eriol stated proudly. Sakura gave him a side long glance raising an eyebrow. "Okay," He conceded. "I just know Syaoran. He always turns to you for help. And considering how this is his first date ever he's gonna need all the help he can get." Sakura gave him another glance still not convinced. "Alright. Alright. I may have stupidly suggested he bring along a wing man but I had meant me. But being the idiot I am I forgot how completely he relies on his best friend. For that I am sorry."

"It's not your fault. You were just trying to help a friend. Besides maybe it will help me to realize that there's no hope. And," She paused before continuing. "Maybe it will help to have a friend there to support me." Sakura looked hopefully at Eriol and was glad to find his comforting blue eyes looking down at her promising to be there for her.

After a moment Eriol suggested, "So are you ready to face the awkward lovebirds yet?"

"Sure. But let me get a soda first. And maybe a chocolate bar. Maybe if I consume enough sugar I can slip into a coma." The two chuckled simply at the idea knowing Sakura could consume massive amounts of sugar and it wouldn't even faze her. 'Laughter helps to lighten a load.' The phrase bounced around Sakura's mind. "Damn," She cursed when the vending machine ate her dollar but did not relinquish the metallic can filled with liquid sweetness.

"Here." Eriol then delivered a swift kick to the machine and several cans rattled to the opening. Bent down and retrieved them offering to Sakura, "Milady, your beverage."

Sakura giggled and thanked Eriol as they headed back to finish off the lunch, Sakura feeling more prepared then she had since the moment she had realized Syaoran wanted Tomoyo.


	5. Ready for Lift Off

Special thanks to 1Natsuyo1 and Frosted Blossomz for their kind support. I didn't think any old followers would review for the chapters again. Thank you. And keep emailing the administration if you feel there are problems that need to be fixed.

Disclaimer: Clamp's characters, my story, song by Sarah McLaughlin.

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 4: Ready for Liftoff**

Sakura and Syaoran stumbled out of the dojo that afternoon weary from two hours of drills. "I think I have lost the ability to move my arm," Sakura kidded as they headed toward his car.

"Then it's a good thing your not the driver," Syaoran teased as she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Just means I get to be lazy," She quipped back as she buckled her seat belt, watching him carefully back out of the space.

"When are you not lazy?" Syaoran grinned as Sakura attempted to glare but her emerald eyes betraying the hidden laughter. "Oh that's right, when food is involved!"

"Watch it buster or you could be looking at three day old mystery surprise for dinner." Sakura threatened.

"Well at least I'd have the pleasure of knowing Toya was suffering that fate too," Syaoran stated as he headed for the Kinomoto residence.

"No dice. Toya's out on another job and won't be back till late so your dietary torture will be a solo act." Sakura countered noticing that they'd been sitting at one red light for a long time. This signal was timed for a lengthy amount for people to walk across but it sure made for a long wait. Most people would run it considering there was never any traffic in the conflicting direction, but she knew Syaoran would never take a risk like that. Never.

"That's actually good news considering how your brother hates my guts and would spend the entire meal thinking of ways to kill me and dispose of my body." Sakura laughed knowing that was an accurate description of her brother's feelings toward her best friend. She still couldn't understand why they couldn't make peace, but she blamed it on testosterone.

Finally the light turned as green as her eyes and they continued the journey to her house. Sakura scanned the radio stations halting upon hearing a beautiful song. Syaoran ceased talking knowing how much she liked this haunting tune.

**I have a smile**

**stretched from ear to ear**

**to see you walking down the road**

**we meet at the lights**

**I stare for a while**

**the world around disappears**

**just you and me**

**on this island of hope**

**a breath between us could be miles**

**let me surround you**

**my sea to your shore**

**let me be the calm you seek**

**oh and every time I'm close to you**

**there's too much I can't say**

**and you just walk away**

**and I forgot**

**to tell you**

**I love you**

**and the night's**

**too long**

**and cold here**

**without you **

**I grieve in my condition**

**for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so**

Sakura glanced at Syaoran as he pulled into her driveway thinking how similar a position she and the singer were in, always close to the one they love but unable to say how much they needed that person, how much they loved them.

**oh and every time I'm close to you**

**there's too much I can't say**

**and you just walk away**

**and I forgot**

**to tell you**

**I love you**

**and the night's**

**too long**

**and cold here**

**without you**

When the song ended Syaoran took the key out of the ignition cutting off the next tune the radio played. "Don't know why you like that song so much. It's depressing." Syaoran commented as they headed inside.

"You're one to talk considering your taste in music revolves around 'I'm a pimp, where my ho's at?' rap. Not much class or variety there." Sakura teased. "Besides don't you find it rather heart breaking to not be able to tell a person how much they mean to you? To watch your love walk away unable to express your feelings?"

Syaoran snorted, "Well tell them to grow a back bone."

"This coming from the guy who took more than half of high school to ask his crush out." Sakura countered. 'Then again who am I to talk,' Sakura thought. 'Let's not count my years of devotion.'

"Alright, alright," Syaoran conceded. "No need to get personal." But he still smiled.

"Hey you go take a shower while I start preparing the grub and then we can switch off ok?" Sakura suggested.

Thirty minutes later, the two friends found themselves seated at the dining table helping themselves to chicken and pesto pasta. "So where is your dad?" Syaoran asked noticing that Sakura's father, Fujitaka, was still not present.

"Oh he has some sort of archeology professors meeting thing, it probably is taking longer than he had anticipated. I'll just make sure to save him some food for when he gets back." Sakura replied.

"So Sakura?" Syaoran started.

"Hmmmm?"

"Did you find anyone to bring for tomorrow?"

"Roger that. Project wing man is ready for lift off." Sakura confirmed

Syaoran looked relieved. "So who is it?"

"Eriol." Sakura replied busy eating not noticing the change in Syaoran's expression. For some reason the answer unsettled him a bit. He had been expecting Sakura to take Meiling or maybe even Rika, but Eriol? But he brushed off his surprise as anxiety hit him like a tidal wave.

"Thank you Sakura so much for doing this for me. I like Tomoyo so much. I don't want to screw this up." Sakura smiled faintly but Syaoran saw the little flash passed in her eyes, like a spark of sorrow. But he didn't understand what it meant. "Sakura is something wrong?" His amber eyes worried, searching and probing like a doctor checking a patient for injuries.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." Sakura replied returning her attention to her food.

Syaoran could tell she was lying by the little quaver in her voice and the way her eyes would contract slightly before she told a falsehood. But Syaoran could not figure out the source of Sakura's sadness. He also realized that he probably would have to wait for her to come to him and tell what was bothering her. The fact that she wasn't speaking bothered him, what could be so bad she couldn't tell her best friend? He decided to make one more attempt.

"Sakura," Syaoran said softly making her head rise, her innocent eyes wondering what he was going to ask. "You can tell me anything you know."

Syaoran saw a swirl of emotion cloud her eyes and could feel her resolve breaking. The moment became charged neither able to look away, drowning in each other. Neither understood the speeding of their heartbeats or the shallowness of their breathing or the loss of thoughts.

"Sakura. I'm home."

Syaoran and Sakura broke apart at the voice. Syaoran quickly brushed off the experience. It had happened many times before in their years of friendship and he figured it was because they were so close.

"What's for dinner…You!" A tall man stood in the hallway dark eyes filled with the fire of a thousand suns, glaring at the young man seated across his sister.

"Toya. Stop causing trouble and sit down and eat." Sakura commanded shaking her head.

"I refuse to sit next to that brat." Toya growled.

"Still can't think of a new insult after all these years?" Syaoran nonchalantly teased.

"Oh I can think of quite a few many, none of which should be said in the presence of my sister." Toya responded taking a step closer to Syaoran towering over where he was sitting.

"Well you won't have to hurt your poor little brain by thinking of anything more because I'm leaving. Thanks Sakura for dinner. See ya tomorrow. Remember the plan." Syaoran gave Sakura a quick hug before departing.

"Honestly you two act so childish." Sakura mumbled as she cleared away her and Syaoran's plates.

"Just looking out for the little monster." Toya defended.

"I am not a monster!" Sakura threw a napkin at her brother. "Besides, Syaoran has done nothing wrong. He's been a good friend. In fact he is as protective of me as you are. I have no idea why you two fight like cats and dogs."

And with that she left Toya to eat in silence as he grumbled about the brown haired friend. "Well he should learn to be better at protecting you because he's going to end up hurting you and soon." He shook his head fearing how badly his sister's heart could get broken by one person, he hoped his predictions wouldn't come true.


	6. The Things you do for Friendship

This story was previously deleted. Please read the author's note of first chapter and email administration for a better system.

Disclaimer: Clamp's characters, my story, my poem

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 5: The Things You Do For Friendship**

"Are you sure you're up for this?" a concerned voice questioned.

"Doesn't matter if I am ready. I have to do this for him Eriol." Sakura responded as she scanned the crowd at the movie theater for a specific couple. "No matter what I'll be there for him."

"Which is why he always turns to you. You're too selfless for your own damned good." Eriol teased but he his blue eyes showed the conviction in his sentence. Sakura looked up at him and gave a lopsided smile. "Oh look there they are." Eriol spoke pointing to an attractive looking couple in the distance.

Sakura gulped. 'They look good together. Like two models who accidentally ended up crashing at a movie theater rather than a movie premiere.' But it looked like the date was off to a not so great start as Syaoran and Tomoyo stood in an awkward silence in the concession stand line. "Looks like our services are required." Sakura said as they headed in that direction.

Right behind the two Sakura pretended to trip and bumped into Tomoyo. "Oh I am terribly sorry. I…Tomoyo! Syaoran! What are you doing here?" Sakura felt like an actress in some cheesy teen movie. The things you do for friendship.

"Sakura! I could ask the same of you." Tomoyo replied as the boys went off in the line to get snacks. With their presences gone Tomoyo leaned in to Sakura, "I'm here with Syaoran…on a date."

Sakura feigned memory loss, "That's right. I do vaguely remember hearing something about the two of you going out. I had no idea that you would pick the movies of all places." 'I should get an Oscar for this' Sakura grumbled mentally not liking lying to her friend.

"So then what are you doing here?" Tomoyo questioned.

"Oh Eriol and I just wanted to see the new Harry Potter film." Sakura replied, knowing thanks to a certain brown haired someone that Harry Potter was the movie of choice for the date.

"Sakura is there something you want to tell me?" Tomoyo asked her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Sakura gulped. "Oh dear. Busted already. May Day! Ship going down! Help!' "About what?" Sakura managed in a slightly strangled voice.

"Oh don't be shy," Tomoyo nudged Sakura with an elbow moving her eyebrows suggestively. "Is there something going on with you and Eriol?"

'Whew!' Sakura thought, 'She doesn't know about me helping. Wait. Did she just mean me and Eriol are…What?' "What do you mean?"

"Oh nothing." Tomoyo said innocently, but that little glint in her lavender eyes suggested otherwise. "Why don't you guys sit with us? Syaoran and I are also seeing Harry Potter."

"I wouldn't want to intrude." Sakura protested though not very wholeheartedly considering that was the aim of this conversation.

"It wouldn't be intruding." Tomoyo insisted.

"If you say so," Sakura gave in though also not too thrilled with this accomplishment.

At that time Eriol and Syaoran reappeared with drinks, popcorn, and candy in tow. Syaoran glanced quickly at Sakura who gave a minute nod seeing the tension leave as relief filled his face.

With his free hand, Eriol offered his arm to Sakura, "Shall we?"

Sakura giggled at his gallantry and placed her arm through his. Noticing that Tomoyo and Syaoran were as still as gargoyles on a cathedral, Sakura elbowed Syaoran and motioned for him to do the same. Arm in arm the couples walked into the theater to find their seats.

Tomoyo was followed by Syaoran who was followed by Sakura and was finished with Eriol. And once again silence ensued as the pre show ads played accompanied by smarmy jazz music over the speakers. 'This is going to be a long night.'

"Syaoran, did you know that the director for the third movie is not the one who directed the first two?" Sakura prompted.

"Yeah I heard that he also added in parts that the author was going to use in the future books, but she had never informed him of those things." Syaoran said.

"Wow that's really freaky." Tomoyo piped up, joining the conversation.

"Well maybe it was magic." Syaoran joked and Tomoyo giggled. 'About damn time!' Sakura felt a little proud of the current conversation, tension free and quite easy flowing. But it didn't help that the little ache in her heart was still pulling. Sakura shoved it aside. She had a job to do and she wasn't going to let her feelings interfere with her friends' happiness.

The crowd fell silent as the lights dimmed and the movie began and all four were thoroughly enjoying themselves until something caught a certain auburn haired female's eye. She noticed Syaoran's left hand making the attempt to casually get to Tomoyo's. Riveted Sakura watched as Syaoran, head facing forward, would inch his hand over then stay still for a moment. Then he would move his hand as if to brush a strand of hair from his face and when he placed it back down it would mysteriously be another inch nearer to Tomoyo's.

The room seemed to shrink and grow oppressive as if all the air had been sucked out. Sakura couldn't tear her eyes away nor could she breathe as Syaoran's hand brushed Tomoyo's. She saw Tomoyo's eyes widen but still remained faced forward. Syaoran then slid his hand over hers and their fingers laced. Finally the two turned and gave each other nervous smiles. Sakura's throat tightened and her eyes burned. 'I have to get out of here!' Her mind screamed as she shot out of her seat and pushed passed Eriol and ran up the stairs to the light outside.

Syaoran rose to go see what was wrong when Eriol stopped him, "Don't worry I'll go after her."

"I should see if she's alright." Syaoran protested but Eriol blocked him.

"You're on a date. Sakura wouldn't want to disrupt that." Eriol stated.

Syaoran was about to try again when a harsh voice yelled, "Sit down!" Syaoran reluctantly sat back in his seat as Eriol made his way up the stairs that Sakura had fled on.

Eriol found Sakura pacing in the hall by the restrooms hugging her arms to herself. "Sakura?" He asked cautiously. She looked up and he could see her watery eyes but she was not quite crying. He thought she looked so fragile like all her strength was crumbling away leaving her vulnerable to the slightest breeze to knock her over.

"I can't do this." Her voice light and heavy at the same time.

Eriol put his hands on her shoulders, steadying Sakura. "Then I'll tell them you're sick and I'll take you home."

Sakura gave a weak smile looking into his concerned blue eyes. "Thanks but no. It wouldn't change anything. Besides I promised Syaoran to be there for him and if I left he and Tomoyo would be worried and I don't want to ruin their evening."

Eriol was surprised as her courage. "He wouldn't want you to do anything that caused you to suffer. You know that."

Sakura said nothing.

"Why don't you tell him?" Eriol suggested quietly. It seemed like a good solution in a way but Sakura shook her head.

"It wouldn't work. Trust me." The conviction in her voice kept Eriol from pressing the subject further. Sakura took a deep breath before saying, "We should get back."

As Sakura made to leave she felt strong arms twirl her back around and encircle her in a comforting hug, surrounded by solid warmth she melted into the embrace letting his strength and care fill her up.

After a moment Eriol released her and they headed back to the awaiting couple.

"Are you alright Sakura?" Tomoyo asked, worry apparent on her features.

Sakura racked her brain for a reasonable excuse for her behavior but she was too worn to locate one. Luckily Eriol came to her rescue. "Well little missy here didn't listen to me when I warned her having a Big Gulp before the movie would not be the smartest move. And of course who had to go dashing to the bathroom mid-movie due to a screaming bladder?"

Syaoran was still doubtful, "Sakura are you sure everything's okay?" Something in her expression bothered him. Sakura was hiding something and he wanted to know. But he never got to discover her response as a wave of buttered popcorn showered upon them as multiple "Shhhhhhhhhhs!" Could be heard. Never keep Harry Potter fans from their beloved movie, it only angers them.

When Sakura got home later that evening she barely managed to crawl up the stairs and collapsed on her bed lacking the energy as her tired body reflected the emptiness that resonated inside. She slowly rolled over and reached into the dresser drawer by her bed pulling out a most precious possession, her journal where she put her thoughts. It was a way to keep from bursting, to keep her secrets from leaking from her mouth. This journal had been hers since freshman year chronicling the entire Syaoran Tomoyo saga and the torment of being a witness. Its pages were filled from daily like entries to drawings to poems to random phrases, anything to release what was pent up inside.

Sakura lifted the pen to a new page and let the poison inside bleed onto the white paper never noticing the runs in the ink where her salty tears fell.

**I yearn to have him love me**

**To know that I care**

**I know my feelings will change our friendship**

**Yet for good or bad I do not know**

**I fear that if he knows**

**He will reject**

**Grow cold**

**Lost in an expanding world**

**Sharpened with pain **

**Seeing him love someone else**

**Wishing to be that someone else**

**So deep it tears me up like shredded paper**

**The pieces blowing apart in the wind**

**Maybe one day we can become more than friends and journey beyond**

**But as each moment flies by my dreams begin to wear thin**

**What will happen to me if the dreams disappear**

**I do not know**

**My heart might break**

**My soul might die **

**I only hope…**


	7. Not So Random Conversations

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 6: Not So Random Conversations**

Tomoyo rushed to her room quickly jumping into bed and grabbing the phone on the bedside table bursting to talk to a friend.

The one called picked up on the third ring with a muffled, "Hello?"

"Sakura, it's Tomoyo."

"Hey," Sakura replied and Tomoyo could have sworn she heard a sniffle.

"Are you feeling alright?" Tomoyo questioned.

"Just a little sleepy," Sakura fibbed. "No worries. So what did you call about?" Though neither really had to guess. Tomoyo was never the one to call in the middle of the night for a random phone conversation. She had something specific on her mind and Sakura had no doubt it concerned a particular brown eyed lover boy. Sakura braced herself for what lay ahead hoping it would not knock her asunder.

"I just cannot believe I went out on a date with him! I mean me of all people!" Tomoyo gushed going all starry eyed at the memory while Sakura puzzled.

"What do you mean 'you of all people'? Who else would it be?" Sakura asked.

Tomoyo quieted down for a moment. "In truth for a while I thought he had a thing for someone else but I turned out to be wrong." Sakura still did not understand what in the world Tomoyo was saying but decided to give up trying. "But Sakura I…well…"

"What?" Sakura asked hearing her friend struggle to say something.

"Well, Syaoran didn't kiss me. Not even goodnight. I mean I was fully prepared. I brushed my teeth and had gum and mints in my purse and nada. He hugged me good night. Do you think he's having second thoughts? Or doesn't really like me? Or? …Sakura are you there?" Tomoyo ceased her rambling realizing Sakura was no longer responding.

Sakura was shaken from her thoughts as she tried to stamp out the little spark of hope Tomoyo's doubt had ignited in her. Taking a deep breath she contemplated the situation before saying, "The thing about Syaoran is when it comes to girls he can be rather shy."

"Shy!" Tomoyo exclaimed. "He's got like a bijillion girls drooling over him and he's shy?"

Sakura was trying to find the nice way to phrase what she was about to say next, "See Syaoran has well never really gone out with any other girl before so he has no real experience."

Tomoyo was dumbfounded. "How is that possible?"

"Well considering he went head over heels for you freshman year he hasn't really paid any heed to any other girls, so this is something completely new to him thus he feels awkward." Sakura finished explaining with a little edge to her voice, she just wanted this conversation to end so could go to bed and escape this nightmare of reality in the dream world

Tomoyo sat in silence for a moment letting this information sink in. She had no idea Syaoran had so little experience or that he would be timid. He always seemed so cool and confident, always sure of himself and his actions. The mere idea of him being self conscious was mind blowing. All Tomoyo could manage was an, "Oh."

"So don't worry. Just let things happen as they may. Syaoran likes you so just have faith in that." Sakura advised wondering how many times she had either been told or told others to have faith. It seemed to be the phrase of the day, or week really.

"You're right, I'm just being silly. Thank you Sakura. You are such a good friend." Tomoyo praised which somehow did not have the effect of lightening Sakura's mood. Would never guess why.

And with that the two girls said good night and hung up. Sakura sighed, no doubt in her mind that she'd probably be having a similar counseling session with Syaoran the next school day. She was just glad she was busy with a Biology project this weekend so she would have an excuse not to face Syaoran until she steadied herself. Being the go-between of the two lovebirds was strenuous. Could they not see how much pain it put her through? But no, for their happiness she would put on a cheery face and urge them to be together. 'What did I do in life to deserve this?' Sakura absently thought as she drifted off to a fitful slumber.

XxXxXxXxXxXx(school)xXxXxXxXxXxX

"So what did I miss?" A brash voice announced her presence to those seated at a cafeteria table.

"Meiling!" Squawked Sakura. "You're back!"

"In the flesh," Meiling teased squeezing in between Sakura and Takashi who currently was orating on the origin of cafeteria mystery meat. Apparently it has been around for eons when Druids used to use it as a scrying device. "Hm, interesting seating arrangement we have going," She murmured.

"Well…yeah…"Syaoran started and then stopped in awkward silence. Usually Syaoran sat next to Sakura and Tomoyo next to Eriol. Meiling noted the blushing mute couple, the withdrawn girl and the boy beside her deep in thought on how to draw her out. 'I leave them for a week and they get themselves into a mess. Figures.' She thought.

"I'm just playin." Meiling said. "Ahhh so good to be free!"

"That's what you get for pants-ing Josh during the assembly. Though I have to admit he deserved a lot worse." Rika commented.

"But a week of lunch duty," Meiling whined. "That was a bit over the top. Ms. Hodds takes discipline to a whole new level. I tell you I've seen things in that kitchen that would make you swear off food for the rest of your life."

"Which would be a very short time considering how we need food to survive." Eriol said making everyone laugh.

"Speaking of sustenance I should go get some. Sakura do you wanna come with me for chips or ice cream?" Meiling asked.

"Nah, I'm good." Sakura declined missing the looks Meiling was trying to send her.

'Oblivious as usual.' "I'm sure there is SOMETHING you need Sakura." Meiling insisted as she pulled a befuddled Sakura away.

"But I don't need any more food," Sakura protested as they moved to the vending machines.

"My cousin's an idiot," Meiling commented as soon as they were out of earshot and began scanning the selection.

"I beg your pardon?" Sakura questioned not sure how to take that statement.

"My cousin is too thick to see what lies in front of him. But that's most males for ya." Meiling then turned back to look at the table. "They're not right together."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked slightly playing dumb. She could get what Meiling was hinting at but was afraid to jump to conclusions.

"Look at them, the energy is all wrong. There is no fire, no depth. Just to let you know, I don't think they will last very long." Meiling asserted.

"SO what if there is no fire," Sakura protested. "Then they have more chance to thrive because there is no threat of being burned. And depth, that can be fixed over time as they learn to trust one another."

"Syaoran trusts you Sakura," She said simply.

Sakura shook her head trying to fight another sprig of hope. 'Why is it whenever I feel like giving up someone tells me to keep fighting?' she thought before saying, "I realize your trying to cheer me up, I don't even know how you know, but Syaoran and Tomoyo like each other. And that's that. Besides Syaoran would never see me that way." And with that Sakura headed back to the table.

Meiling hated having to push Sakura's buttons but she needed to know that as much as she loved Tomoyo, Sakura belonged with Syaoran. Now if only her blasted moronic cousin could open his damn eyes and see that. But Meiling realized Syaoran probably never would until it was too late. 'He'll never realize the value of what he has until it's taken from him. And by then…who knows.' Meiling just prayed that it turned out all right in the end.

XxXxXxX

A/N:Thank you to all who reviewed. Losing over 500 makes you grateful for every kind word.


	8. Learning to Just Flow

Please read the author's note of first chapter and email administration for a better system. Protect your stories.

Disclaimer: Clamp's characters, my story

**Reality's Dream**

**Kimmikat**

**Chapter 7: Learning to Just Flow**

Sakura walked into the training room spotting Syaoran already in the corner stretching, waiting for Sensei Ming to enter for instruction. She joined him on the floor sitting down to a split and leaning over. "Howdy partner," She jokingly acknowledged.

"Well hello there to you too." Syaoran said. "How are you holding up?"

"Fine." Sakura replied trying to figure out the odd expression on Syaoran's face. "What?"

"Well I just thought the locker door might have done more damage than you claimed." He said casually but Sakura didn't miss the mischievous twinkle in his eye.

Sakura growled slightly as she remembered the little hallway incident where she and him were walking down the crowed corridor of school when they turned the corner and she went smack into an open locker door. Luckily Syaoran caught her before she landed flat on her butt, but that didn't stop people from laughing. "Thank you so much for reminding me. Just what I need is for my nose to be rubbed into my flaws."

"I was only concerned for your well being." Syaoran protested but Sakura wasn't buying his innocent routine. "Besides I don't find your lack of coordination to be a flaw, more like an adorable characteristic." Sakura's heart somersaulted. 'He thinks it's adorable!' Her mind exclaimed before quickly pushing away such thoughts.

"Well it wasn't so adorable when Tomoyo rushed me to the nurse's office to make sure I didn't have a concussion." Sakura snorted. "She acted like I'd just been sacked by the star football player or something." Syaoran chuckled slightly before growing more serious.

"Sakura…Thank you for-" Syaoran began before she cut him off.

"Don't worry. You know I would do anything for you." Sakura replied. "You would do the same for me."

Syaoran smiled.

"So how did it go?" Sakura asked casually as she stood up to bend over forward to the floor.

"Amazing and awkward." He admitted truthfully. "Sakura?"

"Hmmmm?"

"How do you know when it is alright to kiss someone?" Sakura nearly fell over at this question. "See I didn't try to kiss Tomoyo at all, though I wanted to so desperately, but I feared she would think I was being to forward."

Sakura struggled to find the right words both due to her lack of experience in this matter and the rampaging emotions swirling inside her screaming for him to notice her. "Well, the simple fact that Tomoyo wanted to go out with you is a good sign that she's interested. But as for timing I wouldn't really know; it's not like I've ever been on a date. I guess just whenever it feels right to you just go for it. It's better to try and fail instead of spending forever wondering." 'If only I would follow my own darn advice,' Sakura bitterly thought.

Syaoran noticed that same look of sorrow streak across her face before it was quickly masked. What pain was she hiding from him? He wanted to help, but if she didn't let him in…what could he do? "Sakura…is something bothering you?"

Sakura found her eyes locked in a powerful stare down as Syaoran's gaze slowly tore away at the walls her secret lay behind. She could feel her resistance crumbling as he reached out and took her hand in his while his warm brown eyes encouraged her. How she wanted to just let it all out, to tell the truth. But the moment was shattered when Sensei Ming marched into the room commanding their attention.

The next hour and a half was spent practicing tai chi. Sakura loved it for its grace and beauty, showing also the hidden strength of the element of water, the trick of learning to just flow.

After thanking Sensei Ming and heading out to Syaoran's car Sakura remembered, "I think I left my cell phone back in the dojo. Be back in a sec."

Sakura dashed inside and found the front room filling with new students for the aikido class. Sneaking through to the back room she found her cell phone half hidden by a mat where she had placed her backpack earlier. Grabbing it she turned to leave only to discover the room occupied by another being.

The guy standing in the door way looked to be about Sakura's age. Tall, dark hair and eyes, slightly on the beefy side. Sakura didn't appreciate his lingering gazes as they hovered at every other place than her face. 'Oh please.' Sakura thought. 'Not another "hey baby" wanna be player or I'll gag.' Her insulting description was not far off track as he slithered up to her.

"Hey sweet thing. I'm Alex. What's your name?" Alex asked giving a little smirk as he ran his hands through his gel slicked hair. 'Gelled hair for aikido practice…need I say more?' the little voice in her head chuckled.

"Not interested." She replied coolly as she stepped to her right to get around him

"Whoa, whoa! Not so fast there," Alex said stepping in front of her path. "No need to run. It's not like I bite…hard." He grinned wickedly as Sakura grimaced. 'Ugh. Somebody call the pound. There's a dog on the loose.' Her mind thought as she once again tried to leave his company.

"Awww come on. I'm just being friendly." Alex commented then reached out and grabbed her arm in a solid grip. "Lighten up."

"Let me go." Sakura commanded while thinking 'Bleck! He's actually touching me. Any one got some Lysol or disinfecting spray?'

No movement was made.

"Are you deaf or just plain ignorant? Now let me go." Sakura quickly thought over which maneuver would best release he from his grasp when an icy voice stopped her.

"She said to let her go."

In the doorway stood Syaoran his eyes hard and pointed, filled with a deep anger at the slime touching Sakura. Alex quickly looked from Syaoran's menacing glare to his hand releasing Sakura as if he hadn't known what his hand had been doing.

"Sorry man. Didn't know she was yours." Alex amended as he practically raced through the room, squeezing by Syaoran.

Sakura would have laughed at the sight but instead reprimanded Syaoran. "I could have handled that you know. We haven't been taking martial arts for years just so I can play the damsel in distress."

"But you know how I love to play the knight in shining armor. You wouldn't deprive me of that simple joy now would you?" Syaoran pleaded pouting his lips and giving the puppy eyes.

Sakura laughed, "One day this rescuing complex you have will get you into trouble."

"Ah, but I only protect you and considering how many messes you find yourself in, I think my services will always be required." Syaoran said.

The two headed back to the car. But this recent incident had sparked a memory in Sakura.

It was freshman year of high school and a senior had begun to show particular interest in her, following her around, flirting, the usual. One day it all stopped and she discovered it was because Syaoran had scared him away. To this day Sakura still did not know exactly what Syaoran had done or said to scare the senior away but it must have been quite effective for not only did the senior avoid her but almost no other boy at school had dared to approach Sakura in more than a "just friends" manner.

Sakura had nearly died of joy when she had found this information out. Surely it meant that Syaoran had some romantic feelings toward her if he didn't want her to be with other guys right?...Wrong. Sakura remembered how her heart had deflated when she overheard an interesting conversation between Syaoran and Eriol.

XxXxXxXxXxXx(flashback)xXxXxXxXxXxX

"Did you see him trip on his own two feet when trying to get away from you?" Eriol laughed at the priceless image of the big tough senior fleeing from a freshman and falling flat on the pavement in the process.

"Well at least he listens. He won't bother Sakura anymore." Syaoran stated proudly.

Eriol paused a moment trying to find the right way to broach this subject. "Syaoran…you seem a little, well, gung-ho about keeping him from Sakura. He just wanted to go out with her."

"The guy's an ass." Syaoran said as if that explained everything.

"Still are you sure there aren't any other motivations behind your reason to keep away guys from Sakura. " Syaoran looked at him, confusion etched on his face. "Maybe, just maybe you wanted to keep the pathway clear… for yourself." Eriol suggested.

"Come on man. She's my best friend. We talk and hang out. It's nothing like that." Syaoran said with a shake of his head.

"Still you're very zealous about guys not being with Sakura. Remember how you warned me about messing around with her before you introduced us. I seriously thought you had a thing for her." Eriol persisted.

"She's like a little sister to me. She's so naïve to the world, always trusting everyone. I'm just looking out for her to make sure she just doesn't get hurt." Syaoran affirmed.

"So you're saying that Sakura, the girl who knows you through and through, whom you've said you would trust with your life is one you have absolutely no interest in?" Eriol inquired as if trying to make Syaoran see what he was really saying.

"None." Syaoran clarified. "Now come on. Let's go eat. I'm starving."

Unbeknownst to either Syaoran or Sakura, Eriol at that moment was shaking his head thinking what a fool Syaoran was and wondering when the day would come when Syaoran would eat his own words. Who would have guessed it would be years away and require a little push from Eriol himself.

XxXxXxXxXxXx(Present)xXxXxXxXxXxX

Sakura gave a silent chuckle at how she had continued to hope that one day Syaoran would see she had grown up, was no longer that innocent child he pictured her as. 'One day' her mind harrumphed. 'That damned 'one day' never seems to arrive and maybe it never will.'

She brought her focus back to the car and realized they were stopped once again at that eternal signal. She looked at the street sign realizing that in all the years she had driven by, not once had she glanced at its name.

"Dream," Sakura read out loud. 'Huh. Odd name.'

"What did you say?" Syaoran asked.

"Dream," Sakura said a little louder. "The name of the street," And she pointed to the hanging blue sign with its bright white writing.

"Odd name," He replied.

"Thought that too," Sakura replied giggling.

"Never noticed it before." His mouth tugged a little at the side, "Funny how you can miss things until you take the time to actually see it."

"Listen Sakura," Syaoran started again as the signal turned green allowing them to pass. "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind…well…going on another date…with me and Tomoyo?"

'I can never escape it can I?' Sakura thought. "You know a date is supposed to be this romantic nice couple thing. Not to be bombarded by two crashing friends." Sakura said, the excuse flying from her mouth with it the hope that she could run from the suffering of watching her love swoon over another.

But that hope was not answered. "Please Sakura," Syaoran asked his eyes pleading. "I need you. I feel so much more confident when you're around. And you're so good at breaking those nervous silences."

Sakura was deeply moved by his words. She always felt fluttery when he spoke of how much she helped him. "Alright. I'll go. Just tell me when and where." Syaoran flashed her an appreciative smile as they continued their way to the Kinomoto household for dinner. All the while Sakura kept wondering yet again 'Why me?'

XxXxXxX

A/N Thank you to all who reviewed, it makes me smile. I would write more personal responses but not knowing if that's what got me deleted I'm hesitant to write more than a few sentences total. I love hearing what you have to say though.


	9. Breaking Hope

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 8: Breaking Hope**

Sakura sat down at the lunch table looking rather unenthusiastic about the meal situated before her. There had been a little mix up at home leaving her with out a lunch. To sate her growling stomach she had resorted to cafeteria grub. The meatballs were known as bouncy balls for their rubbery consistency. They were actually quite fun to pelt at unsuspecting people but were rather difficult to digest. The mashed potatoes were a liquidy pile of powder and water that looked like something a baby had once eaten and decided to give back. And the gravy? Let's not even go there for talking about it might make it angry. 'And they wonder why no one eats this stuff.' Sakura harrumphed. The safest option was the green beans that came straight from the can. Unfortunately a rumor had been going round how the school had had their canned food around for so long that some could even date back to the early fifties. Highly improbably yes, but with canned goods you can never be so sure. Sakura hesitantly lifted a spoonful of the supposedly edible material when a peanut butter and jelly sandwich popped into her view.

"A lady should never be forced to ingest such atrocities." A voice teased.

Sakura looked up to her blue eyed friend in gratitude, "Thanks Eriol. You're a lifesaver. Who knows how many kids have died from dreaded cafeteria food." She pretended to shiver at the thought as he sat down beside her.

"So 8 o'clock tonight right?" Eriol asked as Sakura chomped away at her treasured sustenance.

"Actually we are off the hook." Sakura replied her voice seemingly neutral. For the past few weeks Sakura had been strung along on a number of dates from miniature golfing to bowling to skating. 'I don't know how I would have survived without Eriol,' she absently thought. But finally today Syaoran was going out on his own, so to speak, considering Tomoyo would be with him. 'When it comes to feelings that boy has no backbone.' But she didn't blame him that much. She knew he had trouble letting people in or expressing what he felt and she knew it scared him shitless.

"What'll you be doing with your new found freedom," Eriol inquired.

"Dunno. Maybe read a book, watch a movie, take a bubble bath." Sakura shrugged indifference.

"Well a lady should never be alone on a Friday evening." Eriol stated sounding like some royal proclaiming the law of the land.

"Is that so?" Sakura played along.

"Why yes it is."

"Well do you then have a solution to this conundrum?" Sakura shot back.

"As a matter in fact I do." Eriol grinned. "How about we hang out for a while? Maybe watch movies at my house? Plus I have plenty of sugar stashed about to satisfy a sugar fiend like yourself."

"That sounds wonderful." Sakura exclaimed. 'Anything to keep me from moping around like a love sick puppy dog gets my vote.'

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Eeeeeeeekkkkkkk!" A shrill squeak pierced the air followed by a hearty rumble of laughter.

"Sakura," Eriol teased the terrified girl. "She was only trying to get his attention." At the moment they were watching the Sixth Sense, not a really scary movie but the presence of ghosts sent Sakura into a tizzy. She and Eriol were sprawled a couch in Eriol's house with Sakura clinging on to him for dear life. Eriol placed his arm around her rubbing his hand up and down her back soothingly.

"Well excuse me," She bit back sassily. "I don't care what her intentions are. I would not want some ghost grabbing at my legs from under a bed."

"You wouldn't want a ghost to do anything." He chuckled again.

"Quite right." Sakura stated trying to act brave but her voice still sounded like that of a frightened five year old as she snuggled closer to Eriol.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Excellent choice sir," The waiter commented to Syaoran before flipping his notebook shut and heading to the kitchen.

Syaoran looked up at the beautiful girl across from him still in a slight daze that she would ever consider going out with the likes of him.

"You know I'm a bit surprised that Sakura and Eriol haven't magically popped up by now," Tomoyo murmured casually but there was a knowing twinkle in her eye.

Syaoran blushed a little giving a slight chuckle, "Heh, figured me out…"

"I actually found it rather sweet." Tomoyo said making Syaoran brighten. 'Hell yea! More points for me!' as she reached across the table placing her hand on his, slowly lacing their fingers.

Tomoyo swept her gaze around the restaurant for the millionth time since she got here. "This place is amazing Syaoran. Look at all those chandeliers and the candles." She gave a little sigh of contentment.

"Well if you like this you are going to love next week." Syaoran stated while Tomoyo gave him a bemused look. "My mother is funding another dig for Fujitaka Kinomoto so she is throwing a celebration for it as usual." It had always been a tradition that whenever the Lis and Kinomotos partnered up on a project, right before its beginning, they would celebrate by having a gala of sorts. "And," Syaoran paused for dramatic effect, "It's going to be a masquerade ball."

Tomoyo squealed with delight. She had been to a few of the celebrations here and there but this would be different, she was actually going with a Li. "Oh this is so exciting. I'll have to think up a costume soon so I have enough time to make it. Oh and one for Sakura too, though I'll have to check with whoever her date will be since it won't be you for once…" Tomoyo kept rambling on into eternity but Syaoran absorbed none of it his mind only focusing on one thing…He wouldn't be taking Sakura. That had been part of the tradition. Every celebration they went together, always. But back then he'd never had a girlfriend to take. Syaoran sighed. He couldn't very well just tell Tomoyo to go alone so he could take his best friend. He'd have to think of something. 'I'll call her tonight and we can figure it out.' And with that he tried to bring his focus back to his date.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Eriol looked up to find a snowy TV screen, its surface flashing jagged lines of gray and white. 'Must have fallen asleep' Eriol thought his mind a little foggy over what had led him to be here. He made a move to get up when he realized there was a presence blocking him. Eriol saw he was laying across his couch with Sakura curled up alongside him, his arm wrapped securely about her waist. 'She looks so peaceful asleep, like a beautiful angel.' Eriol felt his cheeks warm at that. Recently his thoughts about Sakura had been bordering beyond friendship but he pushed them aside knowing Sakura had eyes only for one guy, and it wasn't him. Feeling sleep pull at him to return Eriol settled back in resting his head by Sakura's.

**Doo**** Dee Doo Dii**

'The hell?' Eriol was snapped from near slumber with any annoying electronic sound. He looked at the table nearby and saw it was Sakura's cell phone. "Sakura?" Eriol whispered shaking her gently but found no response. He tried once more only she rolled over facing him and wrapping her arms about his waist snuggled in closer causing his cheeks to flare up. Eriol wasn't quite sure what to do and the insistent ringing of her phone wasn't helping to clear his panicked thoughts. Stretching as far as he could Eriol managed to get a grasp on the cell phone and then worked on disentangling himself from the snoozing girl.

"Hello?" Eriol asked into the phone his voice a little shaky as Sakura still had a firm grasp on him. 'Damn she must work out or something.'

"Sa-Hello? Who is this? Where is Sakura?" The voice on the other end growled in a familiar way.

"Well hello there to you too, Syaoran. Can't even recognize your own buddy, I'm hurt." Eriol exaggerated.

"Eriol shut up." Syaoran snapped. He wasn't sure why but he all of a sudden was not in the mood for joking around. "Where's Sakura?"

"Oh she's a little detained at the moment. She's sleeping. I tried to wake her up but..." Eriol started.

"You'll never get her up. Once she's asleep not even a nuclear bomb will wake her." Syaoran chuckled slightly knowing how difficult his friend could be.

"Yeah she must have really worn herself out from all the screaming." Eriol said.

"Excuse me, screaming?" Syaoran demanded a meaning.

"Yeah we were watching movies at my house and she got just a little frightened. Does she work out cause she has a grip that could kill." Eriol laughed a little while Syaoran gritted his teeth.

"Well it's getting late. You better call her house or her brother will have a heart attack." Syaoran advised deciding to just talk to Sakura another time.

"Alright. Should I tell her you called?" Eriol asked.

"Nah. I'll just try again later." And with that Syaoran hung up.

As Eriol worked on getting in touch with the Kinomoto household Syaoran paced his room. His stomach was tensed as if anticipating a blow and he felt like he was on edge like preparing fro the storm to hit. 'What am I getting so worked up about? Two of my friends hanging out I, should be happy.' But something was nagging him. He growled slightly remembering Eriol's comments over the choice in movies. Syaoran was supposed to be the one Sakura watched scary movies with; he was the one to protect her. He shook his head and flung himself on his bed hoping sleep would remedy this aggravation.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Sakura lay on her bed fighting with all her might not let the burning tears leave her eyes, but it was a losing battle. Her heart throbbed; each beat was like a dagger of ice being stabbed through her chest. Her body convulsed with a sob that she tried to muffle with a pillow. The anguish rose up inside her like a volcano exploding. Everything she had been hiding deep inside rushed to the surface. Her mind and heart crying out for a reason. A reason why this would happen. A reason why she loved him. A reason for the pain. And most of all a reason to keep holding on. 'I can't keep doing this,' she weakly thought. 'I can't take watching and hurting and wanting and crying…But what do I do?' The confusion and anger and hurt pulled at her trying to drag her asunder, to tear her apart

Sakura reached out for her phone dialing with heavy hands her friend's number.

"Hello." A calm male voice answered.

"Eriol?" Her slightly muffled voice came through, a bit broken by the sobs.

"Sakura?" Eriol asked seeming a bit surprised. "What's wrong?"

Sakura then revealed what had happened not long ago. Syaoran had told her he was taking Tomoyo to the masquerade. Years of friendship pushed aside for his girlfriend. Sakura felt replaced in his life, she no longer was needed and that squashed any remaining hope she carried inside her. But what could she possibly do? She was too lost in shock and pain, she needed someone to help her. So she turned to Eriol.

"What should I do?" Sakura asked her voice a little clearer now that most of the tears had ceased flowing.

Eriol was silent for a moment, thinking, before finally responding. "I can come up with three possible options for what you could do. The first is you could continue on as you have hoping for Syaoran to change. But as you are sounding currently that one seems rather fool hardy. The second is for you to try and make Syaoran see, to steal him away from Tomoyo." Sakura opened her mouth in protest but was cut off. "But I know you would never even consider doing that to Tomoyo so that option also seems out of the question."

"So what's the last option?"

"Well that one is the simplest and probably the hardest all at the same time. It's for you to move on." Eriol suggested gently.

Sakura was silent. Could she actually move on? Could she learn to get past her love for Syaoran, to accept that they only had a friendship? Could she just give up everything she had hoped for for so long?

The emptiness inside made up her decision for her. "I'll try." Her voice caught in her throat for a moment. "I'll try to get over Syaoran Li."

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a/n: Thank you to all who reviewed, it makes me smile. Q, I never once broke that twice stated rule. Every entry was a full chapter. And yes this is a democracy, a democracy of rules. And the wonderful thing about democracies is the ability to amend. Amendments for the rules. There is always room for improvement. It's clear either most of us are wrong using small a/n's at ends of chapters or people are getting wrongly deleted, either situation is a problem that I hope to bring to attention. No offense of course to your opinion. P.S. I think you should be a lawyer, you argue quite thoroughly if without empathy.


	10. Ethereal Angel

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 9: Ethereal Angel**

"Tomoyo, put the pencil down." Sakura whimpered slowly backing away from the advancing Tomoyo wielding an eyeliner pencil. "I'll be wearing a mask. I don't need make UP!" Sakura had backed up into the chair resting in front of the vanity.

Tomoyo saw her opportunity and took it. She pushed Sakura into the chair, whipping her face upwards and beginning to draw away as Sakura flinched. "You keep moving your face and I'll really make you look like an Egyptian." Tomoyo threatened and Sakura ceded, ceasing her movements for fear of big lines across her eyes.

As Tomoyo worked her makeup magic the rest of the Li household was scurrying about making sure all was set and the first guests began to arrive. Both girls went to the Li house to get ready early for the celebration. Sakura had unsuccessfully tried to convince Tomoyo that make up was unnecessary but as usual when it came to anything to do with clothing or fashion Tomoyo won that battle.

"There." Tomoyo stated her amethyst eyes scanning critically for anything else left out. "Hmmm and the most important touch…Lip gloss!"

Truthfully Sakura loved the gooey substance. It was the only makeup she could handle. It was smooth and slick. It could smell like anything from bubble gum to chocolate to even floral scents. It came in all colors, some with shimmer or even glitter. Who could not love such variety? Sakura rubbed her lips against each other enjoying the slippery slide that occurred.

"Alright now don't look in the mirror just yet until you put your costume on" Tomoyo directed Sakura over to the material draped on the bed. Undoing her robe, she then slipped the garment on careful of course not to smudge the makeup or ruffle the hair. 'Tomoyo would kill me,' Sakura giggled at the thought.

"Something funny?" Tomoyo inquired. She was busy adjusting the purple velvet dress with gold embroidery. It was a design from the medieval ages, rather pretty too but Sakura had to suppress a giggle at the sight of the pointy hat resting atop her friend's head with the flowing cream gauze trailing down behind. It just brought back so many kid memories of playing princess with the hats and the elastic chin strings that would leave red marks when she wore them too long.

"Yeah, yeah I know." Tomoyo said catching her eyes and knowing what Sakura was remembering. "Lady Yolane at your service." And with that Tomoyo made an over exaggerated curtsy. The two girls giggled.

It was then that Sakura realized how long it had been since the two of them had moments like these, fun and carefree. Since she and Syaoran had started going out, maybe even before that. But her decision to give up her love had this freeing effect. Yes it still hurt but the hope of being eventually free of that pain gave her the strength to try.

"Enough gawking." Tomoyo chided. Sakura had gone staring off into space with her thoughts and was shaken out of them by the tugging of her friend. "Time to see yourself."

Sakura gave a small smile to her friend before facing her reflection in the full length mirror. What lay before her eyes was beyond belief. 'That's me?' In the cool glass stood a girl draped in white, the smooth material was embracing the figure closely until releasing slightly below the chest, flowing in folds to the floor. The rise and fall from her breathing was highlighted by the semi-low cut square neckline of the sleeveless dress. Sakura was even more amazed by Tomoyo's artistry. There were silvery white wings that branched out from her back, looking so delicate that the slightest breeze could knock all the feathers down. Sakura's gaze finally traveled up to her face that seemed to be light by a hidden candle, her skin glowing from an internal source. "Tomoyo…this is…amazing." Sakura said, lost for words to describe the awe and gratitude she felt.

The two embraced, mindful of the wings of course. "You're welcome Sakura. You know I would do anything for you. Besides since you have a date I figured it would do well to show you off." Tomoyo giggled.

"It's not a date." Sakura protested.

"Of course it isn't." Tomoyo pretended to agree. "Then why won't you say who it is?"

"Because I knew you would make a big deal of it." Sakura said knowing fully well that Tomoyo could get a little crazy when it came to two things, fashion and love. This night technically had both since Tomoyo considered Sakura's mystery man to have some sort of romantic involvement.

Before Tomoyo could prod further she glanced at the clock and gave out a slight squeak of shock. "Oh I promised Syaoran to meet him downstairs ten minutes ago." She headed to the door but noticed Sakura wasn't following. "You coming?"

"Oh I'll be there in a few. You go on ahead." Sakura answered and Tomoyo nodded and departed. She wanted to gather her strength before facing Syaoran. Each day since her resolution had been a struggle, and she could tell it had been a strain on their friendship. Sakura just hoped it would all turn out alright in the end.

Sakura jumped at the sound of someone knocking at the door.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Syaoran!"

Syaoran turned at his name to find his girlfriend approaching him. "Tomoyo. You look beautiful as always." They linked arms, exchanging a quick kiss. After parting he realized something was missing. "Where's Sakura at? I thought she was with you."

"Oh she should be here any moment." Tomoyo answered. "You look quite dashing my charming knight."

Syaoran made a face. He was in a faux chain mail shirt with silver shoulder pad like things that were to be some kind of mini armor. His eyes hid behind a similar styled silver mask. 'I feel like an idiot.' But Syaoran had agreed to let Tomoyo make their costumes and so he obligingly wore this…outfit.

The next few minutes were spent chatting with guests, which truthfully Syaoran found to be rather uninteresting. He was so used to having Sakura with him cracking jokes under her breath. Or the two of them would spend time making up what the secret lives of these people were. Like the famous banker Mr. Elvis Duman who was as dry as parchment but was really an ex-porn star who lived at home with his wife and a life partner plus twenty or so Siamese cats, many of whom had won blue ribbons. 'Maybe I can find a new one and then point them out to Sakura later,' Syaoran idly thought.

His searching gaze was brought to a crashing halt when his eyes were caught by…well an angel, literally. Syaoran felt all his breath rush out at the sight of the beautiful woman in white. 'She's… stunning.' Syaoran thought unable to produce sufficient words to describe the sight in front of him. The woman floated with an ethereal grace. Her face was hidden behind a white mask but he could still see her glowing creamy skin contrasting with the flowing gown that emphasized soft curves. The angel had her face turned away from Syaoran, pointed at the man she was being escorted by. The couple was drawing nearer and Syaoran thought there was something familiar about the gorgeous woman approaching, her golden hair shimmering in the chandelier light.

Her head slowly began to turn his way. Syaoran felt his heart pound in his chest as in anticipation, but what was he expecting?

Syaoran's warm amber eyes met with those oh so familiar vibrant emerald eyes of his best friend Sakura Kinomoto.

'Sakura?'

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed.


	11. An Angel and a Knight

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 10: An Angel and a Knight**

Syaoran stood there rooted to the floor in shock. 'When did Sakura….How did….' His mind rambled incoherently still trying to determine how this stunning person mere feet away was his childhood best friend. It was like he'd been thrown into an alternate universe. For once Sakura was not his date and then to show up like…like…that.

"Oh there's Sakura!" Tomoyo squealed and pointed interrupting his muddled thoughts. "Doesn't she look amazing?"

"Breathtaking." Syaoran stated simply and truthfully. He didn't understand the clenching in his chest that was making it difficult for him to breathe.

"And look she's with Eriol. Let's go say hi." And without any response from her date Tomoyo dragged Syaoran over to the group that was surrounding their two friends, the auburn haired angel and the dark haired boy fitted in a tux.

"James Bond?" Meiling asked while adjusting the vibrant red sequin horns to her devil costume.

"Frank Sinatra?" A girl questioned who resembled Chiharu but it was difficult to tell through the wig done up like cinnamon rolls and the flowing robes. Sakura was surprised Chiharu could even hear the conversation through though gigantic mounds of hair covering her ears.

"Tuxedo Mask?" The fairy godmother also known as Rika piped up.

"The Penguin?" The walking carpet questioned. Several people turned and gave the beast queer looks. Apparently Takashi had had a little costume blunder, for when Chiharu suggested a Star Wars theme, Chewbacca was probably not what she had in mind.

"An English gentleman?" The zoot-suiter with a red sequined bow tie on beside Meiling suggested, and by the way they were holding hands it was clear that it wasn't for the buddy system.

"What exactly are you guys talking about?" Tomoyo inquired.

"We are trying to figure out what Eriol is dressed up as." Meilin answered before twirling to Eriol demanding, "Now come on Eriol spill, what in the world are you supposed to be?"

Eriol smirked a little before saying one little sentence. "I'm supposed to be her date." As if that explained it all.

The group struggled not to fall. "What kind of a costume is that?" Meilin wailed.

"Actually I think it's brilliant…" Syaoran began but was silenced by the fiery glares of both his ruby eyed cousin and his raven haired date, both of whom had painstakingly made sure that they and their own escorts were in matching attire. Syaoran just sighed, that was exactly why he was wearing this silly get up in the first place.

But despite his supportive words, Syaoran could not help the uneasy feeling that began to bubble in his stomach. Why did the idea of Eriol dressing as Sakura's date make him feel like reaching for the Tums?

The orchestra that had been spending the last few minutes tuning now deemed itself ready to play opening with a fast paced waltz.

"Would the heavenly angel bless me with a dance?" Eriol asked with a small bow, bringing forth a tinkling laughter from the girl beside him who graciously accepted. The two were joined by many other couples onto the polish marble floor looking straight out of a movie, a movie that the rest stood watching.

"Don't they look so adorable together?" Tomoyo gushed while Syaoran merely fidgeted.

Meiling noticed her cousin's strange behavior deciding to join in. "Yeah, they look really happy dancing…together." This statement was once again seemingly ignored as Syaoran shuffled his feet and averted his gaze from the dancing couple.

"Wouldn't it be great if Sakura and Eriol started to really go out? I think they would be perfect together." Tomoyo said all starry eyed at the mere idea.

This got Syaoran's attention real quick as he could no longer ignore the tiny stabs he kept feeling from Meiling's and Tomoyo's words. "No they wouldn't." Syaoran wasn't even sure why he said what he did, but something was compelling him to.

Tomoyo was shaken from her reverie trying to understand Syaoran's hard but seemingly dispassionate words. Meiling merely raised an eyebrow, melting from the conversation to become an observer.

"Why wouldn't they be? They're good friends. And look at how he can make her smile. Sakura has been down for some reason recently and she deserves to be happy." Tomoyo said trying to understand what was so wrong with the idea.

'She's right.' Syaoran thought, but his rational mind still wasn't able to sooth the restlessness in his gut that was screaming that something wasn't right. The mere suggestion of Sakura and Eriol did weird things to his body from chilling his veins to causing a heaviness to pour into his chest. "I don't know. Maybe it's just the idea of my two best friends going out that just seems a little funky. It's just…weird," Syaoran tried to rationalize. 'Yeah it's just the friend thing.'

"Well we are Sakura's best friends and we're going out. She seems to be fine with it." Tomoyo said her violet eyes searching for any explanation until a memory sparked. "Look," She started softly placing her hand on his arm. "I know you're very protective of Sakura; you care about her. We all do. But don't you think it's time to let her fend for herself? You won't always be there to protect her." She paused trying to think of another way to convince him, to calm his fears. "And you have to admit that Eriol is a good guy. Wouldn't you rather her first experience with guys be with a good one rather than a jerk?"

'Once again she's right.' Syaoran thought. 'So why the hell do I still feel like this? Why do I want to go punch a wall or tear something up?' Syaoran was like a hot air balloon filled until ready to burst. He was antsy with this pent up uneasiness that made no sense. This whole night was just confusing the crap out of him. Little did he know it was only going to get more troublesome.

"Come on let's dance." Tomoyo suggested trying to get Syaoran in a better mood. He conceded and as they went to the dance floor Meiling slipped through various guests weaving her way toward her aunt and other cousins with a mischievous grin on her face.

"Auntie Yelan." Meiling called out pulling the "family" aside for a moment. "It appears that something you have been hoping for has begun to happen."

The elegant woman was a little perplexed but had a vague clue about what the younger girl was hinting at. "What exactly are you trying to say Meiling?"

"Just make sure to keep with tradition and at midnight be sure to watch a special couple. I think you'll understand." Meiling flashed another devious smile as she saw the knowing looks cross Syaoran's mother and sister's faces.

"No wonder she's dressed as a devil." Fuutie murmured as they watched her walk back to her date. The others nodded their agreement.

The masquerade continued on through the evening until it began close to midnight signaling the finish of the celebration.

A gentle tinkling was heard over the crowd as the orchestra halted its playing. The guests turned to find the source of the sound to discover the hostess by the orchestra, champagne glass in hand. "I first would like to thank all of you for joining us this lovely evening. It is a wonderful to celebrate a partnership as well as a memorable way to send off a dear friend. I would like to wish Fujitaka luck in his Peruvian expedition." With that Yelan titled her glass in Sakura's father's direction who was currently dressed as Emeril Lagase, big white chef's hat and all. Next to him was a grumbling Toya also in a tux claiming to be a 'man of mystery,' while thinking of the many escape routes he knew existed. "And so to conclude this gathering I would like to continue another tradition. At the end of every celebration the youngest Li child dances with the youngest Kinomoto child. So Syaoran, Sakura, if would please lead us on the dance floor."

Syaoran suddenly felt his heart race, his head swimming with a million panicky thoughts, and all the while he tried to figure out why. Why was he nervous? He'd danced with Sakura hundreds of times over so what was so different about now? Syaoran stood in the middle of the floor able to see his warbly reflection in the black and white marble below his feet. He again felt that hitch in his throat as Sakura appeared through the crowd.

Sakura slowly walked toward her friend smiling. It had been a wonderful evening full of laughter and dancing. Everyone was friendly and in a good mood. But oddly enough she had rarely seen her friend that night and was now very glad to have this moment to dance with him. 'We may not have gone together but at least we have this.' Eriol had successfully kept her distracted but now that she was her…facing him she couldn't help the ache that still throbbed in her chest. She loved the way he looked. His rich chestnut hair contrasting with the silver of his "armor," the strength in his build and the way he carried himself so tall but not over proud. Most of all she loved the amber eyes that burned behind the silver mask. Even after her decision to give him up, she still couldn't be free of the hold he had on her. 'Maybe in time.'

Syaoran looked down at the beautiful angel whose twinkling green eyes never failed to make him smile. Sakura was good at that, cheering him up. But right now her presence did more then that. Syaoran felt awkward, unsure of where to place his hands, unsure of how to act, unsure of everything he thought he knew when it came to Sakura. With slightly trembling motions he gently placed his hand under one arm and then clasped her hand in the other before starting a familiar waltz.

'Her hand feels so small in mine. Delicate…And soft.' Syaoran thoughts roamed as he looked about the room, avoiding her eyes. 'I wonder if her skin is this soft everywhere.' Syaoran nearly slapped himself. 'What am I thinking? This is Sakura we're talking about……….Wonder how it feel to have those soft hands touch me.' 'STOP IT!' He mentally commanded his mind to desist with these disturbing thoughts while he felt his cheeks redden and burn with a fiery blush.

Little did Syaoran know was that at the present time his family was watching and relishing in his struggles.

"Well it looks like little brother is finally starting to realize that Sakura is a girl. And an attractive one at that." Fan Ren commented. "Look at the way he is blushing." The sisters giggled.

"And watch his dancing closely." Fuutie interjected. "His focus is completely gone. He's a nervous wreck." Nobody in the crowd really noticed that Syaoran's dancing wasn't up to par for it was still really good. But for all that knew him, they could see the slight hesitation in his movements and the indecisiveness of thought. His family was not the only one to notice this.

"Syaoran?" Sakura asked, her voice concerned. "Is everything alright?" She was worried that something was wrong. She felt how he was shaky as a lead. She saw the sort of dazed confusion that swirled in his eyes.

Syaoran was snapped out of his thoughts and then he made the mistake of looking directly into her wide, innocent eyes. Their gazes locked and again they felt the pressure build. Both felt the quickening of their heart beats. The fluttering in their stomachs. Syaoran wondered if someone had slipped him some champagne for that was the only reason he could think of that explained the bubbly feeling and the light headed daze he was in.

The music ended.

And the moment was gone.

The two friends stood, angel facing knight, unsure of what was going on with each other and themselves. Something was different but before they could work at it a princess and suave tux boy appeared from the side lines to bid fare well, separating Sakura and Syaoran.

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A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed. To those wondering, this story has a mind of its own, its chosen its path and I can only sit back and let it run its course.


	12. Rationalizations and Explanations Abound

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 11: Rationalizations and Explanations**

**Thump Bump Boom Bang**

'The hell?' Syaoran wondered. The sounds seemed to be coming from Sakura's room next door. "What is she doing?' He thought as he got off his bed to investigate the odd noises. The ball had concluded not too long ago leaving the Li family plus Sakura to retire.

Syaoran peeked through the open door to find clothes everywhere. It looked like a tornado had ripped through the closet and drawers flinging clothes all over the place. "Sakura?" He called out uncertainly, not seeing his friend anywhere.

A small head popped out of the closet. "Oh, hey Syaoran." She stepped into the room trying to look like nothing was going on.

"What are you doing?" He asked, eyebrows raised, walking closer to inspect.

"Um, heh, I was looking for my pajama top." Sakura explained sheepishly. But Syaoran only got more confused. There she was standing in front of him wearing purple Tweety pants and a lavender tank top yet she was looking for her shirt. It made no sense to him.

"You mean the one you're wearing?" Syaoran teased.

"No silly. I mean the over top. It's the same pattern as my pants and it's long sleeved with buttons. And I know it is hiding somewhere in here." Sakura stated. "Since you are here, help me look."

Obligingly Syaoran began to wander the room sifting through the piles. After a few moments he turned back to ask Sakura if the top was really that necessary and found his train of thought derailed at the sight of her bending over. 'Wow that top really emphasizes her…NO! Stop thinking like that!' Syaoran shook his head and turned away but that didn't get rid of the slight fluster in his chest. He'd been having way too many of those kind of thoughts that night for his comfort. 'This is Sakura we're talking bout. She's like family.' Syaoran tried to protest but a little voice whispered that that excuse was no longer valid.

Syaoran could not resist taking another peek almost hoping that these thoughts were just some kind of fluke. But yet again he found himself staring and he could feel his temperature rise with interesting images and ideas.

"Syaoran you're hot!" Sakura exclaimed.

'What? Sakura thinks I'm hot! I…She..Ohhhhh.' Syaoran was so caught up in his inner battle that he didn't notice that Sakura had stopped searching and had approached him looking concerned and had placed her hand on his forehead.

"Are you feeling okay? Are you getting sick?" Sakura questioned her eyes searching him for any other signs of illness while he mentally scolded himself for thinking that Sakura was talking about his looks. And mostly chiding himself for the happiness he had felt thinking she had found him to be attractive.

Syaoran cleared his throat trying to ignore feelings that Sakura's hands on his face aroused in him. "No I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

"No you are burning up. Come here." Sakura began to push him until he made it to the bed where she made him lie down.

'Danger. Danger Will Robinson.' Him…in Sakura's bed…Syaoran just gulped hoping that no other incidents would lead him astray from the 'Sakura is family' path.

"Now stay here. I'm gonna go get a wet washcloth." Sakura said as she headed to the bathroom leaving behind her troubled friend.

'What's with me?' Syaoran demanded an answer from himself but found the answer to be unsettling. All indications were pointing to…….attraction. He was finding himself turned on by his best friend! There had to be some mistake, a hormonal glitch. But he couldn't deny that he felt drawn towards her. 'So I'm attracted to her. But that's it right? Yeah, yeah it's just attraction and nothing more. It's just physical. It'll pass.' Syaoran rationalized. 'Besides I'm with Tomoyo.' And with that he put the matter to rest.

"Here we are." Sakura said as she entered her room ready to take care of her friend.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Syaoran buttoned up his shirt absently. He was restless and needed to escape for a while. The time was approaching. How he hated this month. Luckily he was getting ready for another date with Tomoyo so he could get out of the house and get his mind off of…

**Ring Ring**

Syaoran went to his bedside table and picked up the phone. "Hello?" He asked his voice drab.

"Hey sweetie…Is everything alright?" She asked her voice filled with concern.

"Yeah everything is fine." Syaoran lied.

"You sure?" Tomoyo questioned.

Syaoran paused tempted to tell her but he just couldn't bring himself to say the words. "Yes, don't worry about it. So why are you calling? Anything wrong?" Syaoran swiftly switched the focus of the conversation.

"Actually there kinda is. I was wondering if we could reschedule our date. My grandparents decided to drop by unannounced and my mom wants us to spend some 'quality family time.' I'm so sorry." Tomoyo explained.

"No it's alright. I understand. Family is important." Syaoran reassured.

After their good byes Syaoran just sat down on his bed. What was he going to do? He didn't want to be home and he definitely did not want to be alone. Instinctively he picked up the phone and dialed Sakura's number. It took quite a few rings before the other end even picked up.

Syaoran could hear laughter and Sakura squealing. "Hello?" He asked, a little unsure.

"Hey! Stop that!" He heard her giggling protest. "I'm trying to answer the phone….Hello?"

"Hey."

"Syaoran. What's up?" Sakura asked her voice light with happiness.

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to hang out." Syaoran suggested but was curious at what was going on at the Kinomoto house.

"Today? But don't you have a date with Tomoyo?" Sakura responded.

"She canceled." His voice not sounding as cheerful as she had been feeling.

"Oh I'm sorry." Sakura then realized what was approaching. 'He shouldn't be alone,' she thought. 'But what about…' "Do you mind if Syaoran joins us? Oh tough guy huh? Take that!" Sakura asked to whoever was with her while flinging a few pieces of grated cheese in response to a small barrage of water.

"Who are you talking to?" Syaoran questioned.

"Eriol. Do you wanna come join us? We're making dinner. Or at least trying to but someone over here keeps throwing things at me." Sakura paused a moment to stick her tongue out at the gloating person in front of her, threatening to launch a cherry tomato that belonged to the salad. She did not notice the silence on the end of the line.

Syaoran simply felt astounded. 'She's with him.' Syaoran's stomach tightened and he felt his body tense. The idea of Eriol being around Sakura when outside of school was not a comforting one. He had wanted to be with Sakura, talk to her. She always understood him and could help him. But with Eriol there…. "No it's okay. I'll just see you around."

"Are you sure? It could be fun." Sakura tried to convince him.

"Don't worry. I can entertain myself. Have a good night."

"You too." Sakura concluded. As she hung up the phone she wondered what had caused Syaoran to change his mind. It's not like he and Eriol weren't friends or something.

Eriol walked up to her leaning on the kitchen counter. "So is he coming?"

"No." Sakura responded offhandedly still trying to figure out what has gotten into her best friend.

"Well then you know what that means don't you?" Eriol asked innocently. Sakura looked up to see his vibrant blue eyes twinkling mischievously. 'Uh-oh.'

"And what would that be?" Sakura questioned as she slightly moved backward.

"It means I get to torture you all by myself." Eriol devilishly grinned. "Which would you prefer in your hair more, the pasta or the salad?" He threatened while stepping closer to her.

"You wouldn't dare." Sakura responded continuing to back away from the approaching Eriol. "Or I'll make sure the grape juice ends up all over your jeans." Spotting the bowl of popcorn still left from their movie watching she grabbed a few pieces and tossed them in his direction.

"Now that's not very nice." Eriol chuckled a protest as he reached out for the small female. But in trying to escape his outstretched arm she slipped on a stray piece of food. Eriol managed to catch Sakura but this placed them in interesting position, like he was dipping her in a dance with her arms anchored around his neck.

Their laughter died when they realized how close they were to one another. Green eyes searched blue and vice versa. Slowly Eriol brought Sakura upright but neither released their holds. Sakura felt her pulse quicken and she could feel Eriol's heart beating at the same accelerated speed. Sakura let her eyes close as Eriol bent his head to hers and their lips met in a gentle kiss.

"Sakura I…"

'What? Who is that?' Sakura's disoriented mind wondered. 'Oh no, he's home.' Sakura and Eriol pulled apart to find a recently arrived older brother standing in the doorway. "Crap!' Sakura panicked fearing the overprotective rage her brother was about to bestow on Eriol. Sakura started toward her brother treating him like a rhino about to charge, "Look Toya it's…" She stopped when Toya brushed past her to the dark haired friend standing in the middle of the kitchen floor trying to think of some reasonable excuse to give that would save him from a Toya ass whoopin'.

"Hi I'm Toya. The brother." Toya held out his hand to Eriol.

'What!' Sakura nearly collapsed from shock her green eyes wide and mouth agape. 'He's being…friendly! What is going on and where is my real brother?'

"Hi I'm Eriol." Eriol responded, shaking Toya's hand, also a little confused after all the stories he'd heard from both Syaoran and Sakura about Toya's fiery protests of the male sex being anywhere in the vicinity of his sister's presence.

Sakura spent the rest of the evening trying to decide if fate was laughing at her for she spent it eating with none other than Eriol and Toya listening to them having an actually pleasant discussion. It surprisingly turned out they had the same taste in old sci-fi movies and laughed over their favorites while at the table. 'Toya must be on crack or had a lobotomy or something. He's being civil! I didn't even think that was possible for him.' Sakura mused. Though there were still the occasional moments when Eriol would catch her eye causing her to blush and look away as she remembered the floaty feeling she had from being in his arms and the touch of his soft lips on hers.

When the food had vanished from the table Toya announced, "That was delicious. You're a very good cook my friend, unlike some people at this table." Sakura shot him a glare. "Well I think I shall give you two a little…alone time." Toya stressed with a chuckle the last two words causing Sakura to start choking on the water she had been sipping as he rose from the table and left. 'He did not suggest what I think he just did!' Sakura mentally cried. 'My brother is giving permission for me and Eriol to…….What is going on?' Syaoran was being bipolar, Eriol had kissed her, and her brother was playing matchmaker. 'It's official. I have finally gone crazy. That's the only explanation I can come up with.'

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A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed. Quinn I was not offended but felt you weren't seeing why I was trying to get people to email for changes. And for those of you telling me you've been deleted for nonspecific reasons and many feel wrongly so I again stress the need to make our objections known. If our voices aren't heard then how will they know there's a problem? Let another story not be wrongly deleted if we can.


	13. The Breaking of Friendships

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 12: The Breaking of Friendships**

Sakura sat in math class desperately trying to concentrate on the worksheet. 'What is the square root of 2,346….How the heck am I supposed to know that? And why can't we just use a calculator and be done with it?' Sakura griped in her head. Finally she could take no more of this painful assignment… "Guys," She wailed "I'm not gonna get this. How bout we just light them on fire and then tell the sub that they spontaneously combusted."

"Hmmmm knowing Ms. Flit we would probably get away with it." Meiling commented nodding her head in the direction of the rather old lady crouched over the desk. "Well as long as the smoke didn't set off the fire alarms," Tomoyo added with a smile. With Mr. Douran out with food poisoning, he had consumed a corn dog that was a bit on the aged side and was now suffering the consequences; the class was left with a substitute that probably had never gone past the sixth grade. Her stooped back made her hobble along with her nearly blind vision. And her skin was so wrinkled that it was rumored they formed actual letters and words if one looked close enough. But of course no one dared try for despite her frail appearance this teacher could get vexed quite easily. Ms. Flit, although not incredibly bright, could bring down the fires of hell. So the students had formed an unspoken agreement. As long as the class didn't mess around she couldn't care less if they talked, shared answers, and the like.

Sakura began to tune out as Meiling launched into a story where the school's quarterback tried playing a prank on Ms. Flit and she caught him in the act and began to humiliate him in front of the class. Rumors flew over what embarrassing acts Ms. Flit made him perform, but all that was known was that the six foot five muscle bound football player was reduced to a spineless cry baby by a little old lady. Her eyes lazily wandered the class until her gaze met with vibrant cerulean eyes across the room. Sakura couldn't help the smile that spread across her face from the warm expression on Eriol's face. Although neither had spoken of the little kitchen incident it was definitely clear that their friendship was changing. Their conversations became more teasing and flirting. They kept meeting each others gazes all the time. And this was not going unnoticed.

"So what's going on between you two?" A voice mischievously questioned. Sakura tore her eyes from Eriol to find Meiling and Tomoyo leaning in eager and curious.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Sakura asked not entirely sure what had just been asked.

Tomoyo and Meiling exchanged a look. "We mean between you and Eriol over there and the making goo goo eyes at one another." Tomoyo said with a smirk, knowing she wasn't wrong about what she'd seen. Something was definitely going on.

"Oh it's n-nothing." Sakura stuttered slightly, averting her gaze and playing with her hair. Her friends definitely noticed the pink tint that appeared on her cheeks.

"Sakura." Meiling said sweetly. "You're blushing."

'Crap. Busted.' Sakura thought. "Alright, I don't really know what's going on….but well…last week we…kissed." Sakura admitted.

Tomoyo squealed with delight while Meiling remained thoughtfully silent her ruby eyes watchful. 'So Eriol kissed Sakura. Syaoran will not handle that well, that's for.' She began to worry for their friendship. With Syaoran's growing attraction to his best friend there was no knowing how he would react if Sakura and Eriol started going out.

"I knew it. You two are sooooooo cute together." Tomoyo gushed. "And…we can even double date now that we both have boys!"

"Tomoyo it could just have been a fluke." Sakura voiced her doubt, and not only that, the idea of going out with Eriol with Syaoran there just seemed…wrong. Unbeknownst to her, Meiling was having the same thoughts.

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Syaoran watched from the cafeteria door at the table occupied by his usual crowd of friends. But his intense gaze was focused on a particular two of those friends. 'Is there something going on?' His mind questioned for the thousandth time that week. Ever since that phone call he had been observing Eriol and Sakura interact. He was not liking the smiles that kept appearing on their faces, the looks they exchanged whenever their hands brushed as they reached for their drinks, or the way Eriol would tease Sakura. It was Syaoran's job to make fun of her, to make her laugh and smile. He could feel his stomach boil at the mere of thought of someone else taking his place.

So deep were his reflections that he didn't notice his girlfriend come beside him until she slipped her arm in his and said, "Aren't they so adorable?"

Syaoran sharply turned his head down to Tomoyo's searching her giddy violet eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Well there's something happening between them and I thought we could give them a little helpful shove by maybe doubling with them on a date?" Tomoyo looked up pleadingly knowing that Syaoran might need a little convincing since he was so protective of the auburn haired girl. Besides if they doubled he would be able to keep a watchful eye on Sakura and maybe have his fears eased. She was expecting him to be upset, but the severity of his reaction went beyond predictions.

His ocher eyes smoldered dangerously as they narrowed. "Eriol asked her out?" His rumble sounded almost like a threat.

"Well not yet but at the rate things are going he will be. I mean they've already kissed so no doubt it won't take too long." Tomoyo said in a breezy rush almost hoping he wouldn't hear her exact words. But he needed to know and would have found it out sooner or later.

Instead of responding Syaoran began to stalk toward the lunch table with a frazzled Tomoyo scurrying to catch up with him. 'Oh no,' She thought regretfully. 'What have I done?'

"Eriol can I speak with you a moment?" Syaoran spat out. Despite the seemingly polite words, the question was definitely a demand not a request. Sakura wondered at her friend's darkened expression who wasn't even meeting her gaze. Eriol gave her a farewell smile before being led away, leaving a befuddled Sakura to an approaching Tomoyo, worry clearly written on her pale face.

Syaoran and Eriol entered an empty classroom, a little chill from the cool weather and lack of usual body heat when packed with students.

"So what's up?" Eriol asked casually his stable tone not betraying the uneasiness he felt. Syaoran looked livid and for one not big on showing emotion, that meant trouble. Syaoran's face was still rather stony but his eyes were blazing.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Syaoran's icy voice drummed. He'd barely raised his voice but he might as well have screamed for the force behind the statement.

Eriol moved back a little startled at his friend but also beginning to be annoyed. 'What the hell have I done to piss him off?' A certain green eyed girl came to mind, but he shoved that aside. 'How would he know about that yet? It's not like we're going out.' "What are you talking about?"

"I mean you and Sakura." Syaoran closed the distance between the two and his tall figure although not much bigger in height, seemed to tower over Eriol whose eyes had widened slightly with realization. "I thought I warned you not to mess with her. She's too innocent for that kinda thing."

Shock quickly turned to anger. "I am not messing with her as you so put it." Eriol stated looking disgusted that Syaoran would even suggest him capable of doing something so low. "And shouldn't Sakura be the one to decide what she is or isn't ready for?"

"Just leave her alone Hiiragizawa." Syaoran threatened and expected compliance. It never occurred to him that Eriol might resist.

"No." Eriol countered equally as icy, almost enjoying the slight tremor of shock that passed in his opposite's face.

And there it was, a shattering of a friendship as both fought over one girl.

"Be careful what you say. Are you sure this is the choice you want to make?" Syaoran questioned, his implication quite clear. He was giving the blue eyed boy the chance to rescind and stay amicable. But Eriol's mind was made up; this chance with Sakura was worth fighting for. He could find happiness and he wasn't about to just let it slip away.

"Look just because you can't see how amazing Sakura is doesn't mean others haven't. You're lucky some other guy hasn't already taken her away from you. They fear you and so you felt safe that she would always be yours. But this time you can't intimidate me; you can't keep me away." Eriol stated his face resolute, challenging.

Syaoran bristled at these harsh words, and at the truthful ring they left behind. He could feel his anger boil inside his veins restraining the urge to inflict it upon some external object, especially the young man who stood before him. "For the last time, stay away from Sakura."

"Syaoran, enough." A voice commanded.

Both boys turned to see two girls standing in the doorway, who knows when they had arrived. But from the watchful amethyst eyes of Tomoyo and the sharp emerald eyes of Sakura, it had been long enough.

Sakura stepped into the room, moving in between the two boys forming a barrier. "Eriol I'm sorry." Sakura apologized for her friend's behavior, placing a hand on his arm causing his tensed body to relax. He hadn't even realized how his body had been poised, ready for a fight until he felt the tension release. This gesture, though, had the opposite effect on the one standing behind Sakura, in fact inciting more protest.

"Sakura you cannot go out with him." Syaoran demanded, his voice tinged with fury, authority, outrage, and even maybe desperation.

But this only sparked contrariness in her as she twirled around to face him. "Oh I can't, can I?" She sarcastically challenged. "What right do you have to determine who I go out with?" She had to admit that even though she had dealt with Syaoran's protectiveness before, she had hit her limit. He didn't want her and had found another; wouldn't he at least allow her the same comfort?

"You just can't alright?" Syaoran said.

Sakura sighed in frustration. "And why not? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't go out with Eriol?"

Syaoran remained silent. But he could see the softening of her expression as her eyes began to shatter like a window, the little shards of glass slowing tinkling to the floor.

'There is no reason.' "Syaoran,' Sakura whispered, her frail voice barely audible. "What's wrong with me?"

Syaoran was momentarily shaken from his anger, taken aback by her question. He didn't understand what she was asking.

"What's so bad about me," Sakura continued shakily as the tears began to form, ready to spill. "What is so terrible that you won't let me near any guy…fearing I'll wreak havoc on the male species or something?" Sakura questioned uncertainly with a hint of sarcasm, her emotions making it hard to rationalize this possible reason.

"Sakura, that's not it." Syaoran said trying to find the words to explain the real meaning of his fiery protection. But how can one tell what one doesn't know?

"Then what is it?" Sakura bit out her strength growing from her desire to know. "It's not because of Eriol. He's a good guy and you know it. He's not one of the jerks who are out for a piece of ass. You even told me once that if Tomoyo had wanted Eriol you would gladly have given up on her because he was a worthy person, your friend. If you were willing to let your girlfriend be with him, why not me?"

Still silence.

"And it's not like you're jealous. I know that you see me as family. But even Toya approves of him." Sakura stated listing off all the reasons she could think of.

Syaoran raised his eyebrow dubiously at this. There was no way Toya would let any guy near his little sister. Syaoran was positive of that fact.

"It's true." Sakura countered seeing the doubting expression on Syaoran's face. With a cynical snort of laugher, "Toya practically welcomed him with open arms. Even suggested we spend some 'alone time.'" Syaoran did not like the bitter feeling that spread through him at the thought of Toya approving of Eriol and Sakura being together, especially when Toya would get violent if Syaoran merely had dinner with her. "So if everyone else in my life finds nothing wrong with this then why do you? And since you clearly respect Eriol the problem is with me not with him. So again I ask what is it about me that you find so wrong?"

Syaoran was dumbfounded, unable to respond as he watched the tears began to travel down her face. How he wished to just sweep her into his arms and just hide her from all her fears and worries. But he knew that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted answers. Answers that he didn't even have for himself.

"Don't I deserve the chance to find love?" She asked weakly her stricken gaze locked on his. 'He's found his. Does he really want me to be so alone and miserable?'

But her words brought a different response. A flicker of fear passed through Syaoran's amber eyes as he stepped closer to Sakura. "Are you in love with Eriol?"

Sakura's mind reeled. One half of her shouting, 'No! I love you, you idiot!' The other half wondering, 'Love…do I love…Eriol?' Her confused eyes searched the room traveling from Eriol to Tomoyo till they rested back on her best friend in front of her, before turning and fleeing unable to withstand the overwhelming emotions that swirled inside her. Eriol shot a quick glare at Syaoran before heading off after Sakura. Tomoyo just stayed at the door her eyes observant as Syaoran collapsed into a nearby desk, his head falling into his hands.

Syaoran had never felt so out of control before and his mind raced trying to discern what was going on. One thing was crystal clear through this mess. Sakura was hurt…and he was the one who had inflicted the pain. He could still picture the broken look in her eyes as she questioned her worth. 'How could she think anything's wrong with her? Doesn't she know how important she is to me? And why couldn't I tell her otherwise.' He just didn't understand. Normally he was not one to fly off the handle but when Tomoyo had implicated that Sakura and Eriol might be…he had flipped out. Something in him had snapped. The idea of Sakura being with another guy filled his stomach with a sickening dread and an icy rage to flare his temper. And now this loss of control led to messing with his two most important friendships. It was clear he and Eriol were as good as enemies unless one of them backed down. And Sakura was hurt and angry. He would need to apologize…but what could he say? He still had no answers.

"She's right you know." A gentle voice spoke near Syaoran. He looked up to find Tomoyo sitting in the desk beside his watching him carefully. "Eriol is a good guy."

"But…" Syaoran struggled to defend his position. "It's just not right," Was all he could come up with, going with the gut feeling he had.

"Don't you find it a little odd that you would let your girlfriend go out with him but not your best friend?" Tomoyo asked innocently.

"It's just that Sakura is too innocent to get involved." Syaoran reasoned. "She'll get hurt."

"You know that Eriol would never intentionally hurt her. And getting hurt is the risk people take when they open up to each other. We took that risk ourselves. So why can't Sakura? Sakura's the only one who can decide if the risks are worth chancing by going out with Eriol." Tomoyo said firmly but lightly.

'She's right,' His mind thought. But his body was screaming something else. 'Why can't I accept it?' Syaoran wished to understand what his body was telling him. Right now it was acting like something foreign; like it wasn't even a part of him anymore and now he needed an interpreter. "I just don't know," Syaoran mumbled, more to himself than anything else.

"If she loves him, you need to learn to let go. It's not always your job to protect her. She can do things on her own, and others can be there for her as well." Tomoyo added as if trying to convince him. But her words never got through. The world had dropped away at her first four words, 'If she loves him.' Syaoran couldn't stand the pressure that built on his chest or how his throat cramped up making it difficult to breathe. Tomoyo did not miss the stricken look that came across her boyfriend. He seemed like a little lost puppy that had just been slapped by its master. She quickly got up leaving him to think while she escaped before any tears could betray her true feelings. Once outside the room she leaned on the lockers beside it letting the painful realization wash over her.

This is what she had feared. This is what had made her hesitant towards Syaoran's initial advances. She had wondered about Sakura and Syaoran's closeness but brushed it off as true friendship. She was curious at how protective Syaoran was, so caring of Sakura, but she excused it as Syaoran's kind heart. His trust of her, his teasing her, the list could go on and on. All of the signs that she had chosen to ignore. But she could ignore it no longer. Syaoran would have let Tomoyo be with Eriol, his girlfriend, his supposed love, yet wouldn't bear the idea of Sakura being with the same guy and she was only his best friend. 'I could never match up to her importance,' Tomoyo's heart broke with that thought. Although Syaoran's feelings may not be clear one thing was obvious, the place in Syaoran's heart was already filled and it was not by her.

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A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed.


	14. Illusions

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 13: Illusions**

Sakura pushed open the doors of the school to escape into the cold air of the inner courtyard, the tears seeming to freeze upon her cheeks. A bone chilling breeze sent shivers through her body as she made her way to one of the benches. She could go back inside to the warmth of industrial heaters, but the thought of running into anyone deterred her. Her eyes searched the silver sky almost hoping the answers to all her problems were somehow written in the clouds. Her muddled mind reran over the scene in the classroom trying to get a grip. Her form trembled continuously from the icy surroundings but she lacked the strength or desire to move. Sakura felt the wind no longer touch her as a jacket, her jacket, was slipped over her shoulders. She lifted a tear stained face to find Eriol standing beside her, her book bag also in his hand.

Eriol sat down in silence offering his comforting presence without imposing. If she wanted to talk he would be there, and if not he would just wait with her till lunch ended. And if she wanted to be alone he would leave. Whatever she wanted or needed, he would do.

Sakura waited a few minutes before a coherent thought came to mind. "I can't believe he would say those things to you."

Eriol was a little surprised but recovered quickly. "Well I guess he felt threatened. The idea of you not being around is not something he's had to face before." Eriol distinctly remembered how Syaoran had scared away so many guys, including him at one point.

"That still gave him no right." Sakura emphasized, a little bewildered that Eriol was defending Syaoran's actions while she was the one berating them. "You're his friend and he treated you like..like…"

"An enemy?" Eriol prompted. And that's what they were now, enemies. Even if Syaoran was unaware of it, they were now unconscious competitors for Sakura.

"Yeah. I just don't understand." Sakura mumbled trying to figure out why Syaoran would flip out like that and turn on his friend so quickly. Eriol on the other hand was starting to get a very good idea why Syaoran was becoming more than protective of Sakura. He was tempted to speak of it, but for many reasons he kept his mouth shut.

"And it's not like we're even going out." Sakura said almost bitterly. "What a thing to fight over."

Eriol paused a moment before tentatively speaking up, "Well what if we were to make it true?"

Sakura's eyes flew up to his completely speechless.

"I realize that this may not be the best of times but what Li was saying is true…I like you…as more than a friend." Eriol stated as Sakura felt a blush slowing climb to her face as her heart gave a little flutter. Sakura opened her mouth to speak but he rushed on. "I know that you and him were rather…attached and I understand that you may have not completely given up on him…but what would you say to us…well giving it a try?" His brilliant blues eyes looked almost vulnerable with fear and hope swirling around in their depths.

Sakura was unsure what to say, torn by uncertainties. She liked Eriol. But was liking enough? "Eriol I can't lead you on. I like you but…"

Eriol cut her off. "As I said I know you're still working on getting over Li, but maybe I can help you with that." He offered jokingly before suddenly becoming serious again as he confessed, "When we first became closer I had no idea what an amazing person you are. You have such a caring heart, even for people who cause you pain. And you're strong. And you're so beautiful. When I saw you at the party I truly thought you looked like an angel…Maybe that's why he always kept other guys at such a distance," Eriol said with a wry smile. "So they wouldn't see how wonderful you are and…fall for you. I know I'm not much of a replacement but all I am asking for is a chance. Just a chance to see if there's something more to us."

"…"

"…"

"Alright." Sakura whispered with a small smile.

"Alright? You'll go out with me?" Sakura nodded. "Really?" Eriol questioned again incredulously, an unbelieving smile spreading across his face.

Sakura giggled at his dazed happiness and shock, and he soon joined in on her laughter. Slowly their hands found one another's, and it was a nice release to just sit, laughing, hand in hand. From a shattering of friendships could form a new bond…perhaps an even stronger one than friendship.

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"Thanks for driving me home." Sakura said as they headed out of the school parking lot.

"I live to serve milady." Eriol responded in his smarmy false accent making Sakura crack another smile. He was good at that and god knows how much she needed to smile. It was one of the reasons she was not heading to practice. She didn't have the courage to face Syaoran yet. For the rest of the school day Eriol's defense of Syaoran had rung in her ears until it hit her, the reason for Syaoran's edginess. 'How could I have been so clueless?' Sakura questioned for the millionth time. She felt like such a complete idiot and didn't quite have the nerve to see him. They had fought before but this was by far one of the worst and she couldn't help but feel a little guilty when she thought of what Syaoran was going through.

As they pulled up to the two-story petite yellow house Sakura eyes widened as she noticed a figure waiting on the porch swing. She had been planning on calling his cell phone to say she wasn't going to practice once she was safely home, but it looked like someone was one step ahead of her.

Eriol noticed her hesitation as she grabbed for the door handle. "You don't have to do this. We could hang out for a while or I could take you to Tomoyo's." He suggested.

But Sakura simply shook her head. "No it's alright. We're gonna have to face each other at some point." Then she turned and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. "But thank you." And with that she opened the door and got out, heading toward Syaoran.

Sakura gave one last glance as Eriol backed out of the driveway, waving goodbye. Taking a deep breath she faced back toward her house and headed up the worn in stairs, slightly creaking with her weight. At the top she halted both looking at one another, both trying to determine what to do or say. It was Sakura who spoke up first," How did you know that-?"

"That you weren't going to show up," Syaoran said for her, a whisper of a smile appearing on his face. "I just did."

With that Sakura could feel some of the tension ease away. While neither was in the best of spirits, it was clear that any anger Syaoran had was easily concealed and under control. Sakura approached the swing and sat down beside him. The two rocked gently back and forth watching the occasional car drive past the house. Sakura was working out what to say when Syaoran began, "Look I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I don't know why but I just overreacted and went way out of line…"

"No, no." Sakura interrupted. "It's me who should be apologizing. I can't believe I forgot. No wonder you blew up, thinking you might lose another person. I'm such an idiot for not remembering. What kind of a friend am I?"

Syaoran was stunned momentarily. He had been working out why he had acted so rashly and here an answer was being dropped right into his lap. Was it really that simple? Could it have just been the idea of losing his best friend coupled with his current situation? But no matter the cause, he knew she was not the one to blame. "Sakura don't say that. Whatever the reason we fought it definitely was not because of you. You have always been there for me, especially at times when I don't deserve you're support. Don't ever for a moment think there is something wrong with you. You truly are the best friend anyone could ever ask for…I don't really know what I would do if I lost you."

Sakura felt her heart swell at this admission. Even if she didn't have his love, she knew he valued her as a friend and that meant the world. "Well it's not like you haven't done the same for me." She replied.

"Really?" Syaoran asked, though it seemed more like he was talking to himself, rather then asking her. "I've been so focused on Tomoyo while something has been bothering you. I knew something was wrong but I let it go. And I'm sorry if I let you down…but I guess you found someone to help you." Syaoran didn't have to say who he was speaking of but Sakura knew very well who was meant.

'Might as well tell him now.' She thought. "Eriol and I are going to start dating." Sakura told him gently watching his face carefully.

Syaoran forced out a small chuckle after a moment at his friend's examination, "I'm not going to go crazy if that's what you're worried about." Sakura gave a smile, their friendship was okay. As long as that relationship remained she could suffer through anything.

His joke was a rather good cover for what he truly felt of the statement. He might as well have jumped in front of the truck that passed by them for it would have done less damage than that simple little sentence had. Surprisingly it wasn't anger that rose inside him but rather an aching sadness. Syaoran tried to force the feeling away excusing it as fear of her drifting away from him. But truly he knew it was other reasons that caused this pain. He dared not to ask what those reasons were; still fearing the truth for the changes it would give rise to. Ignorance is bliss. But one can tend to forget that ignorance also leads to tragedy.

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Meiling observed her friends at their usual midday meal with a critical eye trying to figure what the hell was going on with them. It had been a week since the significant dispute and everything seemed to have been thrown off kilter, though they seemed to be doing a decent job hiding it. To anyone on the outside it would seem that everyone was on good terms having an energetic conversation about recent couples and the upcoming Valentine's Day dance. But beneath the surface boiled hidden tensions and desires. Eriol sat by Sakura with a casual arm draped along her chair, but the look in his eyes was a protective one, especially when aimed at a certain amber eyed person sitting across from them. Meiling noted with interest the "truce" that the two had put in place. But it was all for show. Their friendship was no more than an illusion and a way to keep the peace. She noticed the slight tightening of Syaoran's jaw whenever Sakura and Eriol smiled at one another, or how his eyes would light up whenever that smile shone in his direction. But Sakura seemed oblivious to these subtle variations in Syaoran. So wrapped up in her shifting world she failed to notice the changes she had so desperately hoped for. But she was trying to move on, to escape and without solid proof she would now be the one blind. And to top off this three ring circus was Tomoyo who seemed to have the disappearing act down to an art. She had been missing at every lunch since that fight under the guise of some extracurricular activity. But Meiling wasn't buying it. She had seen how Tomoyo would mysteriously leave the instant Syaoran appeared. She was avoiding him, no doubt about it. The question was….why? Meiling sighed in confusion and frustration just wondering why everyone had to be so difficult. 'If only they would just admit their feelings we wouldn't be in this mess.' If they didn't do something Meiling was quite tempted to meddle in their affairs.

Meiling was brought back to reality with the girly giggles of Rika and Chiharu who were interrogating Sakura over details of her and Eriol's most recent date.

"Aw, that's sooo romantic." Chiharu exclaimed. "I wish Takashi would take me on a picnic. But somehow he's mistaken getting me extra butter on my popcorn at the movies to be true romance." She gave a dramatic sigh.

Rika leaned in close to Sakura whispering, "So is he a good kisser?"

"Rika!" Sakura yelped as her cheeks turn bright red. She was not used to such bold questions. With her only major crush being a secret she had never been really teased about boys. Now that she was dating, she had a lot of catching up to do in that department.

Her friends laughed at her reaction. "We'll take that as a yes." Rika said smirking.

"So does that mean you two will be going to the dance together?" Naoko piped up, putting her mystery book down for the moment. Sakura gave an inward sigh, 'I guess even the latest coupling gossip is enough to pique her interest.' She didn't really like that her love life was so scrutinized and watched. When word had first begun to spread around school people had been in shock. How a guy had gotten past Syaoran was a mystery even if they were friends, or had been friends to those who really knew what was going on.

"Well I would like to." A smooth voice cut in. The girls turned to see Eriol smiling at them. "That is if you'll honor me with your presence of course." The girls melted with awe at his charm while Sakura giggled an affirmative. Syaoran on the other hand had a less than thrilled reaction to this display but once again Meiling was the only one to take note of it.

"So Syaoran are you going to the dance with Tomoyo?" Chiharu asked.

"I would think so but to confirm that I would actually need to see her." The group let out a little chuckle at this all wondering where their raven haired companion had hidden herself away at. Only Meiling and Syaoran seemed suspicious of her absence.

"You know what would be adorable?" Meiling commented for the first time during lunch. "If you and Tomoyo doubled up with Sakura and Eriol."

She wasn't sure who looked more shocked, Eriol, Sakura, or Syaoran. 'She's crazy!' Was the similar thought of all three. Meiling knew of the trouble the four were having yet here she was suggesting they grouped. But before any of them could form a seemingly casual protest they were swamped with the approval of others. "Oh that would be so cute!" "The four best friends!" "Think of the pictures!" Soon they found themselves to be set for a double date dance for Saturday night.

'Good,' Meiling thought. She was sick of this mess and the only way she could think to fix it was to force them together. Avoidance only prolonged problems. Now all she had to do was tell Tomoyo and let the chips fall where they may.

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A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed.


	15. Attack of the Evil Contraptions

**Reality's Dream**

.** Chapter 14: Attack of the Evil Contraptions**

"No!" Sakura pouted like an insolent child, arms folded defiantly against her chest, as Meiling and Tomoyo hovered over her. "I refuse to wear those evil contraptions. I can see it now. They are already plotting my destruction, planning to trip me up the moment possible. I will not let them win!"

"Oh stop being so dramatic and put them on!" Meiling said rolling her eyes at her friend's antics. The "evil contraptions" that Sakura was referring to was a pair of three inch black heels placed before her which she was eyeing distastefully.

"Be thankful I even got them that short." Tomoyo commented pointing to her and Meiling's four inchers. Those things could kill, Sakura was certain of it.

"Short!" Sakura seemed flabbergasted. "You call those short! They are as long as my finger!" She held up her own for proof. "That ain't short! Besides remember how I fell in the ones you gave me last year. Please they are a safety hazard. I'm likely to kill Eriol's toes in these." She gave the puppy dog look, her vibrant green eyes widening to enormous length as she pleaded for the freedom of her feet.

But the look went unheeded and Sakura finally submitted, beginning to strap herself in mumbling curses of various sorts while her friends chuckled and finished up the last few touches to their ensembles. Meiling was putting on her long gold dangling earrings that contrasted nicely with the slinky black spaghetti strap she wore. Tomoyo was smoothing out the satiny gown she wore, admiring the metallic gray blue that colored the shimmery material. But despite her calm appearance, inside was turmoil. She was getting ready for what could be quite possibly the night from hell. Meiling had somehow talked her into this whole fiasco. She had been running and been caught. Praying maybe things would change, or that she had just been imagining it all. That Syaoran truly loved her. That Sakura was just a friend. That the world was perfect. 'Hah! That would be the day.'

After witnessing the battle of friends she began to doubt her judgments. Maybe she had just misread the signs and was seeing something that didn't exist. Maybe her fear of losing him had manifested into thinking Syaoran might have a thing for his friend. And if she broke it off with him on misconceptions…well she just had to be sure.

And so here she was preparing for a date with one who had hurt more than anyone before him had even done and she was going willingly. Oh the irony. But no she would not go down without a fight; she was here on a mission. She would watch the two friends closely to prove her fears. Her gut instinct had told her years ago not to get involved with Syaoran. Yet she had listened to her heart. Now she just hoped her instincts were wrong. And so she set off to face the music.

"Okay I'm done." Sakura exclaimed as she got up with a slight wobble thanks to the shoes that were now hidden beneath her dress. It hung across one shoulder with a thick strap. It was made of a vibrant red velvet cinched at one side creating a cascade of waves across its lengths flowing to the bottom where a small slit went up the side. With her golden brown hair piled atop her head she looked very elegant like she belonged at some sophisticated ball or maybe the Oscars. "Tomoyo these dresses are just amazing. I don't know how you do it." Sakura complimented her friend.

"Very classy. I'm sure Eriol will approve." Tomoyo said with a small smile, but despite the polite comment Sakura thought something seemed off about her. 'I'll ask her later if everything is going okay the next moment we're alone.' Sakura decided.

"Approve? The boy better do more than just approve, he better be drooling unless he's blind." Meiling joked causing Sakura to blush with embarrassment. Meiling seemed gifted at making those kind of comments. "As for myself, I'm sure Derek's eyes will go gaga at the lovely sight of me." She struck a pose and winked as her friends struggled to withhold their muffled laughter. No one could deny that Meiling was one of a kind.

**Honk Honk**

"That would be him." Meiling gave a little squeal as she gathered up her purse and coat. "Eriol should be here any moment with Syaoran to pick you guys up and we'll all meet at the restaurant in a few. See ya." Meiling gave quick hugs farewell and dashed out to her awaiting date.

Tomoyo began to rummage through her purse distractedly, as if she was doing it just to have something to do. After a few moments she was still searching the bag's contents having pulled out nothing. 'What is going on?' Sakura wondered at her friend's unusual behavior. She slowly walked up behind Tomoyo, placing a hand gently on her shoulder. "Tomoyo, is everything alright?"

Tomoyo turned to face Sakura, her eyes sliding back and forth while she bit on her lip as if debating to whether or not to speak the truth. But then fear made the decision for her, fear of being right, fear of being wrong, fear that saying it would make it true. So instead she gave a smile. "I'm just feeling a bit off. No worries. I'll be fine."

"You sure?" Sakura could tell Tomoyo was hiding something but she trusted her. 'If it's something I need to know she'll tell me.'

"Yeah." Tomoyo confirmed and then switched the focus of conversation. "So tell me, how are things with you and Eriol."

"Wonderful. He's so sweet and fun to be with. It's so easy to be around him." Sakura said then the next moment her eyes darkened over. "But I guess that happiness has its price."

"Syaoran?" Tomoyo prompted.

Sakura sighed and looked out the window of her room to the darkening sky. "Yeah. I know he and Eriol are just pretending everything's fine between them. Sure they're being civil and all but I don't know how to be with Eriol knowing the whole time I was the cause of a friendship crumbling."

"It's not your fault." Tomoyo stated the trite little phrase. But she couldn't stop the little voice inside from whispering that maybe it was. Pain always tries to find someone to blame.

Sakura continued her rambling, "I just don't understand. What the hell was so bad that they can't get past it? I even asked Eriol what the problem was and if they could fix it and you know how he responded?" Now imitating her dark haired date, "'That Syaoran and I don't see eye to eye anymore.'" She gave a little huff. "How pathetic is that? It's ridiculous!" She collapsed on her bed frustrated and upset. "It just doesn't make sense."

"Well they're boys so of course they're acting weird. They might as well be another species." Tomoyo said sitting down beside her friend who was cracking a smile at their little joke. Any boy trouble had always been explained as being due to crazy male antics and them being female of course left them unable to decipher the meanings.

**Ding Dong**

"Oh they're here." Sakura perked up. "Come on, let's go dance the night away." Picking up her purse and jacket she grabbed Tomoyo's hand and began to drag her to their awaiting dates.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Six teens sat around a table munching away on French fries and burgers and slurping on creamy milk shakes in the fifties style diner. Although one could say they were slightly overdressed for such a place, the joint was jumping with many groups of teens in sparkly dresses and penguin suits. At the moment, the six mentioned were chattering away about freaky faculty members and hilarious and horrifying incidents with them. Eriol was telling the tale of Ms. Bee the Biology teacher and her whirlwind affair with Jack the janitor, mostly to Sakura who sat across from him between Tomoyo and Meilin while Syaoran and Derek sat beside him.

"So I decide to go to her classroom after school to question my grade. I open the door to find them going at it like rabbits on the lab tables. I swear I am scarred for life by that image. Talk about getting friendly with the faculty." Eriol gave a shudder.

"So that's why you don't like any of the science classes." Sakura giggled and the two stayed smiling at one another.

"Well," Syaoran interrupted with a bit more force than natural conversation permits. "There was also another scary science teacher he, well we, had in middle school. Mr. Kurbaka was this grumpy, fat teacher who limped around the school glaring at every one and we think he had a thing for the boys in the class cause he would say some rather…suggestive things. Like one time we had this project of testing water absorption in different vegetables, carrots, potatoes, peas, celery, lettuce, and sorts. We had to wait a while to keep checking the progress so my lab partner Jeff was spending the spare time flirting with the girls the table next to us. All of a sudden Mr. Kurbaka barks out, 'Jeff is your celery limp?'" Syaoran imitated the man's gruff voice. "Well you can imagine how …interesting that sounded. But Jeff responded that it wasn't yet and shook it off. But then Mr. Kurbaka asked, 'Jeff are you potatoes firm?' And he even made a grabbing motion to emphasize that well let's just say it looked rather sexual."

Sakura was scrunching her nose in disgust but was also laughing to the point where tears were filling her eyes.

"That wasn't the oddest thing Mr. Kurbaka said. One time…." Eriol continued on with another treacherous tale of teachers not noticing the watchful eyes of Meiling and Tomoyo, both of whom were quite aware of the fact that although this had been a group conversation, the two boys seemed rather focused on the green eyed girl across from them. But to those not speaking one could say it seemed almost like a competition, each vying for the laughter and attention of Sakura.

While Meiling merely found it intriguing, Tomoyo found it damaging. When Syaoran had arrived at the Kinomoto house all pretended things were normal. She and Syaoran had exchanged small talk and held hands and acted like they had never spent any time apart, it was like Tomoyo's disappearing act had never happened. But as the evening continued she was finding it more and more difficult to cling to hope feeling it chiseled away as she watched Syaoran. Every time he clenched a fist or anger and jealously flashed through his eyes or even those rare few brilliant smiles she saw her misgivings slide away because not a one was because of her. It was because of Sakura. Her naïve friend who could not see the silent feuding of Syaoran and Eriol, all over her. The reason for their broken friendship was quite apparent, at least to Tomoyo. And it broke her heart to see it. When the time came she would do what was needed.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Look at all the sparkly lights." Sakura cooed as they entered the darkened school gym. The usual garish fluorescent lights had been replaced by strings of soft colored lights. "It's so beautiful."

"Just like you." She heard a voice whisper in her ear. She looked up at Eriol who was walking beside her, his hand holding hers.

"I think you are just a bit too talented at making me blush," Sakura joked. No matter how many times he gave her a compliment she couldn't help being bashful.

"But you're so adorable when you're red. You're like a cherry." Eriol teased while Sakura stuck out her tongue.

"Alright you two. Enough with the flirting. You'll have plenty of time during the slow songs. But now is the time for boogying," Meiling commanded and grabbed Derek and Sakura dragging them to the partially filled dance floor. Sakura yanked Eriol. Eriol pulled Tomoyo. Tomoyo grasped Syaoran. And so the line of teens began to dance under the colored lights just letting go of their troubles, moving to the music, laughing at one another, just having fun.

Eventually the fast paced songs turned into a swoony love ballad and most of the floor cleared, leaving the couples to have their moment. Eriol began a little waltz with Sakura to make her laugh.

"Eriol!" She squealed as they wheeled around the gym until they came back to where Syaoran and Tomoyo were dancing. Sakura took a quick notice of the couple near her. Tomoyo seemed distracted and Syaoran looked…guarded. 'Something is going on,' Sakura's mind pointed out before her attention was brought back to her dance partner as he switched to the modern slow dance, his hands on her waist pulling her closer. Sakura snuggled even closer like how she felt comfortable in his arms. Giving a sigh of contentment she snuggled up to Eriol resting her head on his shoulder.

Slowly both of them pulled apart slightly so they could close the distance in another manner.

XxXxXxXxXxX

Tomoyo was caught in her thoughts. She didn't want to do this. She loved him. Maybe there was hope he could grow to love her more. She wanted to follow that childish impulse of just holding on to him and never letting go. Reason fought with emotion, the heart with the mind.

Tomoyo felt Syaoran tense in her arms as they swayed to the music. Craning her neck she turned to locate the source of his enrapture and rage. It was Eriol and Sakura…lip locked. Tomoyo felt every last ounce of resistance swept away by the torrent of anger and pain now coursing through her. Her decision was made.

"Syaoran."

No response.

Resisting the urge to shake him, rather aggressively of course, Tomoyo stated again with more force, "Syaoran."

Syaoran was snapped out of his thoughts to find his girlfriend looking resolute, her violet eyes burning and trying to suppress what looked like to be sadness. "Is everything alright?" He questioned, concerned.

Tomoyo had the sudden urge to laugh right in his face. 'Alright! Alright! How can anything be ALRIGHT when you don't love ME?' Trying to shove aside any emotional outburst, Tomoyo took a deep breath and slowly disentangled herself from his grasp. She saw the confusion dart in his eyes. Fixing a stony gaze upon him, she uttered the words she had been battling whether or not to say. "Syaoran, we're through."

Syaoran's face barely changed but from the subtle widening of his pupils she knew the words had hit home. She might as well have slapped him for it would have had the same shocking effect. "What?" He managed to mumble sounding like he was hoping that the cheesy love song playing had twisted her words or that he was mistaking her meaning.

"You and I are over." Tomoyo said clearly, though her voice wavered a bit.

"What?" He repeated. "Wait. Why?" Syaoran's mind was screaming a million things at once, but all had one idea in common; he was confused.

"Syaoran it's just not going to work out between us." Tomoyo spit out another banal and bland phrase which kept Syaoran still in the dark.

"I don't understand."

Anger flared up inside of her, and her usual ability to stay calm was lost. She just wanted to get away. "You don't understand? Well fine then let me simplify it for you. We're breaking up. And why? Because your thoughts have been not with your girlfriend the entire night. No instead you have paid more heed to our friend over there and yet I'm supposed to be the one you love. And I can't compete with that. And I'm not going to. We're just done." By the end Tomoyo was shaking and on the verge of tears. She had hoped to stay strong and composed, to put an end to this without causing too much stir but as usual things never go as expected. Syaoran was probably akin to a deer caught in headlights at this moment, but so was Tomoyo. She felt just as lost and hurt. She almost had the desire to take back her words and pretend that everything would be okay. But she also saw the small hint of guilt in Syaoran's face as he began to realize who she had been talking about.

"Sakura." He said it so softly she almost didn't catch it.

"Yes. Sakura." There was almost a bitterness to her voice. Was she jealous of her own best friend? "And you're too blind to even see it. She has you wrapped around her little finger and you know what, you probably don't even care!"

"Tomoyo I-" Syaoran stepped forward, reaching out to her.

"No. Just leave me alone." Tomoyo tried to back away, but her unsteadiness hampered her ability to walk and she felt the sharp stab as she twisted her ankle on her high heels. Syaoran rushed forward to help but the moment he placed a hand on her she practically screamed, "Don't touch me! Don't you dare." Barely at a whisper, he heard, "You've hurt me enough."

Stunned into silence he watched as she lifted herself off the floor and hobbled away from him. Eriol and Sakura walked quickly to the disheveled Tomoyo having witnessed most of the scene. Hell half the school had probably seen the couple fight, but having only her yelling be loud enough to be heard, the crowds were left to whisper over what the disruption might have been about.

"Are you okay?" Sakura asked concern apparent in her features. "What happened?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." Tomoyo feebly lied. But her body betrayed her as she winced and let a small gasp out from the throbbing in her ankle.

"No you're not fine." Sakura protested. "Oh sweetie that doesn't look good." Taking a closer look, she saw that the ankle was beginning to swell slightly turning a reddish-purple shade. "We should get you home so you can lie down and put some ice on it. Here lean on me and Eriol." As Sakura and Eriol flanked Tomoyo, Sakura joked, "See I told you heels were dangerous."

Meiling approached the three, her face still flushed from dancing most of the time they'd been there. "What's going on?"

"Tomoyo got hurt so we'll take her home." Eriol responded.

"Ouch that looks painful. Sorry." Meiling flashed her a sympathetic smile. "Oh I'll go round up Syaoran so you can leave."

"No!" Tomoyo protested. When the three looked to her silently she added, "I wouldn't want him to miss all the fun just because I twisted my ankle."

"Okay then, Derek and I can give him a ride home." Meiling complied, curious but not questioning further. They knew that wasn't Tomoyo's reason but now wasn't the time to push.

"Sakura why don't you stay then?" Eriol said shocking her and Meiling immensely. "I can take Tomoyo home. I don't want you to miss out on the dance." But behind his words she saw something more, and she got the message as he mouthed the word 'Syaoran.' They were on damage patrol. Eriol would see to Tomoyo and Sakura would deal with Syaoran. Usually in matters of love it would make sense for them to be dealing with the friend of the same gender. But circumstances had led to this different outcome.

"Okay I'll just catch a ride with Meiling and Syaoran over to the Li's. I can say hi to Yelan." She gave Tomoyo a gentle hug wishing her to feel better and to call her if she needed anything. Then went to Eriol and gave him a quick kiss and they exchanged a knowing smile before going their separate ways.

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A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed especially to some of the hilarious ones.


	16. I'm Such an Idiot

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 15: I'm Such an Idiot!**

"I'm gonna beat ya!"

"No you're not!"

"Hah! Take that!"

"Oh yeah! How bout that?"

"Hey no fair!" Syaoran shouted at his cousin who was laughing evilly. "You cheated."

"I would never!" Meiling protested with a smirk. "I merely leveled the playing field." At the last moment she had elbowed Syaoran slightly in the ribs causing him to jump and loose concentration allowing Meiling's little red car to pass his and win the race. Grumbling, Syaoran's black convertible placed second. On the TV could still be seen a pink jeep attempting to find the ending point.

"Why won't this stupid thing go!" Sakura whined while staring at the screen desperately trying to just complete the race. At the moment that goal looked impossible considering she was headed in the opposite direction of the finish line.

The two cousins looked at the controller clutched in a death grip before laughing.

"What?" Sakura asked, confused.

"Well it might help if you didn't have the controller upside down." Meiling commented.

"Heh, ooops." Sakura mumbled switching the device right side up trying to act casual.

Meiling got up from the floor stretching her back and giving a slight yawn. "Well beating your sorry asses has worn me out. I think I'm gonna head to bed. See you in the morning." And with a little wave she left the room leaving Sakura and Syaoran sprawled on the carpeted floor.

After Tomoyo's dramatic exit the three had decided to call it a night. Derek drove the trio to the Li household where they opted to crash for the evening. After an, ahem, friendly goodbye from Meiling they retired into the appropriately named 'activity' room to hang out and unwind. But not once the entire time had the subject of Tomoyo been broached. Sakura was waiting until a more private moment. And well here they now were…alone…and silent.

Sakura scooted to her left closing the distance between them. She placed her hands behind her head emulating the friend beside her. "So you gonna tell me what's going on or am I going to have to pry it outta ya?" Sakura asked, her tone was light and joking, but the question was real.

Syaoran was trying to find a nice way to put the day's events only to discover there was none. "Tomoyo broke up with me, "he stated bluntly causing Sakura's eyes to widen and her mouth to drop open.

"She did what?" Sakura asked expecting him to say she had misheard him. But seeing his somber face she regrouped. "Why? I mean sure she looked angry, but I thought you guys just had a fight or something. Why in the world would Tomoyo do that?"

And there it was. The one question that he had been debating for hours whether or not to answer truthfully. On the one hand Sakura was his closest friend and deserved to know the truth, plus maybe she could help. On the other hand. How would Sakura feel if she knew the reason for the break up was her? Unintentionally of course. But Sakura would still feel responsible. Syaoran did not want her to feel guilty of something she had no part in. And most of all if he told that Tomoyo thought he liked Sakura more, how would he respond if she asked if it was true? So instead, Syaoran choose the middle ground, the half truth. "It was because I didn't love her enough."

"What!" Sakura practically screeched. "How could she possibly think that? You love her. I know you do. I saw you pine after her for years for crying out loud. There must have been some misunderstanding or something. You should go to her and make her see she's wrong." Sakura rambled on passionately defending her friend before Syaoran could soothe her enough to get a word or two in edgewise.

"No. Tomoyo's right. It just wasn't going to work out between us." Syaoran said.

Instead of calming her down this only incited Sakura further. But instead this energy was directed solely at him. "It's just not going to work out?" She repeated propping herself up on her arm to look over at him. "Seems to be a common pattern with you. Things get tough and instead of fighting for what you want you just give up claiming that it's due to some unknown reason."

Syaoran stared in shock and confusion at her outburst. "What do you mean?"

"Oh come off it Syaoran, I'm not blind." Sakura said practically rolling her eyes. "Do you really think I wouldn't see through you and Eriol's little act? I've known you for too long. You're not even attempting to fix your friendship. And what I want to know is why?" Her expression and voice demanded an answer, a reason, anything to explain the mess in the world. A mess she felt slightly responsible for.

"Because there is nothing to fix." Syaoran countered a little defensive and exasperated. "We just don't….see eye to eye anymore."

Sakura's face began to contort, her mouth twitching and her eyes squishing until finally laughter burst forth from her lips. Syaoran was completely clueless to his friend's sudden change in mood. "What's so funny?" He asked, perplexed.

"You two can be so alike. He said the same exact thing when I asked him." Sakura said through a smile as she shook her head at the irony of it. They agree to disagree with one another. 'Boys,' she scoffed.

Sobering up slightly she lay back down on her side to face Syaoran, contemplating a moment before beginning again. "Who would have thought things would have ended up so…complicated? You and Eriol don't talk. You and Tomoyo probably now won't talk. She and I haven't really been talking much of late either. And poor Meiling's busy playing referee to all of our antics." Sakura sighed. "I guess that's what we get for dating close friends."

"Does that mean you believe friends shouldn't date?" Syaoran questioned rolling over as well; his voice almost at a whisper like the question had such a strong value. Sakura looked at him like he was crazy. Then it hit him. "Right, then why would you be dating Eriol." Syaoran voiced the shared thought as Sakura nodded. Syaoran cleared his throat as if trying to clear the mounting tension that began to rise between them. "You guys uh looked like you were having fun tonight."

"Yeah…it was…nice." Sakura confirmed but for some reason the dance was far from her mind. Instead her focus was rather centered on the person before her. It was another few moments before either spoke again like it was difficult to get words out.

"You know we never did get to dance together. Another tradition broken." Syaoran said not quite meeting her eyes.

'Is he suggesting…' "Well we could always remedy that." Sakura said tentatively, hoping she was taking the hint correctly. "This place doesn't have a sound system for nothing you know." Both smiled at her little joke but it did nothing to lessen the pressure filling the room. It was like the air was becoming thick and heavy, weighing down on them.

"Well that would all depend on if we can find how to even turn it on." Syaoran said standing up and going over to a drawer in the entertainment center. Sakura followed as he opened it to reveal a sea of plastic casings with colored buttons that had sway over a various number of electronic devices installed around the room.

"That's quite a collection you got there." Sakura joked. "Do you know which one's which?"

"Not a clue." Syaoran responded. 'Not surprising considering how little time he had spent in the place since it was remodeled.' Sakura thought. "Let the hunt begin." Syaoran proclaimed picking up the remote at the top of the pile and hit the power button.

The TV turned black.

"Maybe it's this one." Sakura picked up the next controller and pushed down.

The disc drive of the DVD player slide open.

"Here's the one." Syaoran declared and pressed it dramatically.

All the lights went out.

"Whoops. Heh. Guess I was wrong." In the darkness he couldn't see the buttons on the controller so blindly he searched for any one that might shed light back in the room.

Next thing they knew, Sakura and Syaoran were surrounded by schizophrenic disco lights, the colors swirling and dancing around the room. "You can thank my sisters for this one I'm sure." He gave the controller another try and found the lights changing. They lost their color and slowed their frantic movements to a nice swaying down the walls seeming like stardust falling from the sky around them.

As Syaoran reached back in the drawer he felt his hand brush with Sakura's and they both froze for a moment before quickly pulling back mumbling apologies. Then both started to reach for the drawer again at the same time but realizing this they both drew back.

"Can anyone say sexual tension?" A voice commented.

"Meiling, not so loud! They'll hear us." Fuutie whispered, attempting to keep her cousin quiet, though her main focus was on the two teenagers in the room before them. She, her three sisters, her mother, and her cousin were all lined up against the open doorway leaning in from both sides, spying on the clueless best friends.

"I agree. They are acting so childish. It's so cute." Seifa sighed in adoration.

"Finally idiot boy's found the right one." Meiling said as they saw Syaoran hit the sound system on and loud country western came blaring out of the speakers, the singer wailing about losing his woman, his job, his truck, and his dog, and the only thing he missed was the truck. Not exactly what one would call romantic.

Syaoran changed the stations. Lively mariachis screamed and trilled in what was assumed to be Spanish.

Syaoran tried again. Punk rock came pounding in, the bass vibrating throughout the room. The boy just couldn't seem to catch a break.

Finally he switched to CDs. Amazingly a slow song began to waft through the air. Now that the mood was set, the lights low, and the music playing, all that was needed was the dancers who at the moment were staring at one another in awkward silence.

**I've been watching you and all you do  
For quite some time**

**Knowing all the ins and outs of you  
I should've known what was on your mind  
But all the world is spinning round and round  
Inside my head tonight  
I will fall into the darkness  
And I fear I will never see the light**

Slowly they stepped toward one another, closing the distance. Timidly Syaoran wrapped his arms around her waist while Sakura gently rested her hands on his shoulders. She noticed that her head only reached his chest now that she was no longer in heels making her lean her head back to look up at him.

**So let me in  
All that I wanted from you  
Was something you'd never do  
So let me in  
Oh please tonight  
Don't let this end  
Tonight  
I'll Fall**

Sakura shivered as his fingers rubbed along her back. Syaoran couldn't help it. He loved the feel of her dress, the velvet feeling so smooth and soft in one direction and bristled in the other. It was like touching silk then being shocked by static electricity

**Through no light the darkness seems to be  
So very strong  
How does one alone against the world  
Find the strength to carry on?  
What happened to the way we used to love  
It seemed as though life had just begun  
But now that love has come and gone to fade away  
Like the setting sun  
Cuz' you won't let me in.**

Syaoran noticed a strand of hair had fallen loose from Sakura's updo. Before he could even think on it his hand had already move to brush it away from her face, his hand connecting with her cheek. Sakura inhaled at the sweet shock of the touch

**All that I wanted from you  
Was something you'd never do  
So let me in  
Oh please tonight  
Don't let this end  
Tonight  
Cuz' I'm starting to fall  
So let me in**

For some reason Syaoran couldn't pull his hand from her face, both relishing in the simple gesture. He brought his fingers lightly down across the jaw line until resting under her chin. His other arm tightened its hold while tilting her face. There eyes never broke their steady gaze.

**It was all that I wanted from you  
It was something you never knew  
**

Seifa felt the itching in the back of her nose

**To let me in**

'Not now!'

**But not tonight**

She thought as she saw Syaoran begin to lean down

**For this is the end**

**'**It's coming!'

**Tonight**

Sakura had closed her eyes.

**I fall**

'Dammit!' Seifa managed to stifle the noise, but the backlash of the cutoff sneeze caused her to loose her balance. Her missed footing ended with her falling upon Fuutie who subsequently squashed Meiling who had been watching from below them. The mass of three bodies crashing to the carpeted floor created a decent 'thump' which brought the lovely couple back to reality while the spying ladies scattered for hiding spaces.

Syaoran and Sakura pulled apart looking for the source of the interruption. Finding none, they were left in self-conscious silence not meeting the other's eye. Finally Sakura broke the quiet.

"Well…it's getting kinda late…I guess we should head to bed…Good night." And with that Sakura turned and left for her room while Syaoran stood still, in the same spot, rooted to floor.

'Did I just…was I about to…' Syaoran's mind was having trouble grasping the concept that yes he had just tried to kiss his best friend. Numbly he made his way to the couch and plopped down, collapsing.

His mind traveled back to when Sakura was in his arms. When they had been dancing it was like the rest of the world had melted away. She had this ability of making him forget all his problems. And when he had touched her, it was like he couldn't stop what came next. He had to kiss her. Had to fulfill the desire that coursed through him.

'Desire?' Syaoran sighed. 'Tomoyo was right. I like Sakura.' He gave a little wry snort. 'Maybe even more than just like. Maybe even lo…' Things were adding up. The anger, the jealousy, all fueled by the fear of losing someone close to his heart. And all those bitter emotions were amplified by the confusion. His denial had blinded him, letting his emotions rule and to lose control. He thought of the mess that had become of this. A broken friendship and a broken heart.

And on top of that, Sakura was now beyond his reach. She was with Eriol and he would respect that. Even though he and Eriol were on the outs, he wasn't the type to go after another guy's girl. It just wasn't right. 'I'm such an idiot.' Rang through his thoughts many a time and he was quite tempted to bang his head into a wall repeatedly in the hopes of ridding himself of such stupidity. 'My entire life she's been right by my side and now when she belongs to someone else I realize I like her.' Syaoran groaned.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura turned the facet off reaching blindly for the towel to dry her face off with. Her hands grasped the cloth and wiped the water from her eyes. She watched her reflection in the mirror as she patted away the remaining moisture. Her movements halted as the towel rested against her cheek. Her mind flitted back to the scene downstairs. 'I can't believe I thought he was going to kiss me! I must have been delusional. Tomoyo just broke up with him for crying out loud! And here I am thinking he's making the moves on me.' Sakura shook her head. 'How pathetic am I? It's a good thing we were interrupted before I made a fool of myself.'

But despite her scolding she could not forget the way her chest had expanded when he had touched her cheek, when he had looked her in the eye, and when she closed hers in anticipation. She left the bathroom deep in thought, clutching her necklace.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

The next Monday found our teens once again inside the stuccoed walls of school, their favorite hangout to be of course. Who doesn't enjoy sitting in desks made of metal and plastic for hours on end with mountains of useless information thrown at them, all to be topped off by food not even worthy of a prison and the trappings and pitfalls of high school popularity?

Currently the gossip sharks were munching away at the ever so scandalous break up of Tomoyo and Syaoran. All were dying of curiosity to discover the reason for it, and of course plenty of rumors were floating around from the unlikely, 'Syaoran had been caught cheating,' to the improbable, 'cheating with Eriol,' to the just plain bizarre, 'cheating with Eriol and Sakura along with the whole soccer team and the mascot.' Or some just said Tomoyo was stupid for rejecting one of the most vied after guys of the school. Either way, many glances drifted to their usual table during lunch eager to spy any little hint or clue of the break up.

Sakura was now placed of course beside Eriol who was holding her hand. Syaoran sat across from them facing Sakura while Meiling sat to his left in front of Eriol with Derek beside her. He had become a recent addition to the group as it seemed he and Meiling's casual relationship became a bit more solidified. And to Syaoran's right sat…Takashi busily chatting away with Chiharu and Rika. Tomoyo who had finally rejoined the lunch table was seated next to Sakura barely glancing at her former boyfriend. And from the looks of it, this seating arrangement was going to be quite common in the coming weeks.

Despite the turbulence of the past few weeks, the silent animosity between Eriol and Syaoran seemed to have died down. Sure Syaoran still felt the pang of hurt and jealously when reminded of Sakura being with Eriol but he no longer boiled with rage. The confusion that had heightened his emotions had left giving him the appearance of calm even when his heart was breaking. Eriol provided another vibrant example for Syaoran to sear into his memory as Eriol prompted Sakura for another date.

"So Friday night, 'Napoleon Dynamite?'" Eriol asked.

"Oh sorry I can't." Sakura declined with a quick glance over at Syaoran.

"Well how bout Saturday then?" Sakura shook her head no looking a combination of regretful and awkward. "Thursday? We could catch an afternoon viewing." Eriol suggested.

"Eriol I'm sorry. I'm going to be with the Li's this week. It's a family thing." Sakura explained vaguely, apologizing. "Can we reschedule for next week?"

"Of course. It's no biggie." Eriol complied receiving a kiss on the cheek.

But in a way it was a big deal. Sakura had turned down Eriol to be with Syaoran, if not directly. Syaoran couldn't help the little childish instinct that came over him. He felt like sticking his tongue out and chanting, 'naah naa naah naa naah!' Sakura would be spending the week with him, even if the reason wasn't such a joyful one. Eriol on the other hand felt less than triumphant. When he had taken Tomoyo home the other night she had opened up to him, confessing the details of the painful break up. And in doing so she confirmed his worse fear, that Syaoran indeed had feelings for Sakura. And now he couldn't help the cold chill of doubt beginning to seep in. What would Sakura do if she found out?

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A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed especially to some of the hilarious ones. Sorry for any lateness, I was celebrating my birthday.


	17. In Need Indeed

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 16: In Need? ... Indeed**

Sakura woke up Wednesday morning in her second home. She rolled over to look at the clock. 'Five a.m! Gah my body must really hate me.' But despite the early awakening she no longer felt tired. Seeing that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep she decided to see if Syaoran was up. He tended to be an early riser.

Dragging her body out of the tangled web of sheets she made her way to the closet for jeans and a sweat shirt. Once changed she set out for the journey to his room, the exhausting three whole feet of it. Knocking on the door she heard no response. Stealthily she peered inside to find the room absent of any signs of life. Closing the door again she made her way to the stairs that would lead outside. She knew where he would be.

Sakura exited out the back, walking through the trails of winter flowers and shrubs. Passing the maze she saw a small white blossom with a pink core peeking out of a plant. Gently she plucked it and carried it reverently in her hand as she continued on. Behind the maze rose a hill and resting on its peak was a brown haired boy, kneeling on the grass staring at the ground before him.

Although Sakura couldn't see what Syaoran was staring at she knew what it was. A grave. The grave of his father.

It had been the middle of their freshman year of high school and Li was teaching his son how to drive. Syaoran was in the driver's seat patiently waiting to make a left turn. The light changed to green and before their car could make it completely into the intersection, a truck came barreling through the opposing red light into the passenger side of the car. Li died instantly on impact while Syaoran barely got a scratch.

Sakura and her father and brother spent an entire month in the Li residence helping them grieve. It had been tough on them all. Li had always been so caring towards her. He had even been the one to teach her how to ride a bicycle because Fujitaka was on a dig at the time. The two families shared their sorrows, forming another bond through tragedy. All of them, except Syaoran. He took his father's death the hardest and showed it the least. Sakura watched helpless as the friend she knew grew cold and distant. The look in his eyes was frightening, a mix of bitterness and anger. An ocean of suffering swam in his eyes that Sakura nearly drowned in whenever she tried to confront him. He snapped at everyone around him becoming callous and rude even to his family. She watched as the friend she loved became a monster. Finally she saw that it was time to fight for him before the Syaoran she loved became lost forever.

XxXxXxXxXxXx(Flashback)xXxXxXxXxXxX

Sakura dashed out of the dining hall with a last glance at a collapsed Yelan who was being attended to by her daughters as well as Fujitaka. 'He's gone too far. This has to stop,' Her mind demanded as she stormed up the stair and down the hallway. Reaching a door she shoved it open determinedly not even bothering to knock. With his current attitude manners would matter little.

The room was dark, illuminated only by the light shed by the open doorway. Standing half in shadow across the room was Syaoran his piercing eyes icy cold as they glared at her.

"Get out," He rumbled, his voice as hard as his eyes.

"No" Sakura protested. It hurt her even to be in his presence with his current behavior, but she had to do something, anything. She had to try.

"I said leave." Syaoran stepped closer, placing himself more in the light, his amber eyes seeming to glow.

Sakura trembled under his gaze but held strong. She would not give up on him. Never. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Why won't you just leave me alone!" Syaoran lashed out, anger mixed with a rising panic could be heard in his voice. His icy control was being chipped away. Sensing this Sakura began to press.

"Because that is the last thing you need right now. You can't do this." Her eyes were pleading with his, begging him to just listen to her.

"Do what?" Syaoran muttered turning his head away from her. Maybe if he didn't look in her eyes he could avoid what she was trying to tell him. Maybe he could hide. Just maybe.

"This!" Sakura flailed her arms gesturing to his form. "Closing off. Turning cold. Pushing everyone away." Her tone softened. "How could you say those things to your mom?"

"It's not like she's cares. They all hate me. Why does it matter how I act? It's not like they care. It's not like anyone cares." Syaoran spat out bitterly. But Sakura could still see that despite his harsh words, he wanted people to care. And sadly, he truly believed they didn't. In Syaoran's view, he was worthless, devoid of all meaning and value. He didn't deserve to live while his father was the one freshly under the earth.

Seeing this she slowly began to close the distance between them. She moved gently and carefully, approaching him like one would a dangerous animal. But there was also desperation in her movements. She had to get to him, had to get through to him. She couldn't loose him.

"That is not true and you know it. Your family loves you, they need you." A step. "And they aren't the only ones. What about your friends?" Another step. "Meiling? She loves you." Getting closer. "And Tomoyo? Eriol? They love you." Just a few more. "And Takashi, Chiharu, Rika, Naoko, all of them love you and you know it. And what about me?" Sakura's voice failed for a moment as she realized that here and now she was about to admit her feelings. But Syaoran had finally looked at her, his cold eyes wavering. He was breaking, she was almost through to him. Whatever it took to get him back she would do. "God Syaoran…I love you. I don't know what I would do if you push me away. I need you so much...please…"

And with that Syaoran crumpled to the floor, his knees giving way beneath him with a sound so mournful that Sakura at first was uncertain of its source. Then instincts kicked in and she rushed to Syaoran's side. He was bent over, rocking back and forth, an almost chocking noise emitting from him. It was then that Sakura realized he was crying. Syaoran, the boy who never shed a tear, was performing the action right before her eyes.

"Shhh. It's alright," Sakura said soothingly as she helped Syaoran up off the floor, guiding him to his bed. Lying him down on the sheets she placed herself beside him wrapping her arms around his sobbing form, holding him as tightly as he was holding her. Syaoran gripped Sakura like she was his only anchor to the world as his grief poured out of him. All the anger, the guilt, the sorrow, and the pain came out in a torrent of tears and words.

"It's all my fault. It's…all my fault that father's dead…" Syaoran babbled until Sakura cut him off.

"Don't you dare think that for a moment. It was the driver. He was drunk and reckless. It was an accident." Sakura said her voice fierce but soft, full of conviction. Soon she was crying alongside him, her tears of relief and sorrow mixing with his.

When their tears had run dry and a poignant calm had filled the room Sakura spoke again, "Syaoran. You are not to blame for this. You hold no responsibility. No one blames you. Your family surely doesn't. They don't hate you, they love you. In fact they need you. Your mom is going to depend on your support. And now you're the only male of the family. You're needed and wanted. And if you ever feel otherwise you have plenty of people to set you straight." Sakura gently brushed her hand across his cheek. "And you're looking at one of them."

Syaoran reached up and put his hand over hers, stilling it on his face. "Don't ever leave me….please?"

Sakura nearly broke into fresh tears at the sight of her broken friend his eyes a spider web of grief. He looked so frail, begging. What would happen if he lost another person close to him?

"It's alright. I'll be here whenever you need me. And I promise to never willingly leave. I want to be with you always." Sakura vowed.

Their hands intertwined, sliding away from his face. Soon the two drifted off into sleep, exhausted by the emotional toll of the day, in one another's arms.

XxXxXxXxXxXx(present)xXxXxXxXxXxX

Sakura remembered her decision after that day. She had promised to never confess her feelings again. Maybe it had been silly and cowardly of her, but after that moment she knew it would be inane. She realized that it had never even crossed Syaoran's mind that the love she spoke of could be anything other than a familial kind. It was just too big a risk to take again. How could she have explained she had a romantic feeling for one who barely realized she was one of the female population? So instead she had waited, in hope that Syaoran's view of her would change and then she could tell him and then he might love her back and then…

'And then, and then and then,' Sakura mentally mocked herself. 'What's past is past. No point in moping about it.' Sakura shook off the memory, and began to make her way up the little rise. Slowly she bent beside Syaoran, placing the flower against the marble headstone. Although he did not acknowledge her presence, she knew Syaoran was glad she was there. She only wished she could do more.

Sakura was on quite familiar terms with the agony of losing a parent, the emptiness it left inside. But when it had happened to her with the death of her mother she had still been quite young, not fully understanding what had happened. All she knew was that her mother was gone and she missed her terribly. And it was Syaoran who came to her aid. He started doing little things just to make a smile appear on her sad face. A single flower in her cubbyhole. A chocolate chip cookie magically appearing in her lunchbox. A coloring book even made its way into her backpack. Of course at the time Syaoran wouldn't admit to it, but she knew it was him because that's how he always was. He had a good heart but was shy to admit it. He had always been there to support her. From bringing her school assignments when she was sick to giving her rides to school to valiantly fighting off slime balls to even pulling an all-nighter to help her pass a math final. And here all she was doing was squatting beside him in silence. She almost wished their friends knew the whole truth of Li's death so maybe they could offer some comfort. But beyond Meiling, they only knew that Syaoran's father had passed away, not the details of it.

Sakura felt him reach for her hand and she clasped her hand in his with a gentle squeeze affirming her presence. Despite Sakura's doubt of how helpful she was being; to Syaoran having her just be there beside him was more than enough. The loneliness always seemed to pale whenever she was around.

The two teens stayed huddled over the grave until Fuutie came to call them for breakfast and to get prepared for another day of school.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

A/N: Aiyaa, such drama drama. Thanks for all the reviews. You're the coolest people in the world.


	18. A Meeting of Skin

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 17: A Meeting of Skin**

"Well, well, well, late again I see." Syaoran snickered as Sakura rushed into the back room of the dojo. "Good thing sensei isn't here today."

"Sorry. I…lost track of time." Sakura mumbled as she dropped her bag to the floor and joined Syaoran in stretching.

"Got a little distracted did we?" Syaoran teased, then continued in a light tone. "Maybe Eriol shouldn't drive you over here anymore if it's gonna keep turning into a make out session."

Despite this friendly joke, Syaoran was mentally hitting himself for such a dangerous comment as he saw the cheery red blush creep up her face proving his guess to be true. 'You idiot! Could you sound more jealous? Stupid, stupid, stupid!'

As Syaoran beat himself up like the adolescent he was, Sakura was also beginning to chide herself. Not only had she felt embarrassed when Syaoran suggested her tardiness was due to her playing a game of tonsil hockey with Eriol, she had felt , well…almost guilty, like she had betrayed him. 'That's silly. I've done nothing wrong! I'm over him.' Sakura protested. "You mean like the times you were late from drooling over Tomoyo?" 'Sakura could you sound any more pathetic? Yeah let's make a dig at his EX-girlfriend. Key word EX.'

"Well at least no spit swapping was involved." Syaoran shot back. 'Spit swapping? Smooth Syaoran. Real smooth. I'm sure Sakura will be impressed by your ability to sound like an idiot and a jealous loser all at the same time.'

The two continued their mental tirades as they warmed up, their internal frustrations rising. But alas, as what can happen when tensions mount between two teens, friction can occur. Lucky for them they had the perfect situation to release some of that pressure through our all time favorite outlet. That's right everyone…physical aggression.

"Ready for a grade A butt whooping?" Sakura taunted as she rose from the floor shaking out the last kinks in her arms.

"The only butt that's gonna be whooped is yours." Syaoran countered as readied his body, taking a stance across from his female opponent.

The two began circling watching the other's body for any hint of attack or even better of a weak point. Their spars were a test of their skills to use combinations of any style of martial arts they had learned to disable the other. They were normally a nice little exercise of trading blows. But today's match was anything but normal. Rather then their calm and cool, focused selves, Sakura and Syaoran were anything but focused considering how high emotions were running. Let's just say their feelings might have well been doing drugs.

Sakura was the first to attack, kicking her right leg toward Syaoran's midsection in hopes of shaking his equilibrium a bit. But Syaoran twisted out of the way and in turn attempted a similar move with his arms. Sakura blocked his offense with her forearms, the two exchanging a few rather pointless hits. They locked arms, each using their strength in attempt to knock the other over but when Syaoran felt her breath on his cheek, he immediately jumped back trying to hide his fluster as Sakura worked to regain her balance.

Sakura noticed a little twitch in Syaoran's right leg. 'He's going to kick.' She predicted, planning to counter with a sweep to knock him off his feet. But as his foot began to lift off the ground and she took her aim, Syaoran switch the course of his leg catching her off guard as he swept it across her legs. 'He tricked me!' She growled as she saw the smirk appear on his face.

But Sakura had the pleasure to see that gloating expression turn to shock as she threw her collapsing body toward his, taking his weight down with hers. The two hit the matted floor with a minute 'whoosh' as the air was pressed out of the mats. The two rolled around, a tangle of limbs, each trying to gain the upper hand. There was almost an urgency to their movements, a little more force and frenzy behind their pushes. It was like they were being driven by an unseen force.

Sakura managed to wrap her knees around Syaoran's torso and with a little maneuvering, Sakura managed to straddle Syaoran, holding him to the ground. She smirked down at the momentarily immobilized Syaoran. This rather suggestive position shattered whatever little shred of focus he had retained as certain kinds of thoughts wandered through his mind. 'She's on me…I…uhhh'

Syaoran tried to shake the thoughts and images away. To do that, a change in situations was definitely in order. Grabbing her hips, Syaoran twisted her waist as he flung his weight over. Sakura's eyes widened giving a squeak of surprise as she felt her body lifting up. They rolled till Sakura's back was on the mat, Syaoran leaning over her, his amber eyes alight with success while her green ones glared daggers.

Sakura protested this treatment by trying to shift his weight so she could flip him over again. Sakura tightened her knees around his midsection and pushed at his restraining arms with her hands. But she was not able to dislodge his weight, so as his hands we're pushed off the mat Syaoran instead lost his balance causing his body to collapse on Sakura's. 'Brilliant move,' Sakura scolded her mistake as Syaoran worked to pull himself off of her. He placed his arms on the mat to raise him up but paused when he saw how close they were.

And there they froze, Syaoran leaning over Sakura their bodies pressed against one another as their breaths came raggedly, whether from their exertions or their current position was debatable. Sakura felt it again. That rising in pressure, almost like being in an airplane at takeoff where the air seems to thicken and squash you down. She searched his eyes trying to find what was going on, only to find him as clueless as she was. But neither could look away. And then it happened, the moment both had been yearning for.

Who knows who moved first and in all truth neither noticed nor cared as their lips met in a breathtaking kiss. Sakura shivered from the sweet pressure of Syaoran's mouth against hers.

It was not just a simple kiss. This kiss was one fueled by desire, heightened by frustration and connected by something deeper, undefined but present nevertheless. Needless to say, their socks would have been blown off had they been wearing any.

Syaoran's hand trailed down to rest slightly under her shirt at her hips discovering the contrast of her warm smooth skin and the resisting cottony fabric. Sakura had one arm wrapped around his neck the other hand was grasped in his their palms pressing into each other.

The two finally broke when oxygen became vital to their survival but this did not stop what they had been working on. Instead Syaoran began to brush feather light kisses along Sakura's neck sending another wave of tingles through her. It was fire everywhere they touched, growing with every kiss, every meeting of skin.

"Syaoran…" Sakura's voice called out barely at a whisper.

And reality came crashing in.

Syaoran pulled back and Sakura's eyes had flown wide open. 'We….I….' No coherent thought seemed to connect in Sakura's or Syaoran's minds as they stared at one another. Before either could try to make sense of what had just happened the chattering of arriving students in the front room came wafting in.

Sakura panicked, her body running on instinct, following what scientists have classified as 'flight' mode. She pushed herself out from under a stunned Syaoran. And before he could even stop her, Sakura had grabbed her bag and shoes bolting from the room.

Syaoran merely knelt on the floor staring unseeing at the door that Sakura had run through. 'We…kissed…'

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

A/N: Short but sweet. Hope y'all enjoy.


	19. Things Are Gonna Get Ugly

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 18: Things Are Gonna Get Ugly**

Sakura ran down the street, her heart pounding in her ears. Her mind was a whirring blank, too shocked to think straight. Habit guided her body through the familiar neighborhood to the simple two story house, turning up into the doorway, yanking the door open, slamming it behind her as she dashed up the stairs.

Once in her room she fell against the closed door trying to catch her breath. For years she had waited for this moment. Yearned for it. Cried over its delay. And now here it came to slap her in the face and the only thing she could think to do was run, just get away from it all.

Slowly she made her way across her room and was stopped by the movement on her left, her reflection. She turned face front to the mirror above the hip height dresser captivated by her image. The girl in the glass seemed so different from herself with auburn hair shimmering in the vibrant burning rays of a setting sun, the creamy skin flushed almost glowing like a candle was beneath, and most of all those striking green eyes burning with an intensity so strong it scared her. And there resting below her neck was the pale blue stone suspended by a cord, a symbol for all that was going right and wrong in her life. She stood entranced by the bauble wondering how such a simple word could cause so much turmoil. She managed to wrench her gaze away and went to the drawer where her precious journal was kept, where every important event, feeling, or moment had been painstakingly described to the minutest of details.

Sakura flopped on the bed placing the little notebook in front of her, opening it to the first unused page. Raising a pen to it she wrote…she wrote….she wrote nothing. Not a word could she place on the blank paper. At the moment the memory was just that, a memory. Some weird fantastical dream that maybe, just maybe her mind had made up. It seemed that if she put it into words then it would somehow become real. Sighing she shut the journal and shoved it under her mattress.

Frustrated she jumped off the bed, pacing the room, running her hand through her hair. Why was this happening? This had to be some weird dream.

There was a knock at the door pulling Sakura from her thoughts.

"Yes?" She called out tentatively.

Her brother's head popped into view through the doorway. "Hey squirt, dinner's ready."

"Okay, I'll be down in a sec." Sakura replied.

Toya started to retreat, then paused and looked back in questioningly, "Is everything alright?"

Sakura flushed guiltily for a moment as the feeling Syaoran's lips on hers came to mind followed by the blind panic of getting caught. 'Does he know? Is it written on my face?' And many other paranoid thoughts ran through her head before common sense kicked in. "Yeah, I'm fine. Practice was just a little…tiring." Sakura lied, her eyes not quite meeting his.

Toya looked a little unconvinced but merely nodded and left.

Sakura flopped back down on the bed with a sigh of relief. 'What has gotten into me?' But that had to be the stupidest question considering what had just occurred not more than an hour ago. In such a little amount of time the world as she had known it had turned upside down. Her best friend had given her a kiss that she could still feel the remnants of. It was like he was still there, the impression of his hand still on her hip, his lips still on hers, the sweet shocks that it sent through her.

'So what now? What did it mean? Why did he kiss me? Does he like me? But he just broke up with Tomoyo…' An ugly word loomed in her mind. 'Rebound.' What if Syaoran was on the rebound and only kissed her because he was lonely and was reaching out to the nearest female presence? What if she was some kind of replacement, fulfilling that physical need? The doubt slowly crept into her heart, slithering into hope closing around it and eventually strangling it. 'What was I thinking? Like Syaoran would just magically want me. It was just some weird hormonal mistake.' And if in the rare chance that it wasn't, well Syaoran would need to be the one to clarify that. Sakura had been hurt enough by loving him, and now that she'd finally gotten the strength to move on she was protesting like a little child from going back down that road again.

With that decided, Sakura rose to have dinner with her pain in the ass brother. But she had to admit that they had been getting along a little more civilly now that Fujitaka was finally gone. The dig had been delayed due to political unrest in Peru. There was talk of rebellion for a while and a switch in governments making the current government very suspicious and nervous. They had not been too keen on letting foreigners into their borders fearing they would ally themselves with the rebels. But the disturbance simmered, and Fujitaka soon joined his crew in Peru leaving his two children to their own devices. The only rule he set down before his departure was that the house was to still be standing on his return. The true words of a father.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx(school)XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

While things on the home front were smooth sailing, those at school were anything but.

Meiling waltzed into the cafeteria with a content sigh, quite pleased with herself at talking her way out of another detention. 'And who says teens today are losing their verbal skills' she smirked as she took a seat at the usual table and unloading the contents of her lunch sack hoping to find anything remotely close to sugar. Meiling's eyebrows wrinkled in slight questioning as she saw Chiharu wince near her.

"Hmmmm," Chiharu mumbled as she rubbed her lips gently with her fingers.

"What's wrong?" Tomoyo inquired.

Chiharu looked down at the little box of orange juice sitting in front of her at the table. "When I took a sip my lips kinda burned. I think they're starting to get chapped. Anyone got some chapstick or something?"

"You betcha." Sakura piped up enthusiastically. "What kind do you want?"

"Uhhh, what do you have?"

Sakura hefted her back pack onto her lap with bit of a groan at the weight, then began to rummage through the contents pulling up tubes of various shapes, colors, and sizes and dropping them. Those present at the table watched with wide eyed wonder at the ever growing pile. Just when it seemed that Sakura had an endless supply, she finally put her bag back on the floor looking quite proud of the collection before her. She noticed the stunned expressions of her fellow classmates. "What?" She inquired.

"Just exactly how many do you have?" Meiling asked, voicing what the others had been thinking.

"Well…I just liked to be prepared." Sakura suggested as a defense for her lip gloss fetish.

"For what? A worldwide shortage of lip care products?" Meiling teased as the others laughed. "Well if that ever happens we know who to turn to, that's for sure."

Chiharu looked rather befuddled at how to even begin searching for a suitable choice in the massive pile. Tentatively she pulled at one near the middle not noticing the quivering the rest of the tubes began to emit until it was too late.

"Look out! Avalanche!" Meiling called out dramatically as the great numbers of tubes began to roll in all directions over the table and over the edge, making an escape attempt. Chaos ensued as the friends scrambled on their hands and knees to retrieve the runaway lip glosses, hearing the occasional 'eeeek' of a student who discovered the mistake of stepping on a stray lip gloss since they are of a rotund shape. And when pressure is exerted they have the horrendous habit of rolling over, knocking the person off balance and causing many to find themselves with their butts on the cafeteria floor.

Sakura couldn't but help but laugh as she crawled under the table, gathering the run away lip glosses back into her bag making a mental note of which ones were returned so she would know which ones were still M.I.A. (missing in action.) 'Aha!' her mind cried out triumphantly as she spotted one of her favorites, a lip balm named Mango Madness hiding behind a chair leg, cowering from her she was sure. She lunged across the distance and was surprised when her hand wrapped not around the small plastic tube but instead something soft and warm. A hand. Slowly she looked up to locate the owner, already half knowing who it was, but couldn't stop herself from looking anyway. Her eyes met rich brown ones. Sakura nearly drowned in those eyes, but quickly as if they had been doused with cold water they jumped apart and their eyes darted around looking anywhere but at the person in front of them.

And this was how it had been since that earth shattering kiss not more than a week ago. Neither spoke of it to anyone including each other, Sakura for fear it meant nothing to him, and Syaoran thought Sakura hadn't wanted it to happen because she had run away. But they couldn't act like nothing had happened either. It was like walking on eggshells around one another. Sakura kept blocking the memory while Syaoran seemed to be haunted by it, never leaving him alone. They talked less to one another and there were way too many moments of catching each other's eye and then averting them quickly for anyone to even try to count. Sakura was focusing on others, jumping wholeheartedly into even the most simple of conversations, while Syaoran became withdrawn and brooding, pulling away from the ever confusing world. And their changing behavior did not go unnoticed. Definitely not with three, very intrigued by the going-ons of the two best friends, watching them like hawks circling the sky.

For Tomoyo it was further confirmation that she did the right thing in letting go. But now she couldn't help but worry for her rather clueless friend. Both Eriol and Syaoran wanted Sakura and she was afraid her friend might get torn apart if they fought over her like little boys can do.

Meiling had an even further worry for she was privy to the knowledge that at one time Sakura was in love with Syaoran, and just maybe still was. Meiling also knew that something had happened. She had been visiting the Li residence when Syaoran had come back from practice looking shook up. He had barely touched his food or spoken but when Aunt Yelan had brought up how practice had gone Syaoran's eyes had widened like a deer caught in headlights and he rambled like a drunkard. 'Yes indeed, something has happened between those two. But what exactly?' She just wondered how this drama in waiting was to be played out. Mainly with how Eriol was going to take part in this, and if Sakura was given a choice who would she choose. Meiling of course knew where her loyalties lay, with her cousin. She had watched Syaoran and Sakura orbit round one another, always being there for each other, their lives inseparable. They were supposed to be together. But just because things should be, doesn't mean they will be. She wished all of them luck for the upcoming trials that were to strike them. 'Things are gonna get ugly.'

The last member of the growing love triangle was working to fight off the nagging fears that were beginning to eat away at his insides. Eriol was normally a calm, collected person, and this gnawing worry seemed to be beyond his control. His mind was filled with thoughts like 'Syaoran wants her. What if she finds out?' 'She used to love him. Does she still?' 'Will I lose her?' 'I can't lose here. I can't.' He couldn't help as the feelings washed over him like a giant wave whenever he witnessed a little 'moment' between Sakura and Syaoran, or when he caught Syaoran giving what could only be described as longing glances at Sakura. He felt like going over to Syaoran and knocking him about. Instead of following such violent cravings, he had done something that he was not too proud of either. Yesterday he had cornered Syaoran and told him to stay away from Sakura. Which of course Syaoran had merely commented that he and Sakura were friends since birth and he was not going to give that up just because Eriol was feeling insecure. And that was the problem; Eriol was beginning to feel very insecure.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

A/N: And the pace continues, an action chapter followed by a reflective chapter. I'm so sorry if I've been neglecting my reviewers. I'm itching to personally respond to each one but again the fear of deletion hangs over my head. So just know that you mean the world to me. Thank you for the time you take to respond to this crazy crazy story. Oh and thank you to a reviewer who mentioned that the summary sounded like so many others so I'm gonna try changing it around a bit.


	20. Dangerous Ground

**Reality's Dream**

Chapter 19: Dangerous Ground 

Sakura shivered as she entered her house, drenched from head to toe due to the torrential downpour that was presently pounding the ground outside.

"Who knew the walk from the car could be so hazardous?" Syaoran joked as he followed behind her, shutting the door in their wet wake. A storm that had initially been predicted to break tomorrow had arrived a day early catching the teens unaware and unprepared for the water that now fell in buckets from the gunmetal gray sky.

Sakura managed a weak smile at his attempt at a normal conversation. But although they managed from time to time to have a decent conversation, things were definitely still way off between them as another awkward silence hung in the air. Sakura fumbled for something to do or say that would release them from this tension.

"Ummm…we can just grab some of Toya's clothes and then stick your wet ones in the dryer before you leave." Sakura suggested as both removed their sopping shoes and socks so as not to trail the dirty water about the floors of the house.

"Where is the tyrannous Toya anyway?" Syaoran asked looking around for any sign of the sibling. He was not up for another night of defending his right to be around Sakura or trading insults with a guy who obviously irritated to no end by his existence.

"He's out with friends. Probably gonna be back late." Sakura replied as they climbed the stairs and went into her brother's immaculately clean room finding a fresh pair of pants and a t-shirt for Syaoran to borrow. 'It's a good thing Toya's not here,' Sakura thought with a tiny smile, 'If he saw Syaoran in his clothes World War Three might just start.' She left her friend there to change as she went to her own room.

Sakura peeled off her wet clothes and traded them for a pair of black sweats and a loose tank top. She was occupied with brushing her wet mess of hair when she heard a soft rap at her door.

"Sakura? Is it safe for me to enter?" She heard Syaoran's voice questioning on the other end of the wooden border. She could not explain why her heart was racing as she told him she would be down in a moment to help with fixing dinner. As she listened to his fading footsteps she let out a sigh relaxing the tensed muscles of her body. 'What in the world am I doing? I'm acting like a complete idiot.' She chided herself. 'We're just friends!' But no matter how many times she chanted that mantra she could not truly convince herself. Friends definitely do not kiss each other like they had over a week ago.

Sakura was placing the brush on the mirrored dresser when she was plunged into a startling darkness. She let out a little 'eeep' of shock and then realized that the power had gone out, her eyes adjusting to the shadowy dimness. She whimpered as thunder began to rumble ominously in the sky above. It was like being transported back ten years, and she was a little lone girl quivering with fear and looking for protection.

Sakura wandered down the dark hall, lit only by the dark gray murk produced from the window, the falling rain seen trickling down in the meager light it cast. As she crept down the stairs, holding onto the railing tightly in case she tripped, she heard a noise coming from somewhere nearby. Her skin prickled, brain alert, adrenaline rushing through her veins causing tremors with the immense power it lent her body. "Syaoran?" Sakura whispered weakly, her paranoid mind having visions of an intruder in the house and was afraid to alert them of her presence. But instead of a response, all she could hear was the harsh drumming of the rain on the roof and the occasional call of thunder. She tiptoed to the kitchen, eyes flickering to and fro, and peered inside. A flash of lightning revealed a room full of electronic appliances but not a human presence. 'Where is he?' She wanted desperately to find him. He would keep her safe.

"Sakura."

The girl with such a name jumped out of her skin with fright before whirling around behind her to discover Syaoran standing there. Her face shone with relief then was rapidly clouded with anger as she marched up to him giving a slight punch in the arm. "That's for scaring me." The scowl then disappeared when a clap of thunder exploded, and she threw herself into his arms. How she hated thunderstorms and the power they had over her.

"Shhhhh." Syaoran soothed, rubbing Sakura's back, knowing how scrambled storms made her. Once she had calmed enough to be reasoned with, he spoke. "The storm just knocked out the power. I'll go check the circuit breaker and see if there's anything I can do. Why don't you find some flashlights or candles or something? Okay?" He looked down into trusting eyes. Scared as she was, Sakura knew that he would protect her. For a moment they stood there, unsure in the darkness what each other's eyes were saying. Another clap of thunder broke them apart, reminding them of their tasks. "Be sure to leave the door unlocked so I can get back in,' Syaoran said, his voice a little rough like it was hard for him to speak. Sakura merely nodded in response, finding her voice to be beyond her reach.

As Syaoran went outside, Sakura went back to the kitchen to search for matches, remembering that the flashlights and battery powered lanterns were in the garage, a place she definitely did not want to venture into alone. So candles became the logical solution for the moment. Rummaging through the drawers and cabinets she came up empty handed. 'We must be out.' Then she remembered the pack that she kept in her room. It was one she had snagged from a restaurant when she had had to double with Eriol for Tomoyo and Syaoran. She cringed a little at the painful memory as she once again ascended the stairs.

Sakura pushed open her door a little hesitantly. She almost followed the childish impulse to jump into her bed and hide under the covers. Instead Sakura made her way to the mirrored dresser, pulling out the top drawer, her fingers searching blindly among the contents for the sharp cardboard edges of the box of matches. As her hand brushed its smooth surface she heard Syaoran enter the room.

"I couldn't find anything wrong. I think the power's down for the whole area."

Sakura nodded as she pulled one of the candles on the dresser closer to her. It was a pure white studded with glittery moons and stars, definitely not the resembling the night sky in its current condition. She was about to strike a match on the box's edge when she felt Syaoran standing behind her, his body heat radiating in waves across her back making it very hard for her to focus. When he did and said nothing she tried to relax her body that had automatically tensed when he had approached. She took a deep breath and raised the match to the box but her hands were shaking so much that she could not put enough force into striking it, and it merely scratched harmlessly on the side rather then igniting. Sighing in frustration she tried again and again to no avail. Suddenly Sakura felt Syaoran brush against her back as he reached around her, his hands resting over hers, steady and strong, guiding them.

The match hissed as it was scraped along the scratchy side of the box, a small flame poofing into existence casting a very feeble glow on the room followed by a hint of sulfur permeating the air. Syaoran moved their hands toward the awaiting wick of the candle watching the flame double as the wick lit. He guided the still lighted match to his face, blew it out and then they dropped the box on the dresser. But he didn't remove his hands or pull away. Instead they stood there, his hands over hers, looking into the mirror ahead of them, staring into the reflection of one another's eyes. Sakura felt a burst of trepidation, different then the panic of the darkness or the thunder. Rather an exciting fear of the unknown. She wanted to run away, but she once again knew that she was safe with Syaoran. Wherever this was leading, they would go together. And she trusted in that.

Sakura became aware of his right hand slowly making its way up her bare arm. Her eyes closed on their own accord, relishing in the gentle slide of his fingers, feeling the shiver of delight that course through her as he reached her neck brushing his fingertips up the side to rest at her jaw. Sakura felt herself turn to face him, her eyes searching his for some explanation, but she noticed as her hand moved up to his face on its own accord, and watched as it slid across his cheek in a gentle caress.

Syaoran began to bend his head down to hers and she rose to her tiptoes. Just as their lips were about to meet, Sakura pulled back an inch, unsure. Was this the right thing to do? But pushing doubt aside she was then drawn back in. She leaned in to find Syaoran hovering behind a little, also uncertain of the possibilities that lay before him. The two continued this battle of near kisses, their breaths mingling, their hearts racing until that blissful moment when they felt their lips barely brush, finally leaning in to solidify the kiss. Their lips met in a tender and achingly sweet kiss. One filled with promises and growing desires and love, most of all.

Soon the sweetness grew into a hunger, gentleness swept away by passion. Syaoran's arms drew her in, pressing her small form tightly to his. Sakura trembled in delight as his tongue trailed her bottom lip, her knees quivering, heart aching, wanting to give way from the delirious ecstasy of it all. She opened her mouth, allowing for the kiss to deepen. Her hands tightened their grasp on the back of his shirt as she felt the room drop away. Not breaking their kiss, Syaoran bent down picking Sakura up under her thighs, he lifted her onto the dresser behind her. The candle beside them extinguished by the draft they created.

Sakura broke from the kiss breathless resting her palms against his chest, feeling the stampeding of his heart beneath her fingers. Syaoran's eyes questioned, 'Was this too much? Did she want to stop?' She responded by sliding her hands up his shoulders, behind his neck, guiding his face back to hers. Sakura emitted a small moan when she felt his hand trail up her back under the shirt, eliciting shivers to race down her body. Her mind blanked as her senses went on overload at the simple touch of his hands on her back and stomach. The next thing she knew his fingers were waiting at the bottom of the tank top giving it a tentative tug. Sakura lifted her arms so that Syaoran could lift the cottony material above her head. She repeated the action with Syaoran's shirt, enjoying the delicious feeling of skin on skin when they embraced again. She couldn't get enough of the hot smooth touch of his skin against hers and never wanted it to end.

Sakura felt Syaoran begin to pull back. In protest she wrapped her legs around his waist securing him to her. A little voice in her head mentioned that this was far beyond just a little kissing and that they should probably stop and figure out what was going out. But neither wanted to let go, both lost in the feeling of being with one another, sucked under by the growing drive to be closer. Sakura felt the world shift as Syaoran lifted her up, carrying her over to the bed, gently lowering her onto its covers. Syaoran hovered over her, his brown eyes vibrant, brushing a strand of hair from her face with his hand and whispered, "Sakura…I…I…"…'love you.' He had discovered it when they had kissed in the dojo, realization running over him like an 18 wheeler on a rampage. The girl who had always been in his life, was the one person he never wanted to leave it; but he couldn't say how much she meant to him.

Unable to confess the words he felt, he hoped she could feel them when he pressed his lips to hers again. The next moments were a whir as they continued to kiss, the desire mounting, both recognizing that they were headed toward dangerous ground but trusting in one another entirely. Syaoran began to trail butterfly kisses from her jaw, lingering at her neck, down to her collarbone…

"Sakura I…"

A voice cut like a knife through the air slamming the two painfully back to reality.

They broke apart and looked to find Eriol standing frozen in the doorway, uncomprehending blue eyes wide, stunned at the scene before him: Sakura and Syaoran embraced, legs entangled and shirtless.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	21. The One Person He Couldn't Lose

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 20: The One Person He Couldn't Lose **

Only the sounds of the raging storm outside and heavy breathing could be heard in the bedroom, the three teens frozen, as if their bodies had just stopped functioning while their minds went into overdrive.

Eriol stood, rooted to the ground, unsure of what his eyes were showing him. Here he was, knowing of Sakura's fear of storms, swinging by on his way home to if she was alright, and finding the door unlocked had let himself in. Whatever he had expected to find, it definitely was not Sakura and Syaoran in bed together with articles of clothing absent.

Syaoran moved off of Sakura grabbing for the nearest shirt within arms reach and handed it to her. Sakura gratefully took what turned out to be a pajama top from the previous night and pulled it over her head. She felt like she had just woken up from a nap and was in that disorienting state of trying to determine dream from reality. She rose unsteadily off the bed going toward Eriol who was still frozen in the doorway, his blue eyes unreadable. "Look…Eriol, I…" But before she could find the right words to convey what was happening he had stepped past her, eyes blazing at his once best friend.

"You son of a bitch." He growled. "I warned you to stay away from her." His voice was hard and livid, something she was not accustomed to hearing from Eriol's mouth. Sakura was still having trouble processing what was happening. 'He warned Syaoran to stay away? Why? And why is he acting like I'm not a part of this? Was I not there on the bed with Syaoran…'

Syaoran was having similar thoughts, but he felt the anger was rightly aimed. He had been the first to initiate contact; he'd been the one harboring impure thoughts of his best friend knowing she was going out with another guy. On an irrational impulse he thought to keep Eriol's rage directed at him, to keep the blame from Sakura. And to accomplish this he tried to provoke Eriol, attacking his weak points. "You're just jealous because you're dating her yet I've gone further with her than you have…You've been worried all along because she wants me and you know it," he taunted not even sure of what he was saying, just sure that it was what Eriol did not want to hear. "Maybe even more then she wants you."

Sakura opened her mouth to protest before she realized that what he said had a ring of truth to it. She wanted Syaoran, there was no denying it. And had Eriol not walked in, who knows how far things would have gone.

But before Syaoran could let another word out, before Sakura could even attempt to interrupt, Eriol had punched Syaoran in the jaw sending him reeling backwards, a look of pure loathing blazed in Eriol's eyes at the mere suggestion. Those words encompassed all that he had been worrying about for the past few weeks. Syaoran shook off the blow by taking a swing at Eriol. The two began brawling around the room with Sakura yelling at them to stop. Sakura's helplessness quickly turned to anger as the boys paid her no heed and became beyond frustrated with them, herself, and this whole mess they were in. Her head was a bog of confused emotions, the last hour a rollercoaster ride of fear, excitement, lust, shock, and worry. She just wanted it to all go away. But that was the one thing that would never happen. The can of worms had been opened, nothing left but to face the aftermath.

She spotted an opportunity when Syaoran shoved Eriol away, sending him tumbling toward the door. Eriol picked himself back up, charging at Syaoran when Sakura jumped in between them one arm facing palm out toward each aggressor. "If either of you wish to hurt one another anymore, you'll have to hit me first." She spat out glaring at each one of them. She saw Syaoran relax his stance and then she turned to Eriol. She watched the fire fade from his eyes as he looked at her. The anger turned to hurt and anguish, and before she could say anything Eriol was turning away leaving the words "I hope you're happy," lingering in his wake.

Sakura felt herself deflate like a balloon, all the air rushing out leaving her to collapse on her bed, head in hands. Syaoran was standing above her, struggling to form the right words to say. To say how he felt. Why he acted the way he did. To try and comfort her. "Sakura I…."

"Get out." She whispered, a hitch in her voice betraying the tears that were about to fall.

"But…" He couldn't abandon her like this. Not after what had just happened, especially between them. Syaoran reached out a hand to touch her shoulder when her head snapped up, green orbs blazing, shining through a layer of ready to be shed tears.

"GET OUT!" She bit out more forcefully, and then pleadingly "...please…" She was about to break and did not want him to witness it.

Nodding slowly Syaoran relented, leaving the room stopping with a last glance at the door to see Sakura staring at the floor fixedly trying not to cry.

Her mind was racing, replaying over and over again what had just occurred, especially what Syaoran had done. 'How could he have said those things? Those awful things?' Sakura shuddered. The first teardrop worked its way ahead of the rest slowly blazing a trail down her cheek, clinging to her chin, a crystal clear drop of salty sadness. '… He treated me like a trophy. Like some kind of prize to throw in Eriol's face…' The tears were starting to flow at a steady pace, the floodgates now opening as she tried to ignore the pain the realizations caused her. 'He doesn't care about me…He doesn't love…" Sakura let out a sob on that thought before bottling it back inside herself, trying to steel herself against it. "It was jealousy." She tried to forget his touch, his kiss, the image of them in the mirror searing itself into her memory. How his arms felt so good around her. So different from when she had been with Eriol. She shoved it aside, 'It's all a lie!'

Then she remembered the other party involved. 'Oh god Eriol…' She had hurt him, and badly, when he had been so kind and caring these past few months. And she had just tossed it away like a used tissue. And he didn't deserve that. Sakura wiped her tear streaked face with her palms, standing up. She had to apologize. He deserved that much.

Sakura ran down the stairs, jamming her body into the first coat she found coat and her feet into some kind of slip-on shoes at the door running out into the rain to the nearest bus stop.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Sakura waited a moment before knocking on the door. 'What am I doing here? What could I possibly say to make things better? To make up for what I've done?' But despite her hesitance, she knew that she needed to at least try. She raised a trembling fist emitting a few muffled thumps on the wood. When the door finally pulled back to reveal a darkened home, she could not miss the look of surprise that crossed Eriol's face as he took in her wet and haggard appearance. 'I probably look like a drowned rat.'

"What…What are you doing here?" He asked incredulously and concerned as he let her in. "You're soaked. Did you walk here?" Sakura nodded.

"And I ca-aught the bus," she stuttered, following Eriol into a hallway.

"But why?" He stopped at a cabinet in the wall, opening it and pulling out a terry cloth towel for her to wrap around herself.

"We need to talk…" Sakura began, accepting the fluffy material but only holding it limply in her hands.

"Look I understand…" Eriol interrupted. Sakura opened her mouth to continue but he held up his hand in protest. "I knew what I was getting into. I knew you were still in love with him when we I asked you out," looking her dead in the eyes before dropping his gaze. "And we weren't official or anything. You didn't do anything wrong."

Sakura was stunned. He was neither angry at her nor blaming her. This night and these boys were beyond comprehension. Nothing made sense. "Official or not, it wasn't right for me to have been so reckless when I knew that you care for me. And I'm sorry you got caught up in my idiocy. I thought I was over him when I wasn't and that wasn't fair to you. You've done nothing but be there to support me and I repay you by being with another guy. You have no idea how sorry I am."

"I took that gamble by going out with someone who's heart was with someone else. And I'm glad…" He paused a moment and swallowed hard. "I'm glad Syaoran loves you back. You'll be good together." Eriol choked out unable to meet her eyes.

Sakura bit her lower lip letting her teeth slide over her mouth before responding, her eyes unseeing as she thought of her earlier realizations. "We're not together." The words were hollow, devoid of emotion as they echoed in the silence of the hallway.

Eriol's eyes narrowed in confusion waiting for an explanation. He'd seen them together. He knew Syaoran wanted Sakura. Nothing was adding up.

"It wasn't love. It was some weird possession thing." She thought back on the things Syaoran had said to Eriol. "He didn't want me; he just didn't want you to have me." No matter how she tried she couldn't keep the bitterness from her voice. "And I foolishly thought it was something more… But now I know, and it's just…over." Sakura took a deep breath trying to shake the thoughts away before looking Eriol in the eyes. "I just wish it hadn't hurt you."

With what might have been considered a faint farewell smile Sakura turned to leave but Eriol stopped her.

"Wait." As Sakura faced him again he ran his hand nervously through his hair. "I know this is probably stupid of me considering what happened tonight, but how…how would you feel if we tried becoming friends again. You know, like how things were before it got all complicated?"

Sakura was surprised. She'd just betrayed a good friend of hers and here he was wanting to put it all in the past, to start anew. He'd been there for her in so many ways recently and she desperately wanted to make it up to him. If he wanted her friendship she would give it gladly. She would find some way to make up for her mistakes.

"I think we could all use a friend right now." And with a nod Sakura handed back the towel and left before he could even offer her a ride home. In her mind it just wouldn't be right. Hopefully they could build their friendship back up over time, but right now they were neither lovers nor friends.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Sakura dragged her soaked and chilled body up the stairs, all her energy seemed to have been washed away by the night's events. Not even bothering to test if the lights worked she stumbled into her room her tired eyes taking in the image of Syaoran's silhouette slumped on her bed awaiting her return.

"What are you doing here? Did you stay all this time…how did you get in here?" Her shaking voice rambled, demanding, trying to figure things out. Everything reeled, her nerves shot, everything a frazzled disarray of incoherent thoughts and feelings that never seemed to stop. 'Why?…we kissed…love…possession…make it go away…run…why?'

Syaoran didn't even make a move, his head still pointed toward the floor. "I never made it past your block. Just came back. And sat here…thinking."

Sakura made no response so he continued. "Tonight when I was with you and then after," he shook his head lightly, "I don't think I've ever felt better or worse. I just…It's…" Syaoran let out a sigh trying again. "Look there's something I need to tell you."

It was at that moment that Sakura snapped. All her anger and frustration and confusion came pouring out of her. "I don't want to hear it."

Syaoran rose from the bed his voice pleading, "Please just hear me out." He took a step towards Sakura and she instantly sprang back like a frightened doe. He sighed, "Things got out of control tonight. Things happened and were said and I sat here just trying to figure out how and why, but I could only think of one thing. Only one reason why I would even be with my friend's girl." Even through all the chaos that had happened, he could not consider Eriol anything but a friend. He always had been, and always would be even if they were on opposing sides. "I've wanted to tell you for weeks but I was afraid. And I let it get way out of hand." He tried another step toward her and this time she did not move away, merely watched him guardedly. "Sakura I…I love-"

"No!" Sakura recoiled, shaking her head in refusal. She had slowly been softening as he spoke but whatever bridge Syaoran had been trying to build came crashing down. She couldn't hear him say it. Not those words she had longed to hear for so long. Not now. Not ever. "Love, no you don't feel love." She spat out, her eyes wide and glaring, glancing frantically around like a cornered kitten. "If you loved me you wouldn't have waited till I was with someone else. I mean why now? Why not any of the years we've known each other? No, you only wanted me when it turned out someone else did too. You were just jealous." Her face scrunching in disgust at the thought. "And that's not love. That's possession."

Syaoran looked like he'd been slapped. He wasn't even sure how to respond to her rant, to show that she was wrong. He began, "Sakura that's not true." But Sakura was having none of it.

"I'm not yours to own anymore. For years I would have done anything to make you see me as more than a friend." His eyes widened as the statement registered but Sakura plowed on obstinately. "And I let that blind me, believing there was hope when there wasn't." She was on the edge of tears now. "So please, just stop all of this…" Her tirade slowed down, the edge from her voice fading. "I don't want to be hurt anymore."

The silence hung heavy in the air. Syaoran's eyes were blank, his mouth slightly parted unsure of what he had heard or what to do or what to say. So he did the only thing he could. What his friend wanted. He turned around and with one last glance left.

Sakura stood frozen, cringing when she heard the close of the front door. She felt the slow ache in her throat, the stinging burn as the tears crept back into her eyes trying to escape. 'He loves me…No, no…It's a lie…I don't love him…I can't love him…' Her knees gave out below her, as if her mind in its disorder had shut off the connection to her body. 'Syaoran…' 'He loves me…No, no…It's a lie.' Her knees gave out below her, -'I _don't_ love him…'-as if her mind in its disorder-"I _can't_ love him…'-had shut off the connection to her body……..'Syaoran…'

Sakura awoke in the morning finding herself curled up on the floor of her room having cried herself to sleep at some point in the night. Crying over the one she tried so stubbornly to shut from her heart.

Syaoran spent the night wandering the streets, thinking of the one person he couldn't lose, but maybe already had.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

A/N: And there it is folks, the last chapter before deletion. And what a dramatic one it is. People being stupid all around, and very human. Hope you guys enjoyed it nevertheless. There are two more chapters left I believe but they are only outlined so I don't know when my next update will be especially with school starting. Thank you all for your support, I love reading your reviews.


	22. A Rough Couple of Days

**Reality's Dream**

**Chapter 21**: **A Rough Couple of Days**

Syaoran sat beneath the outstretched limbs of who knows what kind of tree, enjoying how the roots had revolted against the earth, jumping from the ground, providing an elevated place to sit and lean against the tree. He could feel its bark worn rough and ragged with age push against his back, could smell its earthy scent as he breathed deep. It was so peaceful watching the clouds dance lazily in the sky and the long grasses wave in the wind. The sky was a brilliant sapphire, the plants a deep emerald with flowers flashing like hidden jewels among the foliage. It was a picturesque land straight from a fairy tale. 'Couldn't have asked for a better day,' he thought to himself.

"There you are!" A voice rang out from behind. Syaoran leaned to the side of the tree to find Tomoyo approaching up the hill on which the tree resided. "We've been looking everywhere for you," she gently scolded. "Can't keep her waiting," waving a reproachful finger.

With a slight upturn of his mouth Syaoran rose, brushing off the back of his blank pants to make sure no leaves or dirt remained. He definitely did not want a dirty ass, his dirty ass especially, to be captured on video for generations and generations to see. Tomoyo stood before him, reaching forward to straighten his bow tie as he pulled on the bottom of his jacket. "You look quite dashing if I do say so myself," Tomoyo complimented. With his tux back in order, she led Syaoran back down to the massive white tent resting in the little valley below.

The tent's flaps pulled aside to reveal a shadowy interior, the edges and corners filled with people and tables all centered round a lit dance floor, its shiny hardwood gleaming. Once inside, he found himself in the spotlight on the wooden dance floor a soft song being played by the band and an angel in his view. Syaoran couldn't help but think of the night so many years ago when she had been dressed all in white just like this but with wings rather then a veil.

He reached out for her hand watching as she placed it in his the new gold band twinkling on her tiny finger.

"I didn't get to tell you before the ceremony but you look beautiful, Sakura."

Sakura smiled her cheeks flushed from the happiness of the day. "Whoever thought this day would come. Me getting married. You the best man. Us dancing like we used to." It was like time had never passed, their bodies were so fluid in dancing, each knowing intuitively what the other's next move would be.

"Yeah." Syaoran's thoughts traveled back over the years, remembering how it had all happened. How he lost both friends to one another. After that stormy night when feelings were revealed, Sakura refused to speak to Syaoran. He had watched as Sakura and Eriol gradually became close friends again. After high school they even went off to the same college and fell in love while Syaoran could do nothing to stop it. Sakura had eventually let him back in but only after the damage had been done. She kept him at a distance, never letting him fully back in.

Apparently Sakura was thinking of the same thing. The journey that had lead to this day. "I'm so glad we became friends again. That you would be here to share this with me. And for you to be Eriol's best man. I feared the two of you would never get along after what happened. But here we are." She smiled up at her friend, her green eyes glowing with happiness, and unseeing of the sadness in Syaoran's.

"Here we are indeed." Was all Syaoran could reply, the words sounding flat. He couldn't help but think of how she was no longer a part of his life. Sure, they would see each other from time to time. But she and Eriol had just started a life of their own, one that Syaoran had no part in.

Sakura's tone turned soft like one confiding. "You know, that was the hardest day in my life having to accept that you didn't love me the same way I did. I didn't think I would ever be able to love someone else again. Life sure has its surprises." She gave a small laugh.

After a slight pause Syaoran said, "But I did."

"Did what?" Sakura asked, perplexed her mind have quickly forgotten what she had said first.

"I loved you." Syaoran let the words hang in the air, keeping the words he really wanted to say silent. 'It wouldn't be appropriate. She's married.'

But this confession seemed to have shaken the bride. "But…I…" She couldn't seem to gather the words to express her thoughts.

"You wouldn't believe me. And you refused to listen to me." Syaoran answered her confusion.

"I was scared," her voice was as faint as the distant memory she was recalling. "Afraid to hope. To believe that what I wanted would actually come true. I was afraid that it wasn't real and it would hurt even more."

Syaoran swallowed hard, trying to stop the question that was pressing to escape his lips. Until the thought came tumbling out, "Would things have ended up differently had I tried again…made you believe that I really loved you?"

Sakura and Syaoran stared at one another, each afraid of the treacherous ground they were treading again. Afraid to think of what could have been. Their eyes searching each other for the answers that neither could give.

"May I steal my bride away?" A voice interrupted them. Both broke away to find Eriol standing beside the couple, arms extended toward Sakura.

Syaoran leaned in brushing a kiss upon her cheek, whispering in her ear. Then he took Sakura's hand and placed it in Eriol's, and walked off the floor past all the guests through the flaps of the wedding tent.

Walked right out of her life.

Leaving those words ringing in her ear…….'I love you'.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Syaoran bolted awake. His eyes darted around the room putting together the pieces of what was going on. 'I'm in my room…fell asleep…after school…a dream…not real.' He let out a gentle sigh as the separation between dream and reality became more distinct. His mind filled with the images of the dream. The dress. The ring. How beautiful she looked. Handing her to Eriol. Syaoran's heart clenched. His head fell into his hands, the fingers pulling at his temples working to relieve the tension that seemed to be permanently rooted in his skull the past few days.

A gentle tapping echoed in the room. "Yes," Syaoran called, still mentally fuzzy from a midday nap.

The door opened to reveal Yelan. She was stunning in the lighting like one of those iconic paintings of religious deities, her features indistinct in the darkness of Syaoran's room but her form lit up from the hallway lights behind her. Syaoran had the childish urge to fling himself into her arms, to ask her to make everything right again the way only a mother can. But he sat there silently watching her approach the bed.

"Dinner will be ready soon. I wanted to see if you were up."

Syaoran was confused as to why his mother would come in just to tell him about a meal, it wasn't like her. Slowly she lowered herself, perching on the edge of the bed. "I also wanted to see if you were alright." Yelan reached out, her hand gently pushing away a loose strand of hair from her son's face. That simple touch reminded him of what it had been like before his father had died, when he didn't have to be strong, when he leaned on his mother for strength. In that moment, Syaoran was tempted to tell her everything from how he realized he loved Sakura, to fighting with Eriol, to losing Sakura. He wanted to ask for her help. But he couldn't. He didn't even know how or where to begin.

"I'm okay. Just a rough couple of days at school." Syaoran answered, glossing over the truth.

"You sure?"

Syaoran nodded.

"Just know that if there is anything you need or want to tell me, I am right here." Yelan stood up and headed for the door. "Don't give up hope. The sun always comes out in the end." The door clicked shut softly and Syaoran was back in darkness.

His mind floated back over the past few days. How he had wandered the streets aimlessly wondering if Sakura's words were true, had he just wanted her because she was with Eriol? He had been trying to get her to speak to him, to listen to him, to no avail. She avoided him in the hallways dashing into the nearest bathroom to escape him. Ignoring him at the lunch table or in class. She'd gone so far as to not show up for their training. Syaoran didn't know what to do. He was confused, hurt, feeling like an idiot, fearing he'd screwed things up so bad that he had lost Sakura forever, that she never wanted to face him ever again. 'Even in my dreams I couldn't fix things. Maybe I should just give up. Maybe there really is no hope.'

But then the words of a friend appeared. 'Don't let her run away…'

XxXxXxXxXxX(flashback)XxXxXxXxXxX

Syaoran was slowly putting his Chemistry book into his backpack as the classroom slowly emptied of students when he saw Tomoyo approaching his table. His muscles tensed in preparation for another emotional onslaught as he zipped up the bag. Syaoran almost hoped she would pass him by, not feeling up to being dragged back into the complications that had plagued them lately.

When he looked back up Tomoyo was standing right in front of him. She paused for a moment, as if debating whether or not to speak to him. He noticed she was holding her backpack straps so tightly that her fingers had gone white. Then seeming to decide she opened her mouth, and the words that came out were not what Syaoran was expecting. "What is going on between you and Sakura?"

Syaoran stood dumbfounded a million thoughts raced through his cluttered mind wondering how much Tomoyo knew of what had occurred, what she was really asking, and why did she want to know. When he gave no verbal reply she continued on. "Why is Sakura avoiding you? And why are she and Eriol acting only all chummy no longer like a couple? And don't tell me nothing is going on because I've been watching. She didn't come to lunch today. She traded seats away from you in class. And in the hallways she might as well be running in a race for how fast she avoids you. So I repeat my question, what is going on?"

Syaoran still found himself unable to form a response. 'How would she react if I told her what has happened with Sakura? And why is she so desperate to know?'

Tomoyo tried for a third time, breathing deep and her voice growing softer "Ok," she conceded. "I know I am not one to interfere with other people's business." Syaoran's eyebrow arched in disagreement with a tilt of his head. This raised a tiny smile from her, "Oh fine, I do. But I'm usually more subtle about it. Look I don't want details. I don't wanna know," She emphasized. She had learned it was best not to ask for information that could hurt her. "But whatever is going on needs to be fixed. Something is obviously wrong. Even when Sakura and you have fought before you've never ignored each other." Tomoyo searched his eyes as if all the answers to her questions were written in them. Her voice shook, the way it can when fighting to keep it from breaking, as she told him, "I did not let you go so you and Sakura could be miserable."

At that confession Syaoran realized how much Tomoyo had staked in their mutual friend. Tomoyo had learned to step away from Syaoran, to not blame Sakura for the loss because she loved her and wanted her friend to be happy.

"She doesn't want to talk to me. She won't hear a word I say." Syaoran admitted as he collapsed into the nearby chair.

Tomoyo thought for a moment before choosing her words. "Then that means you have something to say that she's afraid to hear." She watched his expression drift away again and leaned in close, as if by closing the distance between them he would heed her message. "Don't let her run away…for both your sakes."

Tomoyo pulled away. As she reached the doorway she gave Syaoran one last glance as he sat at the table lost in thought, and then walked away hoping that her two friends would work out whatever had driven them apart. She hoped for them to find happiness again.

XxXxXxXxXxX(present)XxXxXxXxXxX

'Could it be that Sakura doesn't hate me? That she's scared?'

This thought had been rattling around in his head from the moment Tomoyo suggested it earlier that day. 'Could she have been so scared of what was happening between us that she was pushing me away, not even giving me the chance to make things right?' If that was true then there was hope. There had to be something she was running from. Syaoran could feel his veins begin to flow with adrenaline, tremors running through his hands with the overwhelming possibility. If she was afraid to believe he loved her then he had to make her see. If he didn't try then his dream could come true, if not with Eriol then with some other guy. If he didn't try to right this situation he would always regret letting her go without making sure it was what she wanted.

Jumping off the bed, Syaoran lunged for the keys on the dresser. If he was right then he had to talk to her. Make her listen. And he had a hunch where she would be. If she was struggling as much as he was she would need a release, the dojo. There he would tell her the truth, all of it, no matter what the outcome.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	23. Reality's Dream

**Chapter 22**: **Reality's Dream**

Syaoran waited in the car, staring through the windshield at the steel gray sky. Wind tugged at the leaves that clung to branches as the rest tussled along the parking lot pavement. The threat of a storm loomed, in the air, the sharp ozone smell preluding rain. Thoughts raced through his mind like the leaves in his vision, pulled by an unseen force. He could back out now. Just start the car and head back home. No one would even know. It was a tempting offer, the easy way out.

Syaoran jumped out of the car, shutting the door behind him with a click echoing through the parking lot. The brisk air nipped at his skin reminding him that he had forgotten a jacket. Syaoran pulled back the glass door to the dojo to find the afternoon class ending, the last few students putting their shoes back on and grabbing gym bags. By a row of trophies along the wall stood one of the younger instructors Daniel.

"Hey Syaoran," He called the boy over a look of relief and recognition on his face. "Sakura's still in the back room training and I got plans tonight and because Sensei is sick the night class is canceled. So do you think you two could lock up for me when you are finished?"

"Sure. No problem." Syaoran agreed as Daniel dropped the two keys into his open palm and with a quick thank you dashed out to the blustry parking lot.

Somehow the few feet between him and the back door seemed to take minutes rather than seconds. He could hear his heart beating in his ears, the blood tingling in his fingers.

Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, Syaoran slowly pushed open the door and slipped inside, taking a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting of the room. In the corner he sees her; her back is to him as she vigorously fights an invisible opponent. He stands unsure, not knowing how to announce his presence.

Sakura suddenly stops her attack, her whole boding tensed and alert as if she subconsciously sensed a threat. She whipped around eyes searching the room until settling upon the only other person present.

"What are you doing here?" Sakura spat out, her voice venomous and fists clenched at her sides.

A little shocked at the force of her tone Syaoran took a step back. Thoughts of retreat filled his head fearing that she really did despise him. But then he saw it, in her eyes, the expression like that of a wounded animal, hurt and scared, just wanting to get away from danger. At that moment he knew for certain that Sakura was not truly angry, but afraid and was pushing him away. How much he wished he could pull her into his arms and comfort her. But he knew that she wouldn't allow it.

Like anyone trying to calm a panicked creature, Syaoran adopted an unassuming posture, hands held open in front, saying gently, "We need to talk."

"There is nothing to say" she responded flatly. Dropping her gaze, she brushed past him toward the door.

"I'm not going to let you run." Syaoran called out in a rush in a hope to stop her.

At these words Sakura became rooted to the ground, as if by his wish she could not move. She did not turn towards him and her eyes were rooted to the ground. For all the thoughts that were compelling her to leave, to escape before he could say anything more, there was a tiny part of her that would not let go. It was that part of her that always hoped for the best. And it was hoping passionately that Syaoran had found some way to fix the mess of a relationship they were in now.

Sensing the moment had arrived, Syaoran took a deep breath and steadied himself before baring all that had been engulfing his thoughts and feelings. "If you don't want me that's fine, just walk out that door and forget I ever said anything. But..but if there's any small chance you have feelings for me I beg you to trust me, to trust in our friendship." He paused. "And know that I love you."

He paused again, this time reflecting. "I think I always have, but I was too scared of even thinking about it. I couldn't lose you. Do you know how important you are? Whenever I think of you being gone, there's this gnawing in my chest. It feels like I can't breathe. You are the most amazing person I have ever known, so kind and understanding. And beautiful. I remember when I first realized it. It was at the party and you were dressed as an angel. You entered the room and everything seemed to light up. You were glowing and bright." Sakura's head had risen as she listened to his words.

Syaoran continued, " And beyond that, you are so selfless that you put the feelings of others above your own. The other night you said that you had loved me for years yet you helped me with Tomoyo, so that I would be happy, even though it must have been killing you. And I was unbelievably stupid and I didn't see that I was the reason for your suffering." Syaoran shook his head at his behavior. " I am so sorry for putting you through hell these past months. For being mean or jealous. And for not realizing sooner that I was in love with you." Syoaron's tone changed as he struggled to make sure she understood, "I don't want to own you. If it's Eriol or some other guy who will make you happy then I will be happy for you. You're free to do as you will. Always have. I just don't want you to give up on us, on me, because you think I don't care for you."

Syaoran stopped for a moment. He was shaking from adrenaline. And he could see she was too, her shoulders were rising and falling heavily from her shaky breathing. She was still facing away from him, but he noted that she hadn't run from him either.

"And I'm scared too," he admitted. "I know that's its terrifying but well then it wouldn't be real. It wouldn't be love. But if you can just trust that no matter what happens we can get through it as long as we're together, then I know it will all be okay. We've made it through so much together already."

The only sound in the room was the howling of the wind against the building and their heavy breathing. Slowly Sakura turned and faced the one who had been the cause of such pain and such joy in her life. Her green eyes wavered, full with unshed tears. There was fear in her expression, but also acceptance. She'd been caught. She had been hiding trying not to face up to the reality that she still loved him and in all likelihood always would. Love is not something that appears out of thin air, it would not be so quick to disappear either. Sakura could feel her heart beat strong and heavy, yearning to explode with the joy that Syaoran loved her, truly and deeply loved her. But these past months, actually the past years had given her so much grief. She was so scared that this was some kind of trick her mind had made up. And she would wake up heartbroken all over again. The debate was evident on her face, wondering if she could open up to Syaoran again, wondering if it would it be worth the risk.

Timidly she walked up to Syaoran, a little wobble in her step as her body gently trembled. When then distance was closed between them she raised her right hand tracing it along his face in an innocent almost childlike gesture as her eyes searched his face. Syaoran held firm, staring directly into her questioning eyes willing her to see that what he said was real, willing her to see his love. Both bodies were shaking with the rush of emotions, the strain of unanswered feelings.

Shifting her weight to her toes Sakura placed a gossamer kiss on his mouth. Then she slid her hand down his arm until she reached his hand, resting the inside of her fingertips on the inside of his. "You know I could never give up on you. Ever."

Syaoran was in a daze trying to figure out what was going on, but gradually a smile spread across his face as it dawned on him. The infectious smile appeared on Sakura's face as well. She gave a squeal of surprise as he scooped her up into his arms and waltzed her around the room all laughter and smiles.

Joy radiated off the couple, they were giddy with happiness like children at their first carnival. Finally Sakura and Syaoran were complete; no longer was either of them being only partly honest.

Out of breath they stopped. Faces flushed and eyes dancing they remained in each other's arms.

"I love you." Syaoran whispered, his voice soft.

Sakura felt her heart skip as she whispered back, "And I love you."

Syaoran lowered his head as Sakura lifted hers to meet him. And that is how the two best friends shared their first true kiss, a kiss born from freedom of choice unbound by confusion or ties to others. Sakura felt herself grow lightheaded from the gentle movements of Syaoran's lips on hers as waves of warmth coursed through her veins, giving her delicious shivers.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Sakura and Syaoran found themselves in his car holding hands, waiting at that eternal stoplight for it to finally permit them to pass. They share a glance and smiles creep onto their faces as they bask in the peaceful calm after the storm. All the confusion, all the pain, had left them stronger and ready to face the hardships of love, confident in the knowledge that love would not be so wondrous if it was so easy to find and hold. And now whatever happened would happen to both of them, together. They would be there for one another through thick and thin.

Sakura gave an inward sigh. Not all was perfect. She knew that there were amends to be made to Eriol, to Tomoyo. She and Syaoran had messes to clean up that their blindness and mistakes had led to, other lives that they had affected on their path to finding each other. But eventually it would turn out alright. It always does. There would always be storms. She knew that the key was to simply ride them out and wait for a better day. And what better way to pass that time than side by side with the one you love like they had for years as friends.

Sakura peered up at the blue street sign that waved back and forth in the gusts of wind.

"Dream" she murmured and looked at the one she had loved for so long. How many times they had sat together in this car side by side. But never had it felt like this. 'My dream,' She thought. 'This is definitely not how I imagined it could have happened, but it did happened. My dream became real...'

Reality's Dream

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

a/n: So here it is the final chapter. Not perfect but I felt it more important to finally conclude this story somewhat. Hopefully I will get the chance to add more depth later.

And now the story is at an end. It's been a wonderful ride and an honor to write for those that have enjoyed it as well. I hope every reader has been able to a see a piece of themselves or their lives in at least a part of this story. Thank you thank you thank you to all the readers and reviewers. You have made it an interesting experience. Much love to you all.

Let me know what you think. Did this story affect you, what parts did you like, etc...


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